Ina says something she's cooking is "fabulous" or that her guests are "going to go crazy" over it.
Anytime Ina informs you that she is going to "turn up the volume" on some traditional dish, take a gulp. You will be wasted pretty quick if Food Network is showing back-to-back episodes.
Ina says, "How bad can that be?" or "Gentlemen, start your spoons/forks."
Ina mentions that saffron comes from the stamens of crocuses.
Drain your drink if Ina DOESN'T say this while using saffron.
Ina mentions something about Paris or France.
Ina name drops someone she's going to be entertaining or has entertained or just knows, period.
Ina goes on about a particular wine.
Ina talks about sending Jeffrey brownies in a shoe box when he was away at college.
One of Ina's guests says something effusively complimentary about Ina's cooking.
Miguel is a guest and he creates an over-the-top tablescape that puts Sandra Lee to shame.
Drain your drink if he DOESN'T do this.
T.R. is a guest and Ina flirts with him. Take one sip per flirtation.
The "card sharks" are guests and you see almost stereotypically effeminate behavior from one of them.
Drain your drink if Ina DOESN'T have an almost stereotypically effeminate male guest over (and Jeffrey doesn't count). (This has the potential of being fatal in the episode with the auction winners who won a dinner with Ina.)
Jeffrey says that whatever he's eating is "the best [x] I've ever had".
Ina cuts into a piece of beef and it looks bloody and barely cooked.
Double that if she cuts into a piece of chicken or pork and it looks undercooked.
Ina attempts to cook something aside from French, Italian, or 1950s northern American cooking and gets it completely wrong.
Double that if it's something Mexican or Thai and it's completely wrong because she doesn't put cilantro in the dish.
Drain your drink if she actually gets it RIGHT.
Take a drink if she tells you to use the good ingredients (e.g. the good vanilla, good wine).