Any time the narrator snarks.
"And then the Kid fell to his death."
(Kid immediately falls back onto the play area)
"Naw, I'm just foolin'."
- If you click on the bull statue 4 times to turn it in a full circle:
"Turn him round and round all you like; Pyth is still gonna be ugly."
- "Kid just rages for a while..."
- Basically any time he hangs a lampshade on most players' tendency to break EVERYTHING.
- "Know how many times The Kid nearly fell off that barge?... not even once."
- "He cuts down every Stabweed like there's going to be a prize for it."
- Upon equipping both the Mortar and the Calamity Cannon:
"Now that's just overkill. I mean really — come on."
- If you upgrade the Calamity Cannon:
"Take my word for it: don't ever drop one of those things."
- Upon falling off of the Bastion:
"I've been meaning to put some guard rails there."
- There are some unused audio files in the game that are actually pretty funny. Link
This microphone smells funny.
You find that old boat? Plant it.
You find a rusty, old pocket watch? Plant it.
Find a copy of Terminator2
on laserdisk? Plant it.
You find a pair of socks? Plant it.
You find a Milli Vanilli casette tape? Plant it.
- Upon equipping the Fire Bellows and the War Machete:
"We could have ourselves a mighty fine cookout with those items. Too bad that's not what we're doing."
"Cook em and Stick em... or the other way around. Makes no difference."
- Hammer repeatedly and desperately on the door to the outhouse: