* When the parents talk about moving, the younger kids rig Mike to a rope to spy on them through the laundry chute. When they pull him up, he shouts, "We're gonna move!" The others drop him in shock.
* "SAVE MY BABY!"
* "You soaked his ''underwear'', in meat. That was wrong. Funny, but ''wrong''."
* When Tom is looking after the kids on his own and trying to talk with Kate on the phone, something hits him in the head. Then he nearly gets hit by a frisbee thrown inside the house. A dart nearly hits him in the foot. He has to hide in the front closet to avoid being hit with silly string by Nigel and Kyle. Then comes the hilarious bit when the boys embed an axe in the door.
* The kids all sneaking out to Dylan's birthday party, only to crash it when the pet snake they got him gets loose, forcing Tom and the entire football team to round them up.
** The bounce house exploding, launching Tom towards Dylan in a body slam and sending him to the hospital with a broken arm.
-->'''Dylan''': That was my best birthday ever, coach!
* When Kate is about to come home, the phone rings and Tom goes to answer it. Nigel and Kyle see him and go "GRRRR!" at him. Tom simply tells them to go and get dressed.
* Dylan swinging from the chandelier of the new house, with Tom desperately trying to calm the situation down:
--> '''Tom''': It's okay, Dylan, I swing from chandeliers all the time.
--> '''Dylan''': Cool!
** Also his attempts to make casual chat when ''he'' gets stuck on the chandelier along with him:
--> '''Tom''': So Dylan, know any good restaurants?
** Then the chains holding up the chandelier begin to crumble. Dylan lets go and lands in his mother's arms, just as chandelier breaks and crashes to the floor, taking Tom with it (he's unharmed).
-->'''Tom''': Y'know, for the minute and a half we moved here, I really hated that chandelier.
* The RunningGag with the falling chandelier, twice taking the contractor down with it.
!!Literature/CheaperByTheDozen, the book
* A friend sends an ardent member of the birth control movement to the Gilbreths', telling her that Mrs. Gilbreth might be a good candidate for joining. HilarityEnsues.
* The family drives, especially the one in which a woman mistakes the children for orphans and Dad for the superintendent.
* Dad (who had previously scared the children by honking the horn while they were looking in the engine for a non-existent bird) gets scared in like manner by the youngest child while fixing the engine.
-->Nobody noticed Bill. He climbed into the front seat. And then -- ''kadooka, kadooka''.