Funny / Born in East L.A.

• Rudy being sexually harassed by those two guys while in jail.
  Rudy: What are you guys in for?
  Skinny guy: Good times.
  [he and the big guy laugh and slowly come towards Rudy]
  Rudy: GUUUUUAAAAARRRRRDD!!!
  Feo: (seeing the two having their way with Rudy) Hey, want these guys to stop fucking with you?
  • The skinny guy squeezing Rudy's butt.
  • Then this happens:
  Rudy: $100? Get lost!
  Feo: Suite yourself, friend.
  [the two guys laugh and grab him again]
  Feo: (reading his Bible) "Guide me, o lord. For I have walked among you..."
  Rudy: (trying to stop the guys from taking off his shirt) Make em stop! Make em stop!
  Feo: I like to help you, but I'm busy getting lost.
  • And this tops them all:
  Feo: Don't forget brother, you owe us a 100.
  Rudy: Yeah. Here's some of them: fuck you.
  Feo: The Wrath of God will follow you, heathen!
• Rudy spots the sexy redhead. Then a semi-truck with a trailer blocks his view.
  Rudy: Hey, come on, move! Get out the way, you dummy! Shit!
  • He tries to get her attention: "Hey! Hey look at me, mama! Hey look, I'm driving with no hands! Hey look, no hands! You need a tour of the lake? Come on, we'll go skinny-dipping! Hey!"
• The bus scene:
  Rudy: I'M AN AMERICAN! I WENT TO BELMONT HIGH, YOU IDIOTS! (he starts banging on the driver's door, who has earphones on. Then we cut back to Rudy still banging) I'M AN AMERICAN!! DAMN!
  (Rudy turns around to see the passengers looking at him)
  Rudy: What are you looking at?!
  Man: A pocho. A pocho pendejo^note "American jerk" like that.
  Rudy: Who are you?
  Man: Me llamo Jose Negron. Welcome to the back of the bus.
  
  Rudy: What happens next?
  Jose: We'll take a nap. And when we make up, we'll be at the border. Then they take us off the bus. And then we'll buy a beer and figure out how to be back by Monday.
  Rudy: Shit.
• During a montage, Rudy tries to get the blind guy to come to the bar.
  Rudy: You wanna go in there for a drink?
  [Blind guy shakes his head]
  Rudy: (dancing) You wanna get down? Boogie? Boogaloo?
  [Blind guy shakes his head]
  Rudy: Whatcha come down here for? (uses the blind guy's cane as a cue stick) How about a little pool?
  [Blind guy shakes his head]
  Rudy: How about a little... (puts the cane between his pointer and thumb which makes a circle)
  [Blind guy nods his head eagerly]
  • Later, he tricks a drunk guy into going back inside.
  • He forces two guys to go inside.
  Rudy: Hey, get back here! (drags them in) Now go on and have a good time!
• This dialogue:
  Rudy: (tries to grab a man's arm) Wanna come in?
  Fat black guy: Don't touch me, I'm an American citizen!
  Rudy: Chuck you, Farley.

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