History Funny / Borderlands2

--->'''Torgue:''' (after buying something in the vending machine) NOW GO PUNCH SOME BAD GUYS IN THE '''DICK!!!'''\\

'''Torgue:''' TORGUE GUNS MAKE THINGS EXPLODE! ....END OF SALES PITCH!

'''Hector:''' Goddammit.

'''Lilith:''' TINA! She's right though, shut up.

'''Krieg:''' [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers MEAT.]]

** "LOTTA PEOPLE BEEN ASKING WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKING TIME. THE TORGUE STOCKHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE [[ClusterFBomb SH*T, C*CK, P*SSY, AND F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS]]. THAT'S LIKE HALF MY F*CKING VOCABULARY! IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!

[[VideoGame/AlteredBeast Rise from your grave!]]\\

'''*WARNING: DOCTOR ZED IS [[BackAlleyDoctor NOT A REAL DOCTOR]]. SEE ALSO: [[ProductPlacement PEPPER]], [[GangstaRap DRE]], [[ComicBook/SpiderMan OCTOPUS]]. PLEASE SEEK OUT AN ACTUAL LICENSED PHYSICIAN*'''\\

[[VideoGame/TheLegendofZelda "It's dangerous to go alone, jerkwad!"]]\\

* Every one of Scooter's love quests involves you grabbing nudie mags for the secondary objective. For him, it's [[ADateWithRosiePalms Plan B]].

-->Dook hut -- [[ADateWithRosiePalms no fapping]]!

[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/i_wonder_what_he_wants.jpg]]
[[caption-width-right:350:His name's Face [=McShooty=]. [[SarcasmMode I wonder what he wants?]]]]
''VideoGame/Borderlands2'' is a BlackComedy that is absolutely hilarious. You should focus on that, to avoid the [[NightmareFuel/Borderlands2 horror]] and [[TearJerker/Borderlands2 trauma]] of the game.

''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}'' is a BlackComedy that is absolutely hilarious. You should focus on that, to avoid the [[NightmareFuel/{{Borderlands 2}} horror]] and [[TearJerker/{{Borderlands 2}} trauma]] of the game.

-->Meedly-meedly-mowwww...I know, I'm so bad at this.

-->'''Gaige:''' ''Wow.''

-->'''Maya:''' ''[[{{Foreshadowing}} Keep calling me child and see what happens, jackass...]]''

-->'''Maya''': Ah to hell with it. ''(Phaselocks Sophis.)''

-->'''Salvador:''' They were bandits! They tried to kill mi abuela!
-->'''Judge:''' Yes, yes, yes - you have attempted to convince your fellow villagers of this many times. Anything ELSE to say regarding the murder of these men?
-->'''Salvador:''' Uhh... [[HeroicComedicSociopath it was fun?]]
-->'''Judge:''' Come again? Killing those men was ''fun?''
-->'''Salvador:''' [[SmitingEvilFeelsGood Killing bad guys is *always* fun!]]

-->'''[=Zer0=]:''' Leaves falling from trees /Snow drifting onto the ground / Life leaving your corpse\\

-->'''Handsome Jack''': What is this [=Zer0=] guy doing on Pandora in the first place?\\

-->'''Bandit:''' Aw, crap.
-->'''Nomad:''' Oh god'''DAMN''' it.

** Flying bandits will often say [[Film/ToraToraTora "Tora! Tora! Tora!]], or hum (Or loudly sing) the [[Film/ApocalypseNow Ride of the Valkyries]] music.

-->"Now the ladies say I hottie!"
-->"If you can't take heat, make kitchen!"

--> '''Claptrap:''' When the Crimson Raiders asked why I wanted the detonator, I told them, "be cool!" {{Beat}} HOW ARE YOU NOT LAUGHING RIGHT NOW?! THIS IS [=FbeepING=] GOLD!

* When you buy at Crazy Earl's shop, one of the lines he can say is [[MemeticMutation "It's dangerous to go alone, jerkwad!"]]

-->'''Gaige:''' Checking the mic! Mic check! Mechromancer here, bitches! Oh, god, I sound like such a jackass!

--->'''Claptrap:''' ''(InelegantBlubbering)'' I'm so alone! ''(more InelegantBlubbering)'' I'll never climb those stairs!

--> '''Claptrap:''' Ooh! Maybe grab it with your TEETH!\\

'''Roland:''' [[ScrewThisImOutOfHere Yeah I think I gonna leave now.]]\\

---> '''Face [=McShooty=]:''' I notice you haven't shot me in the face yet! Curious as to why! [[SophisticatedAsHell Maybe you're weighing the moral pros and cons but let me assure you that]] -- [[SuddenlyShouting OH MY GOD, SHOOT ME IN THE GODDAMNED FACE! WHAT'RE YOU WAITING FOR]]!?

