History Film / MenDontTell

* AllTakeAndNoGive: Laura's relationship with Ed devolves into this, expecting him to constantly spend time with her, unwilling to compromise when he has other plans and is never satisfied when he does give everything he got. Ed even tells her this is one of the reasons why they can't be together anymore.

* GenreDeconstruction: For the typical domestic abuse drama. Instead of the husband doing the beating its the other way around.

* WouldntHitAGirl: No matter how many times Ed is physically and verbally abused (which unfortunately lasted for years), not once did he ever raised his fist at Laura even when she deserved it. At worst, he tries to restrain her so she wouldn't attack him or their daughter. This also became a BerserkButton for him when the police investigators keep insisting ''he's'' the one who is beating their spouse.
* WouldHurtAChild: Laura, who hit her own daughter when she asked her to stop yelling at Ed. The incident was enough to push [[PapaWolf Ed]], who was mostly passive up to this point, to try and restrain her. Her struggling led them through a window, where she got a concussion. The event also made the daughter turn against her and saves her father by telling the police everything, meaning that Laura gets arrested.

** It is revealed that Laura's mother was to her and her siblings when she smacked them as a form of discipline and encourages Laura to do the same with her children.

%%[[caption-width-right:310:some caption text]]

->'''Ed:''' Laurie, I loved you. There's a part of me that will always love you but no matter how much I try to love you, it was never enough. No matter how much I try to give you, it was never enough. I try...I try and I can't do it anymore...

%%* LaserGuidedKarma:
%%* MistakenForCheating:
%%*

->'''Ed:''' Well I'm here now aren't I? I'm doing the best I can.
-> '''Laura:''' Well it's not '''''GOOD ENOUGH!''''' [[[SweepingTheTable Sweeps stuff off the kitchen countertop]] in a fit of rage]
->'''Ed:''' THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
-> '''Laura:''' (In an accusatory tone) Look what you made me do...

**

* ShowerOfAngst: showing all the bruises over his body sustained

* BigBad: Laura, Ed's [[DomesticAbuse abusive wife]], is the antagonist of the film, as the film is about their dysfunctional relationship and his ([[NoSympathy often failed]], due to being a male abuse victim) attempts to get help.

%%* {{Bookends}}

* DoubleStandardAbuseFemaleOnMale: [[Main/{{Deconstruction}} Deconstructed]]. The film shows the negative effects it has on the husband being abused.
* EarnYourHappyEnding: Ed is released after it's revealed that he was telling the truth about Laura being abusive to him and their daughter and, as an added bonus, Laura will face comeuppance for her behavior.
* {{Foreshadowing}}: While the build-up to the first incident sets up Ed as the RedHerring by piling on every movie abusive husband cliché they can on Ed, it does a good job at showing Laura as the problem person if you know about real domestic violence dynamics:
** It shows early on that Laura is TheAlcoholic, a very common trait real among domestic abusers.
** As if Laura being TheAlcoholic wasn't enough of a dead giveaway, she shows severe resentment towards Ed without an explicit cause for it. Domestic abusers are often TheResenter for real or perceived slights.

* NeverMyFault: No matter how badly Laura acts or how violent she gets, she constantly makes excuses for her behavior, declaring that there's nothing wrong with her, and placing the blame for her actions on others.

* PapaWolf: Laura punches Ed in the face? He is shocked, but barely acknowledges it. She busts his truck? It can be fixed. She pummels him in a drunken/jealous rage? He tries to push her away. But when she punched their daughter, that's when Ed reacted at his most brutal, and even then, he was only trying to restrain her... But her struggle leads them to go through a window, where Laura got a concussion and Ed got cuts from the glass.

* SoftGlass: Averted. Laura gets a concussion from going headfirst through a glass window.

* WouldntHitAGirl: No matter how many times Ed is physically and verbally abused (which unfortunately lasted for years), not once did he ever raised his fist at Laura. At worst, he tries to restrain her so she wouldn't attack him or their daughter. This also became a BerserkButton for him when the police investigators keep insisting ''he's'' the one who is beating their spouse.

As he is interrogated, he tells his story of years of abuse, and how he even once sought help by calling a domestic violence hotline, only to get scorned and hung up on. This interrogation takes all night, by highly skeptical police. While this is going on, his children have been taken to their paternal grandfather Jack-himself a retired police officer-to spend the night. In the morning, his young daughter Cindy, who chose to remain silent through the years of abuse due to the humiliation and shame, asked Jack if her mother was in trouble. This surprised Jack, who then asked her why she thought her mother, whom he thought was the victim of his abusive son, would be in trouble? To this, Cindy said, "For being so mean to Daddy all the time, and yelling, and breaking things, and hitting us and stuff". When this is brought to the attention of the police, Ed is finally let go while Laura is arrested.

