!!The book:
* Guppy's proposal. "My present salary is so many pounds a week, my mother possesses a small annuity ... in short, Miss Summerson, I adore you!"

!!The 2005 series:
* The RunningGag of Mr. Smallweed wanting to be "stitched up".
* Mr. Smallweed coming to Sergeant George's and threatening to have George evicted. George simply [[OhCrap picks up a pistol]], and [[ScrewThisImOutOfHere Smallweed leaves in a hurry]]. Becomes a bit of a FunnyAneurysmMoment after [[spoiler: Tulkinghorn's murder; Smallweed uses this incident to accuse George of being the murderer.]]
* After [[spoiler: Tulkinghorn]]'s murder, Mr. Smallweed comes to see him, not realising he's dead, and meets Inspector Bucket. Then he sees the corpse.
--> '''Smallweed:''' Oh lord. Oh my eye. [[CaptainObvious He don't look well]].
--> '''Bucket:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Nor would you if you'd been shot through the heart]].
--> '''Smallweed:''' I know who done this. [...] What's [framing [[spoiler: George]]] worth?
--> '''Bucket:''' Three years hard labour for withholding evidence, my friend.
* Shortly after this, Bucket has a policeman come and take Smallweed away.
--> '''Smallweed:''' [[CatchPhrase Oh my bones and sockets]]! Have a care, you brimstone black people, or I'll have the law on you!
--> '''Bucket:''' ...We ''are'' the law, Mr. Smallweed.
* After Esther refuses Mr. Guppy's second proposal, Mrs. Guppy throws a fit and yells at Esther and Mr. Jarndyce to GetOut. Mr. Jarndyce points out that it's hardly reasonable for her to order them out of ''their own rooms''.
** Both of Guppy's proposals are hilarious from start to finish. The second one is especially so, since it takes place in front of Mr. Jarndyce... who is engaged to Esther at the time. The look he gives Guppy is ''priceless''.