History Funny / GoodBurger

-->'''Ed:''' Strawberry Jacuzzi!

-->'''Kurt''': Man, this place is the most nauseating, pathetic hole I've ever seen. I mean, what kinda diseased maggot would even consider eating here?
-->'''Ed''': Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?
-->'''Kurt''': Hey, check it, boys! Right back there! (''points at Dexter'') It's the reject.
-->'''Dexter:''' Hey, check it, Ed! It's the Mondo Idiot!
-->'''Ed:''' Oh, nice to meet you, Mondo Idiot, I'm Ed.
-->'''Kurt:''' Well, ''Ed'', you better watch your butt, man!
-->'''Ed:''' Okay.
-->''([[LiteralMinded Tries and ends up spinning around and around]])''
-->'''Dexter''': Look, you got a purpose of being here?
-->'''Kurt''': Yeah, I do. I just thought you Good Burger losers should be aware that tonight's the grand opening of Mondo Burger. (''Spatch growls'') The second we open our doors, Good Burger goes in the grinder.
-->'''Dexter''': Again with this grinder! Look, man, you either order something or you can get outta here.
-->'''Kurt''': Yeah. Sure. You can take my order. I'll have the very last Good Burger to go. (''takes a bite of the burger, slurps a soda then throws the cup on the floor as he leaves'')
-->'''Ed:''' (''dizzy'') I give up. There's no way a guy can watch his own butt.

-->'''Shaq:''' Little man, I ordered tomatoes on this Good Burger, I don't see no tomatoes.
-->'''Ed:''' Well, hang on... (Ed pulls a couple of {{Hammerspace}} tomato slices from his shirt pocket, and slaps them on Shaq's burger) There, consider yourself tomatoe'd! Ha!
-->'''Shaq:''' You're not like other people, are you?
-->'''Ed:''' ({{Beat}}) [[ComicallyMissingThePoint No]].

--> "I know some of these words."

-->'''Customer:''' Excuse me. I ordered one Good Burger with nothing on it!
-->'''Ed:''' But that's what I gave you.
-->'''Customer:''' No, you gave me a BUN! Just a BUN! Look! There's no meat in here!
-->'''Ed:''' But you said you wanted nothing on it!
-->'''Customer:''' Yeah, well I expected a meat patty!
-->'''Ed:''' Dude, a meat patty is something. You said nothing. Fizz, is a meat patty something or nothing?
-->'''Fizz:''' Uh... Something?
-->'''Ed:''' I win!
-->'''Customer:''' All right, that rips it! I'm reporting your name to the manager!
-->'''Ed:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint The manager already knows my name!]]
-->'''Customer:''' *huffs* I'll see you in ''Hell!''
-->'''Ed:''' (beat) Okay, see ya there!

-->'''Ed:''' What's wrong? Is it your butt again?

-->'''Ed:''' Look, Dex! Ice cream! They got fudgy pops! Monstercicles!
-->'''Dexter:''' Ed, this is no time for frozen confectionary treats, alright?!

-->'''Ed:''' HOW Y'ALL LIKE ME NOW?! I'M A DUDE, THROWIN' ICE CREAM! HERE'S SOME VANILLA! TAKE SOME CHOCOLATE! '''''[[LargeHam FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!!!]]'''''

-->''(Dexter calls his sister on his phone)

-->'''Charlotte:''' ''(bluntly)'' [[BluntNo No.]]
-->''(Charlotte immediately hangs up on Dexter)''

-->'''Cecil [=McNevins:=]''' Now that we own Good Burger, we gonna make some new, exciting changes!

-->'''Cecil:''' First of all, we shuttin' down this store! ''[laughs]'

-->'''Cecil:''' First of all, we shuttin' down this store! ''(laughs)''

-->'''Everyone:''' ''(with Dexter)''' Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut it down!

* At the Good Burger franchising party, Cecil [=McNevins=] tells Ed and Dexter that they'll be closing the flagship store now that [=MegaCorp=] owns Good Burger. Everyone first assumes that it's a party call before he clarifies and tells every Good Burger employee that they're all fired. Ed thinks this is another party call and keeps partying ''even'' after the music dies down. What makes it even funnier is that Ed 2 is still dancing alongside his father! It takes Ed and his son to look at everyone's faces to realize that they're ''really'' fired.

-->'''Dexter:''' ''[[ComicallyMissingthePoint (missing the point)]]'' Oh, yeah, that's right! We gonna party all night! ''(turns to the crowd and chants)'' Shut it down!

--> (The music dies down as everyone is left dumbfounded at the truth while Ed and his son Ed 2 keep partying)
-->'''Ed:''' [[ComicallyMissingthePoint I like that, fired! Fired, heh! Fired, heh! It's hot! We're fired, we're fired! Oh, woo!]] ''(Ed 2 stops dancing in the background as Ed sees everyone's faces)'' Fired! Eh- Fi- ''(Ed realizes too late that he and everyone at Good Burger just lost their jobs)'' [[LatetotheRealization Oh, you mean we're really fired.]]

