[[caption-width-right:350:''[-"Je suis un travesti executif... un travesti d'action!"-]'']]

->''"So... uh... I'd better explain the tits. Um... didn't have those at school. Wanted to, but not in the school curriculum, even though I asked."''

[[VerbalTic So, uh... yeah]]. So! Eddie Izzard! Born Edward John Izzard on February 7, 1962, he's a British stand-up comedian and actor, notable for his style of rambling, free-associating monologues with pantomimic sketches, with ConversationalTroping by the fistful should he veer onto the subjects of TV and cinema (which he will) and even uses Wiki/{{Wikipedia}} to do his research. He is known for being an "action!" [[{{Crossdresser}} Transvestite]] (or, if you prefer, Executive Transvestite) as well his numerous, various roles in film and TV.

He's one of the few comedians who can perform in multiple languages: ''starting as bit parts about learning European languages (like Latin), he has gone on to do entire gigs in French and German. He's even done Labour Party gigs. As for his acting career, Izzard has appeared in several movies and theatre productions, and has covered a wide range of both serious and eccentric roles (several of which are [[EvilBrit supervillains]]). As with most comedians, you can expect to spot him [[TheCameo here and there]] -- some of his most notable roles in the past decade cover [[Film/OceansEleven master thief]], [[Film/{{Valkyrie}} Nazi defector]], [[Series/{{Hannibal}} serial killer]] and... a [[Film/{{Cars2}} talking car]]. And a [[Film/PrinceCaspian talking mouse]] too.

On 27 July 2009, Izzard began a [[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8256589.stm seven week mega-marathon run]] around the UK to raise money for Sport Relief. He had never done any serious running until the month before. He ran six days a week for 51 days, covering at least 27 miles per day, carrying a flag for each county in which he ran[[note]]although he used a custom designed "peace" flag while in Northern Ireland to avoid causing offense to either side of [[UsefulNotes/TheTroubles the conflict]][[/note]], from London to Cardiff to Belfast to Edinburgh and back to London. He completed his 1,110 mile run on 15 September 2009 at Potters Bay ''and rescued a kitten along the way''. Izzard was 47 years old at the time, and had completed his first marathon just three months before. In 2016 he ran 27 marathons in 27 days in South Africa, in tribute to Nelson Mandela (one marathon for each of his years in prison). More recently, Eddie has been aiming to finally perform his twenty-seven marathons across Africa for Sport Relief, doing so despite being fifty-four.

He has come out publically as being {{transgender}} as well as being a transvestite, citing that it goes beyond his clothing preference and that [[AmbiguousGender he doesn't feel black and white about his gender]]. He has expressed an interest in running for Mayor of London in the [[http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/shortcuts/2013/may/14/eddie-izzard-mayor-of-london 2020 city elections]] too.

This man is so highly thought of as a comedian and performer that Thy Lord the Comedy God Himself, Creator/JohnCleese, described him as the "Lost Python" (Izzard hosted a documentary and appeared with the remaining members of the troupe on BBC Two for their 30th anniversary). Eddie's most recent show ''Force Majeure'' was successful enough to continue across five continents - despite starting in 2013, and having the show released on home video while still touring, he still continued to sell out venues, playing dates in the USA up until July of the following year.

!!"Wo ist das Trope, mein Herr? Wo ist das Trope?"

