History Fanfic / TheComedyofRomeoandJuliet

Creator/WilliamShakespeare's Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet rewritten as a comedy, the first in a series of retooled Shakespeare plays by Tropers/{{Shrikecatcher}}.

%%* CatchPhrase

--> [[FridgeBrilliance Suddenly, Sampson's "dog of the house of Montague" comment from the very first scene is beginning to make a lot more sense, isn't it? I hope your mind = blown]].

ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. Creator/WilliamShakespeare's Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet rewritten as a comedy, the first in a series of retooled Shakespeare plays by Tropers/{{Shrikecatcher}}.

* AnachronismStew: Used deliberately per RuleOfFunny.
* AssShove: Friar Lawrence pulls a shotgun out of his ass and kills Balthasar with it in the last act simply because the latter proves more entertaining than him.
* BettyAndVeronica: Or Paris and Romeo, in this case.
* BileFascination: Subverted in-universe with Capulet; he considers flops like ''Film/{{Gigli}}'', ''Film/KangarooJack'' and ''[[Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg Epic Movie]]'' to be cinematic classics. Everyone else knows better.
* BloodyHilarious
* BreakingTheFourthWall: Frequently.
* BrickJoke

* CatchPhrase
* ChekhovsGunman: Balthasar.
* CurseCutShort: Until [[PrecisionFStrike the last act]], nobody can say the f-word because it always ends up getting [[SoundEffectBleep drowned out by loud noises]].
* DeathByDespair: Lady Montague.
* TheDitz: Juliet.
* DrivenToSuicide: Romeo and Juliet, of course.
* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: The Music/{{Prince}} and the Nurse.
* FauxDeath: Juliet.

* FeudingFamilies: The Capulets and the Montagues, of course.
* FirstPersonSmartass: Benvolio, our narrator.

* FootnoteFever: Act III, Scene iii: Look, a footnote!
** And Act IV, Scene iv:

* ForegoneConclusion: Romeo and Juliet are going to die.
* Music/{{Garbage}}: At the costume party, they (dressed as Film/TheCheetahGirls) perform their hit "[[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic #1 Crush]]" (from Film/WilliamShakespearesRomeoAndJuliet).
* TheGhost: Rosaline.

* GroinAttack

* HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood

* ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice: After Mercutio reveals he is gay (and dies), a furious Romeo impales Tybalt on his [[AnachronismStew motorcycle]] and twists his innards around the blade before [[OffWithHisHead decapitating him]]. And then Romeo slices the head in two. ''By using it as a baseball and the sword as a bat.''
* LampshadeHanging
* MajorInjuryUnderreaction: Mercutio after having his arm cut off by Tybalt.
* MasqueradeBall: And at this costume party, everyone is dressed up as something else.
* TheMoreYouKnow: A RunningGag, combined with CaptainObvious.
* OfCorsetHurts: The outfit the Nurse dresses Juliet in after Lady Capulet barges in post wedding-consummation. PlayedForLaughs.
* OffWithHisHead: Poor Tybalt.
* OnlyAFleshWound
* PluckyGirl: Juliet.
* PoorCommunicationKills

* RapidFireComedy
* RomanticFalseLead: Paris.
* RuleOfFunny
* RunningGag: ''Tons.''
* SecretRelationship
* SelectiveObliviousness: Pretty much everyone.
* SerialRomeo
* SassyBlackWoman: The Nurse.

* SoulBrotha: Friar Lawrence.

* Music/SpiceGirls: They make a cameo in Act IV while the Capulets are preparing for the wedding.
--> '''Paris:''' ''(reacting to Juliet's apparent death)'' What do we do with her body?
--> '''Spice Girls:''' Slam her body down and wind it all around!
--> '''Capulet:''' Are they licensed medical practitioners?
* StarCrossedLovers
* TheStoner: Friar Lawrence.
* StopBeingStereotypical: Lady Capulet's reaction to the Nurse, and later, Romeo to Friar Lawrence.
* TagTeamSuicide
* ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill: Any of the deaths, really.
* ThisIsForEmphasisBitch: The Nurse, and to a lesser extent, Friar Lawrence.
* ThoseTwoGuys: Two stoner teenagers who hang out and get high with Friar Lawrence at the church.
* TogetherInDeath: Romeo and Juliet.
* TooDumbToLive: Everybody.
* UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom: Balthasar.
* WhereDaWhiteWomenAt: Friar Lawrence.

* ItIsPronouncedTroPAY: The costume party is referred to as a par-tay.
--> We were par-taying at the par-tay, almost to the point of adding a second hyphen, when we bumped into a drunk Master Capulet.

* CaptainErsatz: No, Mercutio isn't dressed as DonaldDuck for the costume party, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial what are you talking about?]]

* FunnyAfro: Benvolio, and also Tybalt, who are [[TheRival rivals]] in this regard.

