Funny / Log Two

• Most of the crew's Christmas time antics. As observed by a very baffled Spock
  • Scotty and his diagrams of a four-dimensional christmas tree. And it is Spock who gets cornered by the Chief Engineer.
  • Drunk Uhura.
    Uhura:: Communication is the most important, most necessariest section on this ship. Why, without communication we ... we couldn't talk to each other!
• Spock's evident relief at having finally escaped from the Christmas party.
  Spock:: In fact, sometimes, Captain, I often wonder how you humans ever managed to discover fire.
• McCoy's bafflement when Kirk has finally spotted the shapeshifter.
  McCoy:: Did you say that I'm a man of curious habits, Spock? Jim's talking to a table!
• Later, during the search for the shapeshifter:
  Kirk (having just returned from an encounter with the imposter):]] For a minute it occurred to me ... I thought -(grins)I thought that you might be the Vendorian now.''
  Spock:: (completely serious): What makes you think I'm not, Captain?
  Kirk:: (stops chuckling and gives Spock an uncertain glance)
• Just after Kirk states that at least the Vendorian is only one problem, Romulan cruisers appear on the sensors.
  Spock: 'What was that you just said about dealing with only one problem, Captain?
  Kirk: ''Spock, if I didn't know that you weren't prone to malicious sarcasm, I'd ... ahhh, never mind.
• The issues involved in rounding up the crew after shore leave.
  Two days later the last member of the crew had been rounded up, brought back on board, and either treated for accumulated cuts and bruises, formally bailed out, or sobered up.
• The Enterprise is assigned to investigate a section of space famous for regularly timed disappearances - right when the next disappearance is scheduled if the pattern holds true.
  Admiral:: They won't miss you for a few days.
  Kirk (thinking): If that schedule holds true, we may be missed for more than a few days...
• The male crew members of Enterprise under the influence of the Lorelei signal. Scotty sets to singing Highland ballads, and that is the least ridiculous issue at hand.
• Uhura introducing herself to the Lorelei giantesses.
  Lorelei Leader: I am Theela, head female of this compound.
  Uhura: Lieutenant Uhura of the starship Enterprise, head female of this bunch of party crashers.
• Sulu getting stalked by a tiny "ambulatory plant," aka "fuzzy."
  Sulu:: I think it likes me.
  Kirk:: We always encourage our officers to make friends with the natives.
  McCoy:: ''I always did think your personality was kind of wooden, Sulu.
• Kirk trying to stare down the gigantic alien who has kidnapped Spock is awesome, but his mental commentary...
  If Spock had been present he'd undoubtedly have advised against a confrontation between Kirk and a man four times his size and more so in weight.
• Kirk's (accurate) assessment of their Well-Intentioned Extremist adversary.
  Kirk (when the landing party is discussing whether they have been spotted): If he knew we were back he'd show up roaring biblical pronouncements, or send a crop of those toothy fliers.
• When they realize the resident plant-aliens are planning to take over the galaxy.
  McCoy: I always did hate vegetables as a kid. Now I know I had a good reason.
• When they discover there is a weapons-deactivator at work on the surface, McCoy, of all people, comes up with a plan to take down the plant-aliens and rescue Spock.
  McCoy: Well, how about that,Great-grandpappy's weed spray still works.

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