* TwentyPercentMoreAwesome: In one show he promised to be 10% funnier than usual since the show was being recorded. Then he mused on how impossible that was to verify "unless you brought a sort of [[ThingOMeter laughometer]]".
* AllOfThem: Used in the "Trojan Horse" sketch to describe the Greek navy.
* AlliterativeFamily: He jokes that Hannibal (the Carthaginian, not the cannibal) had three brothers named [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hasdrubal_I_of_Carthage Hasdrubal]], [[PunnyName Havaball and Havabanana]]. As it happens, Hasdrubal did have a brother called Hamilcar, but that's not as funny.
* AnachronismStew
* AnimalStereotypes: Played with for [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whwiMrBNWCA Pavlov's Cat]], which is more...creatively uncooperative than [[CatsAreMean actually malevolent]].
* AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: Martin Luther:
-->The Protestant faith was different. That was about Martin Luther, this German guy who pinned a note on a door saying, "'Ang on a minute!" But in German, so, "Ein minuten bitte! Ich haben eine kleine problemo... avec diese religioné." (beat) [[HandWave He was from everywhere]]."
* BackForTheFinale: Weird characters mentioned throughout the show tend to come back at the end for a last comment, especially Mrs. Badcrumble. Lampshaded in "Stripped".
* BilingualBonus: In his most recent tour incarnation, there's a sketch that involves two Roman soldiers speaking in Latin to each other; the "Latin" quickly devolves into a weird mosh of Latin, German, French, and English. In order to prove the superiority of English as a way of avoiding PoorCommunicationKills. "''Mit Elephanten." "Quod. The. Fuck."''
** In ''Dress to Kill'' he does a bit about how he believes that "D'you want a cup of coffee?" is a highly successful pick-up line. Later, he more or less repeats that bit in French, then says "If you don't speak French, by the way, all that was ''fucking funny''." He also, by way of one of his characters, recaps the film ''Film/{{Speed}}'' in French.
* BlackBeltInOrigami: in the show ''Sexie'', he claims to have one in "Sashimi".
-->"If you know sushi, it's [[LampshadeHanging like that]], raw fish, and you [[PunctuatedPounding Fling. Raw fish. At people.]] Salmon! Salmon! Tuna! Salmon! ...Salmon! Tuna! The white one that's horrible! ...And that only gives you about ten seconds of shock where they're going, '[[ConfusionFu What the fuck]]? ...[[AbnormalAmmo This is fish]]!' And when they're in the 'Whaaaa,' you go, [='=]''[[LethalChef Wasabi]]!!''[='=] "
* BlackComedy: "Hi, I'm Crazy Eddie! I put babies on spikes! You want a rack o' babies? We got babies on racks!"
* BrickJoke: Oh so much. He constantly references back to earlier jokes and characters in his routines. In fact, his routines are often just one brick joke after another.
-->"And this is our leader, Mister Dog."
** Even invoked both literally and figuratively -- in one bit, after earlier proposing [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext the Queen fight dogs with a weighted handbag]]:
-->"Fucking handbag! ...With a brick in it! It's the Queen!"
** Sometimes wraps up his routine with every character earlier referenced, bringing together Caesar, Pavlov, Mrs. Badcrumble, Robbie Burns and Noah [[Creator/SeanConnery on a shpeedboat]].
* BuffySpeak: Often used intentionally as well as somewhat unintentionally due to his stream-of-consciousness style.
* CallBack: Extremely frequent; while some are a BrickJoke, most shows have several vague, irrelevant references to earlier that can be extremely confusing [[ItMakesSenseInContext unless you caught it the first time.]]
-->[During the conclusion of Definite Article]\\
'''Mother Nature''': [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Pavlov Pavlov]], what are you doing here?\\
'''Pavlov''': Well, I've been trying to do things and (mumbles) ...banjo. (bell rings) Ooh, Iím hungry now!\\
'''Mother Nature''': Next we have... sheep! Good haircut, by the way [...] You wearing Blakeys? Mouse, what are you doing here?\\
'''Mouse''': [As Creator/RobertBurns (with a Creator/SeanConnery accent)] Well, I've got a space rocket out of jam... It wonít work, but... itís not my best laid plan. I could go aglay... but Mrs. Badcrumble is coming, and Caesar, and the Australian guy...
** Especially so in ''Force Majeure'', where he ends up calling back to a few gags from several years ago. Granted, it works without prior knowledge, but it will be confusing if you don't know [[spoiler:the Death Star catering]] bit from his previous tour.
* ChekhovsGun: Literally! In ''Dress To Kill'' early on he talks about how a kid grabbed a bunch of his grandfather's "arsenal" of weapons and went and shot up his school. Later on he's talking about how much he hates Scooby Doo characters other than Scooby and Shaggy.
