- Farrah's shocked expression when she learns one of the lesbian homecoming queens is her daughter.
- "Why didn't I feel anything when I kissed Oliver? He makes really cool cranes!" The wing flapping is what sells it.
- Shane to Amy: "If they find out you're lying they'll lynch you without getting the irony."
- Lauren to Shane: "You go through guys like a chainsaw through puppies!"
- The threesome tutorial.
"These are the three Fs for not f***ing up a threesome!"
- Farrah: If my mother finds out Amy's a lesbian I'll never hear the end of it
Bruce: Your mother couldn't spot a lesbian at a Melissa Etheridge concert
- Penelope's reaction to a fight over David Beckham sums up many non-jocks' reactions:
Penelope: Ugh...SPORTS!! ...I can't...
- Farrah:: Just make sure you're protected
Amy: I...keep a softball bat under my bed
- "Old People love me, I share their values"
- Everything involving the "dungeon"
- "Who wants to help me arrange these dildos?"
- Tommy's attempted escape cutting off Karma's serenade
- Shane: I see a lot of cold showers in my future.
cue the lawn sprinklers and an enraged Lauren.
- Shane kissing Karma followed by her being weirded out and him not understanding what's so great about it.
- Lauren on ecstasy.
- "Goodbye butt tape, I'll miss you least of all."
- "AAAAAARE YOU READY TO ROLE-PLAAAAAAY?!?!" *silence* "You're getting out of class for the day, so fake it." *lukewarm clapping*