* While Dexter is driving down the road after getting off of school, Ed comes rolling by on his rollerblades and into his path. This causes Dexter to slam hard on the brakes and go spinning, until his car slams into the car of none other than Mr. Wheat, his teacher.
-->'''Mr. Wheat:''' Ah, ow! (''fumbles with the airbag, then starts sifting his hands through his hair'') My afro! My afro- (''abruptly stops as he realizes who just crashed into him, slowly turns his head around to glare at Dexter'')
-->'''Dexter:''' (''with an epic OhCrap look on his face'') '''''[[BigWhy Why?!]]'''''
-->'''Mr. Wheat:''' (''speaking with utter TranquilFury'') Ah, Brother Reed. [[SkewedPriorities You have messed up my afro]].
** The shaken Dexter then tells his friend Jake, who was in the passenger side, to just be cool. Only Jake [[ScrewThisImOutOfHere was already out the car door and running away as fast as he could]].
* Dexter trying (and failing miserably) to make a Mondo Burger.
-->'''Griffin:''' Bun! Patty! Toppings! Sauce! Assemble!
-->Bun! Patty! Toppings! Sauce! Assemble!
-->Bun! Patty! Toppings! Sauce! (eyes Dexter struggling) As-sem-ble...
* The end of Kurt's Mondo Burger orientation speech:
-->'''Kurt''': From now on, your ''LIFE'' is Mondo Burger! You can forget about your friends, you can forget about your family, because Kurt is now your mother ''and'' your father.\\
'''Dexter''': ''(Whispering to a girl next to him)'' Kurt must look awfully strange naked.
* Ed trying to fix the milkshake machine.

* The first meeting between Ed and Dexter, who was trying to remember where he's seen Ed before.
-->'''Dexter:''' I could've sworn I've seen you somewhere before.
-->'''Ed:''' Hey, I know! Maybe I'm someone famous. Y'know, like a baseball player or a pretty nurse!
-->'''Dexter:''' [[BigWhat WHAT!?]] Man, what in the world are you talking about!?
-->'''Ed:''' Okay, I give up. ''Who'' am I?
-->'''Dexter:''' I don't know ''who'' you are or ''where'' I know you from or ''why'' you think you're an attractive nurse!
* Ed's first encounter with Kurt.

* Ed in general.

* Ed rollerblading to work at the beginning. Especially the part with the baby and the basketball players.
* Ed's attempt to blow a kiss at Roxanne.

* "Look! I'm Grape Nose Boy!"

* The scene where Ed pours the chemical into the meat supply and Mondo Burger becomes [[HoistByHisOwnPetard "a victim of its own foul play"]].
** "Kurt's going to jail, Kurt's going to jail, Kurt's going to jail, jail, jail..."

* When Ed delivers Shaq's Good Burger.
-->'''Shaq:''' Little man, I ordered tomatoes on this Good Burger, I don't see no tomatoes.
-->'''Ed:''' Well, hang on... (Ed pulls a couple of {{Hammerspace}} tomato slices from his shirt pocket, and slaps them on Shaq's burger) There, consider yourself tomatoe'd! Ha!
-->'''Shaq:''' You're not like other people, are you?
-->'''Ed:''' ({{Beat}}) [[ComicallyMissingThePoint No]].

* When Ed reads over Dexter's contract. He appears to be reading it over, going "mm-hmm" repeatedly, but then...
--> "I know some of these words."

* In the second movie, during the otherwise somber scene when Good Burger is shut down, Ed has an ImagineSpot about getting another job, including as a heart surgeon and an opera singer. You haven't lived until you've seen Ed attempt an opera rendition of "We're All Dudes".

* Look carefully, and you'll see the ice cream truck is owned by the "O'Bese Bros".

* At one point, a dog runs up to Ed, who reads his barking as "[[TimmyInAWell Four clowns are stranded on the highway with a broken radiator]]". Dexter tells him not to be stupid and that the dog's just hungry, so they feed him a Mondo Burger, but when he refuses to eat it, they feed him a Good Burger, which is how they find [[EvilDetectingDog something suspicious about Mondo Burger]]. At the end of the scene, GilliganCut to [[TheCuckoolanderWasRight five clowns, standing by a broken car, wondering where the dog went]]. Well, Ed was ''close''.

* While Dexter is driving down the road after getting off of school, Ed comes rolling by his blades and into his path. This causes Dexter to slam hard on the brakes and go spinning, until his car slams into the car of none other than Mr. Wheat, his teacher.

* The "Chariots of Fire" music playing during the slow-motion scene of Dexter and Ed running towards Shaq and hugging him.

* At one point, a dog runs up to Ed, who reads his barking as "[[TimmyInAWell A bunch of clowns are stranded on the highway with a broken radiator]]". Dexter tells him not to be stupid and that the dog's just hungry, so they feed him a Mondo Burger, but when he refuses to eat it, they feed him a Good Burger, which is how they find [[EvilDetectingDog something suspicious about Mondo Burger]]. At the end of the scene, GilliganCut to [[TheCuckoolanderWasRight a bunch of clowns, standing by a broken car, wondering where the dog went]].

-->'''Ed''': Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Cann I take your order?

* When Ed, Dexter and Otis escape from Demented Hills, they decide to take an ice cream truck. Then comes all the flinging of various ice cream at the windshield to the point that it's become too thick to see out.

** When Dexter accidentally hits Roxanne's butt, as he was trying to hit Ed's to keep him from telling her the secret recipe.

'''Dexter''': ''(Whispering to a girl next to him)'' Kurt must look awfully strange nekkid.