--> Scrappy Doo, a magnum... [''pretends to shoot a gun''] ...thank you Grandad.
* TheCoatsAreOff: Spartan sheep shear themselves before a fight in order to invoke this.
* ContinuityNod: His shows always feature little scenes with imaginary characters, who later start to appear in each other's scenes, eventually coming all together in the finale.
** Also, his latest show ''Stripped'' contains references to his earlier shows.
---> Half of you are now laughing, and the other half is going "What the hell is he talking about?"
** Specifically, as of a gig in April 2010, after a CallBack:
---> [after half the audience's insane reaction to "covered with bees"]\\
"If you don't get why they are laughing, I'm not going to explain it to you. Some people are just bee enthusiasts... I'm a bee enthusiast!"
** A massive one occurs in the ''Force Majeure'' show, when he returns to the famous Death Star Canteen skit from ''Circle'', culminating in [[UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny a battle between God and Darth Vader]].
* ConvenienceStoreGiftShopping: The Three Wise Men are forced to do this when Baby J demands birthday presents on top of his Christmas presents.
** "Ahh, Baby J, we bring you 20 cigarettes.... A Diet Coke.... and a SACK OF CHARCOAL!"
** Eddie himself does this in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LrMqyq13eE a YouTube video]].
* CrushingHandshake: He calls this the "[[CompensatingForSomething I've got a small penis]]" handshake.
* {{Determinator}}: [[http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/tv_and_radio/sports_personality_of_the_year/8406078.stm This.]] It's both his moment of awesome and heartwarming in one.
** Also, his documentary, "Believe" falls into this. It is unbelievable how hungry he was to make it big, even at times when he was competing against the likes of Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie.
* {{Dissimile}}: From the documentary following his multi-marathon run around the UK:
-->''Week 2: base camp. It's like Everest but if Everest was really flat...if you took Everest and put it down. So there's none of that up... and there's the snow... no snow... but you're running... Oh forget it.''
* DudeLooksLikeALady: Averted. He wears women's clothing, but doesn't really attempt to "pass". He's just a bloke who happens to be wearing a dress.
-->[Discussing his transvestism]\\
They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes, ''I bought them.''
* EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys: "Le singe est sur la branche!" Originally this was "le singe est dans l'arbre", until someone pointed out that it meant the monkey is ''inside'' the tree.[[note]]Actually, both are grammatically correct, but 100% of French speakers will say "le singe est dans l'arbre" and ''never'' "sur la branche".[[/note]]
* EverythingsBetterWithDinosaurs:
---> "'Raargh! Wuurgh! Larrgh!' Said Jesus, trying to blend in."
* EveryoneLooksSexierIfFrench: Mentioned in one of his sketches in ''Dress To Kill''. According to him, French actors play more "esoteric" characters in American movies: "Hello, my name is Pierre. I come from Paris. I have come to have sex with your family." "Help yourself!"
* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: His latest bad impression of Creator/ChristopherWalken, during his 'Sexie' show, is SoBadItsGood.
* GenreBlindness:
** Wonderfully parodied in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4yrL6rc6bU the bit he did about horror movies]] - "I've got an idea, lets go camping in the [[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace Forest Of Death And Blood]]!" "Hey look, there's something moving in the forest about eight miles off! [[ImGoingForACloserLook I'll just go and check.]]"
** Later he does a strange version of BreakingTheFourthWall; he says that the people in those movies should listen to the music. Normally, he says, people would hear the music and turn back. He mimes going in various directions while humming ominous music. He chooses another direction and starts humming happy music. He chooses that path. Whereas, he says, the people in the movies are just idiots! They're just going along, saying "Fuck off, you cellists!"
* GenreSavvy: He points out that no vampire would be a threat in real life as we're all too genre savvy, and we'd all do sign of the cross, stake through the heart, and then garlic bread.
* AGoodNameForARockBand: "Guns 'n' Banjos"
* HurricaneOfExcuses: "I was dead at the time! I was on the moon! With Steve!"