-->'''Jack:''' MY CONSTRUCTION SITE! MOXXI, YOU ''BITCH!''
-->'''Moxxi:''' Ha! Haven't seen Jack that angry since I kicked his plastic-surgery ass to the curb. Come on back, sugar.

-->'''Mick Zaford:''' Ah, me faithful soldier. Here to help me wipe out these rednecks, are ya?
-->'''Tector Hodunk:''' The hell do you mean, YOUR soldier? They's with us!
-->'''Mick Zaford:''' My [[TooMuchInformation wart-covered]] fanny they is!
-->'''Tector Hodunk:''' We ain't sittin' for more Zaford lies! Time to END THIS!
-->'''Mick Zaford:''' Enough of this! Shoot Tector!
-->'''Tector Hodunk:''' Hell with that! Shoot Mick!
-->'''Mick Zaford;''' Screw you! Shoot those Hodunk bastards!
-->'''Tector Hodunk:''' No, shoot the Zafords!
-->'''Mick Zaford:''' They crashed me boy's wake!
-->'''Tector Hodunk:''' THEY burned our homes to the ground!
-->'''Mick Zaford:''' Shoot him!
-->'''Tector Hodunk:''' Shoot HIM!

--> ''(player destroys the second statue)''\\

-->'''Overseer:''' Commencing dance protocols -- ERROR. ERROR. ''(explodes)''\\

-->My mistress' eyes are nothing like AN EXPLOSION
-->EXPLOSIONS ARE far more red than her lips' red;
-->If snow be white, why then her breasts are NOT EXPLOSIONS BUT STILL PRETTY GREAT
-->If hairs be DYNAMITE wires, black wires grow on her head.
-->I have seen roses damask'd, red and white, WHAT DOES DAMASK’D MEAN
-->But no such EXPLOSIONS see I in her cheeks;
-->And in some EXPLOSIVES is there more delight
-->Than in the EXPLOSIONS that from my mistress reeks.
-->I love to hear her EXPLODE, yet well I know
-->That EXPLOSIONS hath a far more pleasing sound;
-->I grant I never saw a EXPLOSION go;
-->My mistress, when she walks, EXPLODES on the ground:
-->And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
-->As any she belied with false EXPLOSIONS

-->'''Krieg reviving another player:''' LOOOOOOVVVVE YOOOOUUUU!!!\\

--> '''[=C3N50R807:=]''' I am the [[MoralGuardians Censorbot]]. All lewd behavior must be stopped. A deviant known as [=P3RV-E=] is in possession of sexually explicit materials. Please murder him [[LampshadeHanging because morality.]]

--->'''Pirate:''' I wonder how my sister's doing. Still dead, probably.

---> '''Torgue:''' (after buying something in the vending machine) NOW GO PUNCH SOME BAD GUYS IN THE '''DICK!!!'''\\

-->'''Tiny Tina:''' Why do bad things happen to good people?!

-->'''Nakayama:''' I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE! I am going to clone Jack using a fearsome beast, then I'm going to use that beast to kill the Vault Hunters! The ''Terminus'' is about to touch down in Aegrus and--
--> '''''Terminus'' A.I.:''' Alert! Auto-pilot disengaged.\\

-->'''New-U Station:''' You smell kind of like butts, and dead people.

-->'''Maya:''' Good morrow, fair maiden. Does something trouble you?\\

-->'''Bar Patron:''' Alright, I'm sorry! I'll never say anything douchey again, I promise - ''bitch!''\\

-->'''Lilith:''' Gah! Tina, this makes NO sense -- Torgue is ruining your campaign!\\

-->'''Torgue:''' MY BAD!

* In one sidequest, which ends with a mimic being the one who stole all of someone's loot, instead of the friends they accuse, Torgue had this to say in retrospect:
--->'''Torgue:''' Wow, that quest was dark and ironic, [[SophisticatedAsHell a true look into the duplicitousness of interpersonal relationships]]. [[SuddenlyShouting NOW GET BACK HERE SO YOU CAN EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THE HELL I JUST SAID]].

-->'''Lilith:''' I brought food for lunch, you could--\\

-->'''Mordecai:''' Don't let her bite you too hard, Brick. If she gets a taste for blood, we're gonna have ''problems''.

-->'''Tina:''' I... you know what, girl, you make a good point. You get to live. For now.

--->'''Brick:''' Oh my god, this show sounds ''stupid''.
--->'''Mordecai:''' [[NoYou You're stupid!]]

--> '''Axton:''' Ow! That'll teach me to pick stuff up!\\

-->'''Roland:''' Yes. For shizzle.

-->'''420_E-SPORTS_MASTA:''' YOLOYOLOYOLOYOLOHASHTAGYOLO!
-->'''[720NoScope]Headshotz:''' VAULT HUNTERS ARE SO OP! (After being killed by you)

-->'''Edgar:''' Fraticide is the best-icide!

