Funny / Burnistoun

• Two Scottish men get locked in a voice controlled elevator. What starts as mild annoyance devolves into complete, insane Scottish rage.
  Lift Speaker: You have not selected a-
  Guy 1: UP YOURS, YA COW! IF YE DON’T LET US THROUGH THESE DOORS, A’M GONNA COME TAE AMERICA, A’M GONNA FIND WHATEVER DESPERATE ACTRESS GAVE YE A VOICE, AN’ A’M GONNA GO TAE THE ELECTRIC CHAIR FER YE!!
  Guy 2: SCOTLAND, YE BASTARD!
  Guy 1: SCOTLAND!
  Guy 2: SCOTLAND!
  Guy 1: SCOOOOOOOOTLAND!
  Guys in unison: FREEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMMMM!
  • And then the doors open.
  Guy 2: (grinning nervously at the people outside) Goin’ up?
• A man goes to the housing association to complain about the unnamable, unimaginable thing in his basement.