* SuddenlySexuality: Mercutio unceremoniously reveals that he is gay after having his arm lopped off by Tybalt and dying in Romeo's arms. Romeo's actually fine with this, until Mercutio reminds him that this is [[RunningGag fourteenth-century Europe]]. The ValuesDissonance sets in, and Romeo delivers the killing [[IncrediblyLamePun blows]].

--> '''Spice Girls:''' [[EarWorm Slam her body down and wind it all around]]!

* Music/{{Garbage}}: At the costume party, they (dressed as Film/TheCheetahGirls) perform their hit "[[CrowningMusicOfAwesome #1 Crush]]" (from Film/WilliamShakespearesRomeoAndJuliet).

* BileFascination: Subverted in-universe with Capulet; he considers flops like Film/''{{Gigli}}'', ''Film/KangarooJack'' and ''[[Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg Epic Movie]]'' to be cinematic classics. Everyone else knows better.

* BileFascination: Subverted in-universe with Capulet; he considers flops like ''{{Gigli}}'', ''Film/KangarooJack'' and ''[[Main/SeltzerAndFriedberg Epic Movie]]'' to be cinematic classics. Everyone else knows better.

* BreakingTheFourthWall

* CaptainErsatz: No, Mercutio isn't dressed as DonaldDuck for the costume party, what are you talking about?

--> "[[WaltDisney Walt]] is inside, he'll be the judge of that." He opened the front door for Mercutio, and through it we all saw the partygoers going at it at the party.

* Music/{{Garbage}}: At the costume party, they (dressed as Film/TheCheetahGirls) perform their hit "[[CrowningMusicOfAwesome #1 Crush]]" (from WilliamShakespearesRomeoAndJuliet).

* RomanticFalseLead : Paris.

* SeriousBusiness

--> '''Paris:''' ''(reacting to Juliet's apparent death)'' "hat do we do with her body?

* EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep: The {{Prince}} and the Nurse.

* CurseCutShort: Until [[PrecisionFStrike the last act]], nobody can say the f-word because it always ends up getting drowned out by loud noises.

* ShoutOut: You'll find them aplenty.

* RefugeInAudacity

* APlagueOnBothYourHouses: Obviously.

* FootnoteFever: Act III, Scene iii: [[labelnote:*]]Look, a footnote![[/labelnote]]

ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. Creator/WilliamShakespeare's RomeoAndJuliet rewritten as a comedy, the first in a series of retooled Shakespeare plays by Tropers/{{Shrikecatcher}}.

* FootnoteFever: Act III, Scene iii: [[hottip: *: Look, a footnote!]]

--> Really, you can go up to your friends right now and call them all "[[SonOfAWhore whoresons]]," and no harm will be done. [[hottip: *: [[CaptainObvious Do not do this]].

* SpiceGirls: They make a cameo in Act IV while the Capulets are preparing for the wedding.
--> '''Paris''' ''(reacting to Juliet's apparent death)'': "What do we do with her body?"
--> '''SpiceGirls''': "[[EarWorm Slam her body down and wind it all around]]!"
--> '''Capulet''': "Are they licensed medical practitioners?"

* WhereDaWhiteWomenAt: Friar Lawrence.

ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. WilliamShakespeare's RomeoAndJuliet rewritten as a comedy, the first in a series of retooled Shakespeare plays by Tropers/{{Shrikecatcher}}.

--> [[MoodWhiplash Nearby, someone on the drums made a]] RimShot [[BrickJoke and cymbal crash]].

* {{Music/Garbage}}: At the costume party, they (dressed as Film/TheCheetahGirls) perform their hit "[[CrowningMusicOfAwesome #1 Crush]]" (from WilliamShakespearesRomeoAndJuliet).

* TheImmodestOrgasm: While Juliet is getting it on with Romeo upstairs, Capulet, his wife and Paris think that's the sound of her weeping over Tybalt's death.

--> We were par-taying at the par-tay, almost to the point of adding a second hyphen, when we bumped into a drunk Master Capulet.

* BileFascination: Subverted in-universe with Capulet; he considers flops like ''{{Gigli}}'', ''Film/KangarooJack'' and ''EpicMovie'' to be cinematic classics. Everyone else knows better.

--> Really, you can go up to your friends right now and call them all "[[SonOfAWhore whoresons]]," and no harm will be done. [[hottip: *: [[CaptainObvious Do not do this]].]]

* {{Garbage}}: At the costume party, they (dressed as Film/TheCheetahGirls) perform their hit "[[CrowningMusicOfAwesome #1 Crush]]" (from WilliamShakespearesRomeoAndJuliet).

* BileFascination: Subverted in-universe with Capulet; he considers flops like {{Gigli}}, KangarooJack and EpicMovie to be cinematic classics. Everyone else knows better.

* SwissMessenger: Balthasar.