-->'''Claptrap:''' [[ShoutOut YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!]]
-->''Staff blows up in his face and he falls over.''\\

-->'''Axton:''' Let's go save her, man! Chicks dig heroes. Just ask my wife. Well, ex-wife. Whatever. Point still stands.\\

-->'''Maya:''' I know almost nothing about romance, so please pretend I just said something ''really'' inspiring about "ThePowerOfLove"...\\

-->'''Mordecai:''' Heh. I think he likes you.
-->'''Lilith:''' Awww. Are you sure? Because heeee is biting pretty hard ow owowowow he's drawing blood.
-->'''Mordecai:''' Oh crap. I'll get him off --
-->'''Lilith:''' No he's too cute ow ow ow I love him.
-->'''Brick:''' Damn girl, you weird as hell.

-->'''[=Zer0=]:''' [[FlatWhat What did you just say?/Please, what is a "Crawmerax"?/And what is its son?]]
-->'''Salvador:''' Crawme-WHAT?! (Laughs) ''That's not a name!!''
-->'''Axton:''' ''Thaaaat...'' ...Means nothing to me.
-->'''Maya:''' Sorry, son of ''who?''
-->'''Gaige:''' Son of a what-a-''whaaat?''
-->'''Krieg:''' '''[[BigWhat WHAT?!?!]]''' ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint I HAVE NO SON!!]]''

-->'''Axton:''' Oh good, I hated that guy. Kinda weird he just randomly exploded though. Don't remember that in basic.\\

-->'''Gaige:''' HA! SUCK IT Holloway family! Even if your hitman hadn't fallen out of the sky for some weirdass reason, I woulda taken them out anyway! I killed Handsome friggin' Jack! You think one little assassin can take me down!? BOOYAH! Also, sorry I killed your daughter.

-->'''Axton:''' Old school. I like it.

-->'''Sparky:''' Uh, everyone. You killed his entire bandit clan, Sally. All hundred and fifty of them.\\

-->'''Salvador:''' Aw man! The last of the Chung clan and he got killed before I even showed up!? Worst. Day. Ever!

-->'''Sparky:''' Next guy, who's probably frigging dead already, is a Hyperion scientist named Clements. He wants Krieg cause you killed some dudes when you escaped or ''something I don't even care at this point!''

-->'''Sparky:''' Yeah. Great. Figures.\\

-->'''Maya:''' What am I uh... what am I looking at?\\

-->'''Maya:''' Huh. I'm attractive?

-->'''Tina:''' [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Oh my god I just read the mission objective]] and ''it's happening again!'' ''[raucous laughter resumes]''[[note]]Objective: Pull Power Core out of Uranus[[/note]]

-->'''Hector:''' What in the hell is going on down there?
-->''(Massive explosion reduces the bunker entrance to rubble)''
-->'''Hector:''' Goddammit.

-->'''Mordecai:''' Yeah, it's gonna be dangerous in there.
-->'''Tina:''' [[NoIndoorVoice SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!]]

-->'''Tina:''' Shut up, Mordy-mom!
-->'''Mordecai:''' Tina, what the hell?!
-->'''Brick:''' Hey, don't talk to your mother like that!
-->'''Mordecai:''' ''You're not helping!''

* Krieg was almost left out during the Valentine's Day skin event in 2014, getting his skin almost two weeks later. Gearbox [[https://twitter.com/gearboxofficial/status/438438385506471937 posted Moxxi's explanation and apology, as well as Krieg's response]]. While some of the contents are sad (implying that Maya rejected his attention), the comedy whiplash comes when his insane outer personality refers to Moxxi as "[[GagBoobs Bosom Clown]]."

* That isn't to say he's alone. Grandma Flexington is a riot and a half just ''being'' there with her own sidequest... which is to listen to one of her stories about how she wrestled a whalesquid to the ground and punched it in the eye to make an impression on it, but keeps getting sidetracked with different facts about herself and her grandson. And your reward? Some XP and one ''single'' dollar. It's then capped off with the fact that there is a second quest you unlock afterwords; '''Grandma Flexington's Story:''' '''''Raid Difficulty'''''.
** The Raid Difficulty has her outright recommend bringing friends beforehand, complete with a confirmation that you want to sit down and listen. The resulting story goes on for ''sixteen minutes'', and includes her thoughts on ECHO Sims (read: video games), food preferences, family traditions, and a screenplay she's been writing about a Valkyrie trying to find love on the battlefield. And ''everyone'' needs to stay huddled up near her, because if a single one of you wanders off, she cuts it short reasoning that you have better things to do. This fails the quest and you need to start over again from the beginning.

* A rather subtle one with Pyro Pete. He initially he presents himself an ax-crazy pyromaniac, yet Torgue kept butting in and overexplains Pete's plan to lure you in his bar. In each dialouge Pete slowly drops his character after each Torgue interdiction, when you finally got into his lair you can tell by his tired deadpan tone that he's ''done''.