History Funny / Jingo

3rd Feb '18 6:40:25 PM Circeus
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* Leonard of Quirm offhandedly makes a comment quite pertinent to the story, and Vetinari makes it halfway back through his elaborate trap system after leaving the room before it registers. He then comes back as quickly as possible, straightens himself out, comes in, sits calmly down and says, "You did WHAT?!"

to:

* Leonard of Quirm offhandedly makes a comment quite pertinent to the story, and Vetinari makes it halfway back through his elaborate trap system after leaving the room before it registers. He then comes back as quickly as possible, straightens himself out, out (this is all described ''in sound effects only''), comes in, sits calmly down and says, "You did WHAT?!"
11th Jan '18 3:35:08 AM ArcaneAzmadi
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-->'''Carrot:''' Traditionally, traitors are dragged to their place of execution on a hurdle. And then you're hung, drawn and quartered. I know about the hanging and quartering but I'm not sure how you're drawn, sir.
-->'''Vetinari:''' Are you any good with a pencil, captain?
-->'''Vimes:''' No, he's not!



-->'''Vimes:''' No!

to:

-->'''Vimes:''' No!''No!''



--> '''Carrot:''' Traditionally, traitors are dragged to their place of execution on a hurdle. And then you're hung, drawn and quartered. I know about the hanging and quartering but I'm not sure how you're drawn, sir.
--> '''Vetinari:''' Are you any good with a pencil, captain?
11th Jan '18 3:33:49 AM ArcaneAzmadi
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** For added hilarity, Nobby soon realised that he could utilize his newly obtained feminine wiles to obtain food and a fully functioning flying carpet from the enemy force -- i.e. he told the Klatchian quarter master that he would take off his clothes and scream, unless given food.

to:

** For added hilarity, Nobby soon realised that he could utilize his newly obtained feminine wiles to obtain food and a fully functioning flying carpet from the enemy force -- i.e. he told the Klatchian quarter master that he would take off his clothes and scream, unless given food.



* Lord Vetinari, under arrest for treason, asks if it's possible to be dragged through the streets in chains on a hurdle. Nobby reports from the sports shop that they don't have hurdles but they do have a small trampoline. Lord Vetinari bouncing up and down maintaining a perfectly deadpan expression...

to:

* Lord Vetinari, under arrest for treason, asks if it's possible to be dragged through the streets in chains on a hurdle. Nobby later reports from the sports shop that they don't have hurdles but they do have a ping-pong table for $10; they also have a small trampoline. trampoline but Colon thought that would be a bit ridiculous. Imagine Lord Vetinari bouncing up and down maintaining a perfectly deadpan expression...



--> '''Carrot:''' I don't think we have a hurdle.
--> '''Vetinari:''' Well, I believe there's a rather large sporting goods store on Gleam Street. (''Off Vimes' look'') Just trying to be helpful, Commander.
--> '''Carrot:''' Technically, sir, traitors are to be dragged through the street on a hurdle. Then they're hung, drawn, and quartered. I know about hanging and quartering, sir, but I'm not quite sure how you're drawn.
--> '''Vetinari:''' Are you any good with a pencil, Captain?
--> '''Vimes:''' Are you taking this ''seriously''?

to:

-->'''Vetinari:''' Do you actually ''have'' a hurdle?
-->'''Vimes:''' No!
-->'''Vetinari:''' Oh? Well, I believe there's a sports equipment shop in Sheer Street. Just in case, Sir Samuel.
--> '''Carrot:''' I don't think we have a hurdle.
--> '''Vetinari:''' Well, I believe there's a rather large sporting goods store on Gleam Street. (''Off Vimes' look'') Just trying to be helpful, Commander.
--> '''Carrot:''' Technically, sir,
Traditionally, traitors are to be dragged through the street to their place of execution on a hurdle. Then they're And then you're hung, drawn, drawn and quartered. I know about the hanging and quartering, sir, quartering but I'm not quite sure how you're drawn.
drawn, sir.
--> '''Vetinari:''' Are you any good with a pencil, Captain?
--> '''Vimes:''' Are you taking this ''seriously''?
captain?
29th Dec '17 10:57:40 PM SeizureFerret
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* Nobby's crossdressing act, when the narrator points out the complete and utter aversion of the AttractiveBentGender trope, because this is ''[[{{Gonk}} Nobby Nobbs]]'' we're talking about, and it gets even better when Nobby turns into an exaggerated caricature off a StrawFeminist and has to be constantly reminded that he is not, in fact, a woman.

to:

* Nobby's crossdressing act, when the narrator points out the complete and utter aversion of the AttractiveBentGender trope, because this is ''[[{{Gonk}} Nobby Nobbs]]'' we're talking about, and it gets even better when Nobby turns into an exaggerated caricature off of a StrawFeminist and has to be constantly reminded that he is not, in fact, a woman.
20th Nov '17 4:04:07 PM Montanto
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* [[MuggingTheMonster Hostage negotiation]]
3rd Sep '17 8:00:33 AM Materioptikon
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** The fact that after Nobby's being given what seems to be an extremely auspicious reading, Mrs. Cake feels compelled to go back to her crystal ball and doublecheck.
28th Jul '17 3:48:22 AM DoktorvonEurotrash
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* The StealthPun when Carrot and Angua are interviewing the gnoll Stoolie about the attempted assassination, and Angua is disgusted by the fact that Stoolie has grass growing on him. In other words, he's a [[UsefulNotes/ConspiracyTheories Grassy Gnoll]].
24th Jan '17 12:36:13 PM NanoMoose
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(In Ankh-Morpork, there really ''is'' a difference between Assassins and those who 'just kill people for money'... at least, if you ask the Assassins about it anyway.)

to:

** (In Ankh-Morpork, there really ''is'' a difference between Assassins and those who 'just kill people for money'... at least, money'. Especially if you ask the Assassins about it anyway.Assassins.)



--> [''Later'']

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--> [''Later'']''(Later)''
28th Dec '16 5:51:56 PM NanoMoose
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* At the end, there's a scene where Vimes confronts 71-hour-Ahmed, where Vimes gloats about how he saw right through a murder scene, which had been manipulated to make it seem like Klatchians had been responsible. Ahmed's response: "[[BatmanGambit Yes, you did.]]". The way Vimes just deflates as it sinks into him that the scene had been manipulated by Klatchians in order to trigger his Political Correctness the wrong way (or rather: the right way) is just funny in how crestfallen he is.

to:

* At the end, there's a scene where Vimes confronts 71-hour-Ahmed, where Vimes gloats about how he saw right through a murder scene, which had been manipulated to make it seem like Klatchians had been responsible. Ahmed's response: "[[BatmanGambit Yes, you did.]]". ]]" The way poor Vimes just deflates as it sinks into him that the scene had been manipulated by Klatchians in order to trigger his Political Correctness the wrong way (or rather: the right way) is just funny in how crestfallen he is.thoroughly he's been manipulated.
5th Dec '16 6:17:10 AM jakobitis
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* Leonard's undoubted genius has one notable weakness: naming things. He designs (in his own words) a '''submersible marine''' vehicle... which he decides to then name the 'Going-Under-The-Water-Safely-Boat.'
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