History Funny / Jingo

** Ahmed, who had previously spent all his time interacting with Morporkian characters in full [[FunnyForeigner lecherous-pidgin-speaking-camel-driver mode,]] adopts the drawl of a Morporkian upper class gentleman, having attended the Assassins Guild school while in Klatch, on the grounds that it pays to be a FunnyForeigner wherever you go, [[ObfuscatingStupidity because everyone assumes that foreigners are a bit stupid.]] Vimes' dumbfounded reaction - despite having seen through Ahmed's ObfuscatingStupidity by this point - is brilliant.

* Leonard of Quirm offhandedly makes a comment quite pertinent to the story, and Vetinari makes it halfway through his elaborate trap system after leaving the room before it registers. He then comes back as quickly as possible, straightens himself out (this is all described ''in sound effects only''), comes in, sits calmly down and says, "You did WHAT?!"

-Terry Pratchett, Jingo

** The fact that after Nobby's being given what seems to be an extremely auspicious reading, Mrs. Cake feels compelled to go back to her crystal ball and doublecheck. And then spends the rest of the morning laughing.

** The rest of the conversation is also filled with hilarity, from Vetinari pointing out that their last warship sank hundreds of years ago, to the head of the armorers guild boasting about how many weapons he's been making [[NotHelpingYourCase before Lord Vetinari drags out of him how many of those weapons were sold to Klatch]] to Lord Vetinari pointing out how much of the cities population have been weaseling out of paying their taxes (which could have been used to fund the war) and the nobles and guild heads hurriedly changing the subject when Vetinari suggests sending Vimes (who’s grinning with anticipation) and his men to collect from the "prime defaulters" with permission to use force if they resist.

* The StealthPun when Carrot and Angua are interviewing the gnoll Stoolie about the attempted assassination, and Angua is disgusted by the fact that Stoolie has grass growing on him. In other words, he's a [[UsefulNotes/ConspiracyTheories Grassy Gnoll]].

* Nobby's crossdressing act, when the narrator points out the complete and utter aversion of the AttractiveBentGender trope, because this is ''[[{{Gonk}} Nobby Nobbs]]'' we're talking about, and it gets even better when Nobby turns into an exaggerated caricature of a StrawFeminist and has to be constantly reminded that he is not, in fact, a woman.

** The rest of the conversation is also filled with hilarity, from Vetinari pointing out that their last warship sank hundreds of years ago, to the head of the armorers guild boasting about how many weapons he's been making [[NotHelpingYourCase before Lord Vetinari drags out of him how many of those weapons were sold to Klatch]] to Lord Vetinari pointing out how much of the cities population have been weaseling out of paying their taxes (which could have been used to fund the war) and the nobles and guild heads hurriedly changing the subject when Vetinari suggests sending Vimes (who is grinning with anticipation) and his men to collect from the "prime defaulters" with permission to use force if they resist.

* After Colon is told to TurnInYourBadge and tells Rust [[AssShove where he can stick it]], while ''Rust'' [[SelectiveObliviousness immediately erases him from memory]], Colon is so consumed with terror about it that he goes several pages without being able to say anything other than a variation on "I told him to put it where the sun does not shine."

** Earlier, he is told that the Morporkians have been saying that he will run away in terror after getting "a taste of cold steel". Cadram asks for some cold steel, theatrically licks the blade, and then says that somehow or other, he's not terrified at all.

* Leonard of Quirm offhandedly makes a comment quite pertinent to the story, and Vetinari makes it halfway back through his elaborate trap system after leaving the room before it registers. He then comes back as quickly as possible, straightens himself out (this is all described ''in sound effects only''), comes in, sits calmly down and says, "You did WHAT?!"

* [[TheComicallySerious Lord Vetinari]], dictator of Ankh-Morpork, juggling and shilling a game of guess-which-cup-the-egg-is-under. Later revealing that he actually never learned to juggle, and he always knows where the chicken is. After running Ankh-Morpork with even a small measure of efficiency, what he's just pulled off is a cake-walk.

* Colon trying to impress Nobby with his knowledge of LittleKnownFacts is always funny, but one of the best moments is in this book: Nobby asks why if your skin is all replaced after ten years he's still got his tattoo. Colon argues that it's been replaced by colored skin bits ''off other people's tattoos''. Not just that, but Nobby's tattoo says "Wum" instead of "Mum", because he fainted part-way through and the tattoo artist didn't notice.

** The rest of the conversation is also filled with hilarity, from Vetinari pointing out that their last warship sank hundreds of years ago, to the head of the armorers guild boosting about how many weapons he's been making [[NotHelpingYourCase before Lord Vetinari drags out of him how many of those weapons were sold to Klatch]] to Lord Vetinari pointing out how much of the cities population have been weaseling out of paying their taxes (which could have been used to fund the war) and the nobles and guild heads hurriedly changing the subject when Vetinari suggests sending Vimes (who is grinning with anticipation) and his men to collect from the "prime defaulters" with permission to use force if they resist.

* Colon trying to impress Nobby with his knowledge of LittleKnownFacts is always funny, but one of the best moments is in this book: Nobby asks why if your skin is all replaced after ten years he's still got his tattoo. Colon argues that it's been replaced by colored skin bits ''off other people's tattoos''. Not just that, but Nobby's tattoo says "Wum" instead of "Mum."

-->"The ''Prid''?"\\

* [[UnfortunateNames The Prid of Ankh-Morpork]]. [[note]]Due a misspelling by an absent-minded ship painter who decided to continue instead of making the correction[[/note]]

** When the exotic dancer costume is first broughtt out Nobby comments about how he doesn't think it will fit Vetinari, with the narrative noting that he regretted those words immediately.

** The rest of the conversation is also filled with hilarity, from Vetinari pointing out that their last warship sank hundreds of years ago, to the head of the armorers guild boosting about how many weapons he's been making [[NotHelpingYourCase before Lord Vetinari drags out of him how many of those weapons were sold to Klatch]] to Lord Vetinari pointing out how much of the cities population have been weaseling out of paying their taxes (which could have been used to fund the war) and the nobles and guild heads hurriedly changing the subject when Vetinari suggests sending Vimes (who is grinngin with anticipation) and his men to collect from the "prime defaulters" with permission to use force if they resist.