History Funny / HarryPotterAndTheChamberOfSecrets

** We get some occasional levity during the heady conversation on blood supremacism as Ron continues to barf snails, making a comment that applies to both his and Hermoine's situation.

[{{Beat}} as Ron barfs yet another snail]\\

* To steal Crabbe and Goyle's hair for the Polyjuice Potion, Hermione fills two cupcakes with Sleeping Draught, and Harry performs a Levitation Charm on them to leave them floating in the middle of the hallway. Crabbe and Goyle walk out of the Great Hall with their arms full of food, spot the floating cupcakes, [[TooDumbToLive and proceed to gleefully grab them and shove them in their mouths]]. There's about a five-second pause before they faint.

* After Harry and Ron disguised as Goyle and Crabbe infiltrate the Slytherin common room and starts the discussion with Malfoy who is the heir of Slytherin. They struggle to behave like the real Goyle and Crabbe to not arouse Malfoy's suspicions with Harry doing most of the reminder for Ron.

* Though only clear on a second read through the simple fact that [[ForWantOfANail the entire plot of the book almost gets derailed by Ginny forgetting the diary at home]], forcing everyone to go back and get it.

-->'''Lockhart:''' Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a LovePotion! And while you're at it, Professor Flitwick knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than any wizard I've ever met, the sly old dog!
-->''[[{{Facepalm}} Professor Flitwick buried his face in his hands.]] [[TranquilFury Snape was looking as though the first person to ask him for a Love Potion would be force-fed poison.]]''

-->'''Hagrid:''' "[[BrickJoke I've heard you've bin givin' out signed photos.]] How come I haven't got one?"
-->'''Harry:''' "I have not been giving out signed photos, if Lockhart's still spreading that around..."

--> '''Hagrid:''' What're you doing here? Get out of my house!\\

-->'''Ron:''' But, it can't hurt if someone throws something at you. I mean, it would just go right through you.
-->'''Myrtle:''' [getting right in Ron's face] [[SuddenlyShouting OH SURE!]] Let's all throw books at Myrtle just because she can't feel it! Ten points if you get it through her stomach! [punches Ron in the stomach] Fifty points if it goes THROUGH HER HEAD! [punches Ron right between the eyes]

-->'''Ron''': Maybe trying random phrases will work. Pudding fork? Butter polish? Fish whistle?\\
'''Hermione''': (''from offscreen'') Maybe you should try "traffic violation" instead.
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'''Molly via Howler:''' '''''[[FullNameUltimatum RONALD WEASLEY!!!]]''''' ''[The Howler forms itself into an origami ranting face]'' '''HOW ''DARE'' YOU STEAL THAT CAR!! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! ''[Ron looks at the Howler with sheer terror.]'' YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ''ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT!!'' IF YOU PUT ANOTHER ''TOE'' OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU ''STRAIGHT HOME!!!''''' ''[Ron simply nods, too terrified to speak. The Howler turns to Ginny, now speaking in a quiet and loving voice]'' [[MoodWhiplash Oh, and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor.]] [[SoProudOfYou Your father and I are so proud.]] ''[The Howler turns back to Ron, blows a raspberry at him, then tears itself to pieces]''

'''Molly via Howler:''' '''''[[FullNameUltimatum RONALD WEASLEY!!!]]''''' ''[The Howler forms itself into an origami ranting face]'' '''HOW ''DARE'' YOU STEAL THAT CAR!! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! ''[Ron looks at the Howler with sheer terror.]]'' YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ''ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT!!'' IF YOU PUT ANOTHER ''TOE'' OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU ''STRAIGHT HOME!!!''''' ''[Ron simply nods, too terrified to speak. The Howler turns to Ginny, now speaking in a quiet and loving voice]'' [[MoodWhiplash Oh, and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor.]] [[SoProudOfYou Your father and I are so proud.]] ''[The Howler turns back to Ron, blows a raspberry at him, then tears itself to pieces]''

'''Molly via Howler:''' '''''[[FullNameUltimatum RONALD WEASLEY!!!]]''''' ''[The Howler forms itself into an origami ranting face]'' '''HOW ''DARE'' YOU STEAL THAT CAR!! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ''ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT!!'' IF YOU PUT ANOTHER ''TOE'' OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU ''STRAIGHT HOME!!!''''' ''[Ron simply nods, too terrified to speak. The Howler turns to Ginny, now speaking in a quiet and loving voice]'' [[MoodWhiplash Oh, and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor.]] [[SoProudOfYou Your father and I are so proud.]] ''[The Howler turns back to Ron, blows a raspberry at him, then tears itself to pieces]''

** Harry finds the whole thing ActuallyPrettyFunny. He at least feels reassured that Fred and George genuinely ''don't'' think he's the Heir.

* How does Gryffindor, essentially two players down thanks to a rogue Bludger, manage to beat Slytherin? Malfoy is so busy jeering at Harry that he ''[[FailedASpotCheck doesn't even notice the Snitch hovering over his ear!]]'' Later on, George Weasley tells Harry that he managed to catch Flint yelling at Malfoy over it.

* At the very end, Ginny reveals that Percy's odd behaviour that year was due to him secretly dating Penelope Clearwater, the prefect in Ravenclaw. When she asks the others not to tease him about it:

--->'''Lockhart:''' Am I a professor? Goodness. I expect I was hopeless, was I?
--->'''Ron:''' He tried to do a Memory Charm and the wand backfired.
--->'''Dumbledore:''' Dear me. Impaled upon your own sword, Gilderoy!
--->'''Lockhart:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Sword? Haven't got a sword. That boy has, though. He'll lend you one.]]

--->'''Hagrid:''' It wasn't Harry, Professor Dumbledore! I was talkin' ter him ''seconds'' before that kid was found, he never had the time, sir--
--->'''Dumbledore:''' ''(tries to say something)''
--->'''Hagrid:''' --it can't've bin him, I'll swear it in front o' the Ministry o' Magic if I have to--
--->'''Dumbledore:''' Hagrid, I--
--->'''Hagrid:''' --yeh've got the wrong boy, sir, I ''know'' Harry never--
--->'''Dumbledore:''' ''(shouting) Hagrid!'' ''[{{Beat}}]'' I do ''not'' think that Harry attacked those people.
--->'''Hagrid:''' Oh. Right. I'll wait outside then, Headmaster. ''(he leaves, embarrassed)''