!!!This film contains examples of:

* LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek: One of the extremely rare {{Gender Flip}}s; here, it's the Hero who's aggrieved and fighting for empowerment against the Evil Abusive Wife.
* MenAreTheExpendableGender: {{Subverted|Trope}}. Everyone, even Ed's own father, assume that Ed was in the wrong and Laura was the victim, when it was the other way around.

* PapaWolf: Laura punches Ed in the face? He is shocked, but barely acknowledges it. She busts his truck? It can be fixed. She pummels him? He tries to push her away. But when she punched their daughter, that's when Ed reacted at his most brutal, and even then, he was only trying to restrain her... But her struggling lead them to go through a window, where Laura got a concussion and Ed got cuts from the glass.
* TheResenter: Laura. Every incident is precipitated by her resenting Ed for a perceived slight, from Ed helping at a Christmas party for charity so that he could leave fliers (One person helping organizing it is a young attractive woman, and Laura came to the conclusion he was cheating on her), to him playing poker with his business partners one night a month (which we see on screen brings him business when Ed and Laura struggle with money, but she sees that as him prioritizing his selfish amusement over her...)...
* SoftGlass: Averted. Laura gets a concussion from going head first through a glass window.

* UnderageCasting: Ed's father is played by James Gammon, who was only seven years older than Peter Strauss in real life.

''Men Don't Tell'' is a 1993 television drama film starring Peter Strauss and Judith Light. It was directed by Harry Winer. The film first aired on the Creator/{{CBS}} network on March 14, 1993, though it was never rebroadcast on over-the-air television, reportedly because it incurred the wrath of several women's groups. However, the film has since been shown a number of times on Creator/{{Lifetime}}.

* WhamLine: At the end of the film, when Laura and Ed run inyo each other at the latter's best friend's wedding, Laura asks what he's going to tell people about why they split; after a long pause, Ed responds "the truth" and walks away.

As he is interrogated, he tells his story of years of abuse, and how he even once sought help by calling a domestic violence hotline, only to get scorned and hung up on. This interrogation takes all night, by highly skeptical police. While this is going on, his children have been taken to their paternal grandfather-himself a retired police officer-to spend the night. In the morning his young daughter, who chose to remain silent through the years of abuse due to the humiliation and shame, asked the grandfather if her mother was in trouble. This surprised the grandfather, who then asked her why she thought her mother, whom he thought was the victim of his abusive son, would be in trouble? To this she said, "Because mommy hits daddy". When this is brought to the attention of the police, Ed is finally let go while Laura is arrested.

Ed [=MacAffrey=], a loving husband and father, is terrorized by the violent behavior of his wife, Laura. He tolerates this not only because he loves her and is concerned over the welfare of his daughter, but also because men are traditionally regarded as weaklings if they allow themselves to be battered by their wives. After one of Laura's destructive tantrums brings the attention of the police, Ed is suspected of being the aggressor. Finally, Laura goes too far and Ed tries to defend himself - whereupon Laura crashes through the front window of her home and is rendered comatose. Ed is arrested for domestic violence and attempted murder.

* {{Irony}}: Ed wears a type of sleeveless shirt known as a "wife-beater".
* LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek: One of the extremely rare {{Gender Flip}}s; here, it's the Hero who's aggrieved and fighting for empowerment.

* NeverMyFault: Laura. Like you can't believe. No matter how badly she acts or how violent she gets, she constantly makes excuses for her behavior, declaring that there's nothing wrong with her, and placing the blame for her actions on others.

* TheUnfairSex: PlayedForDrama and ultimately [[Main/{{Deconstruction}} Deconstructed]]. Ed is arrested by the police and faces some serious jail time (and possibly losing custody of his daughter) because everyone assumes that he was the domestic abuser.
* TruthInTelevision: Unfortunately, this type of domestic abuse does happen, and is sometimes met with just this much of an unhelpful response.

* GenreDeconstruction: For the typical domestic abuse drama. Instead of the husband doing the beating its the other way around.

* WouldHurtAChild: Laura, who hit her own daughter when she asked her to stop yelling at Ed. The incident was enough to push [[PapaWolf Ed]], who was mostly passive up to this point, to try and restrain her. Her struggling lead them through a window where she got a concussion. The event also made the daughter turn against her and saves her father by telling the police everything meaning that Laura gets arrested.