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Funny: And Another Thing...
  • The Guide entry on toadstool mandarins and their effect on people.
    Toadstool mandarins are a form of toxic jellyfish whose tentacles are loaded with entheogenic venom. The effects of a mandarin sting are threefold. The first is a sharp stinging sensation; the second a nasty red welt, which may fester if not treated with a salve of toadstool mandarin doo-doo. And the third is a bolt of self-awareness, thanks to the entheogens in the venom. Having been stung, a victim's typical reaction will be something like:
    Owww. Zark, that hurts.
    Then:
    Oh no. Look at this nasty red welt. I'm in the swimsuit competition later.
    And finally:
    What? I'm a latent misogynist with father issues!
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