* IdiotBall: Not by Eddie himself, but from the [[http://http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/tv-radio/tears-are-never-far-from-ruining-the-makeup-of-eddie-izzard-2162947.html Watchdog]] report, courtesy of Anne Robinson. The basis for their report that he was supposedly recycling jokes from one tour to the next, when Eddie had actually just used similar jokes from his '''Dressed to Kill''' tour in his ''Circle'' tour, and the former of which ''hadn't'' been a UK tour but ''had'' seen a DVD release. Never mind the fact that some comedians recycle one joke to make up their entire career, or that musicians have a catalogue of greatest hits, but ''Circle'' had tons of cool stuff that wasn't in ''DTK'', including the debut of ''Jeff Vader - runs the Death Star?''.
* ILikeMyXLikeILikeMyY: Eddie likes his women like he likes his coffee: Hot and strong, and with a spoon in them; or in a plastic cup; or covered in '''BEES!'''
* ImprovisedCross: One of his early stand-up routines has him discussing whether or not a finger-cross would ward off a vampire, which would essentially make Dracula more of an annoyance that a terrifying monster. Also, if your crucifix has been broken and looks more like a T-sign, can you still use it to ward a vampire by holding it with your thumb stuck above it?
* INeedToGoIronMyDog:
-->"My grandmother is on fire."
-->"My cat's exploded."
-->"I was with Steve! On the Moon!"
-->[[SerialEscalation "I was dead at the time!"]]
* IneffectualSympatheticVillain:
** He jokes about how Mussolini said Italians were Fascist, but they really aren't:
-->''Mussolini said, "Right, we're all fascists," but most Italian people are always on scooters going, "Ciao!" ...And they're into football! And life! And they're not fascists. He said, "We're all fascists!" "Uh... All right, ciao!" No helmet on. All those 50's films like ''Film/RomanHoliday''. Everyone's just cool and hangs out.''
** Then there's his Darth Vader. "I am not Mr Stevens! I could kill you with a thought!"
** Dracula and other "low-powered" Vampires. Particularly post chainsaw.
** The Spanish Inquisition as done by the Church of England, which segued into his eventual "Cake or Death?" routine:
--->'''Eddie''': The Spanish Inquisition would've never worked with the Church of England! "Talk, will you! Talk!" "But it[[note]]being tortured[[/note]] really hurts!" "Right, well loosen it up a bit for him..."
* InherentlyFunnyWords: a staple technique. He's particularly fond of the name Jeff.[[note]](Which does seem to be spelled that way, despite the spelling 'Geoff' being more common in the UK, thanks to his pronouncing an audible J somehow.)[[/note]]
** And "jam"
** Jeff, the Roman God of Biscuits!
** And Kenneth.
** Also Azerbaijan.
* InsaneTrollLogic: His show occasionally descends into this. At one point, he "proved" the story of Noah's Ark was false by having giant squid complain about the lack of hand towels. He also claimed that anything which could swim or fly would have gotten away scot-free, and that the world should have been overrun by evil ducks and pilot fish as a result (the pilot fish [[CriticalResearchFailure with the huge teeth and the little light on their forehead]]. [[RuleOfFunny Yes]]).
* ItWillNeverCatchOn: "Jeff Fire, you are never gonna be famous!"
--> Dr. Heimlich: ''No! My name is going to be famous in restaurants!''
* LamePunReaction:
** He once jokes, "I was a very driven boy scout. Driven everywhere, I was." Ironically, the audience laughs, and he then groans at the fact that they actually laughed.
** And then there was King Menelaos, who was a sponge cake.
** And there's the Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason...
** From abshow in Dallas:
-->''And so God created all these animals, but there's no food, so eventually they're all following Him around, saying 'We're hungry!' so God says 'Err ... badgers eat bok choi!' 'No we don't. And it's pak choi.' 'No, it's bok choi! Mandarin!' 'Cantonese.' 'Fine, you eat ... sprouting broccoli.' '[[{{Squick}} Eww]].' 'I see badgers ''can'' be choosers!'" '' Cue [[CollectiveGroan massive audience groan]]. ''"What? You've heard too many pak choi, bok choi, sprouting broccoli, badger creationist jokes this week? Oh yeah, up to here. We're wading through them this Christmas. That old chestnut. Fuck off."''
** From his ''Dress to Kill'' show:
-->''Swindon here. We're monitoring you on our instruments. We've got you on a tuba.'' More [[CollectiveGroan quiet laughter]] -- ''"That should be a bigger laugh for that joke, I think"''.
** One of his earliest jokes, and the origin of his 'jam' catchphrase:
--> "I went out last night had a few jars, then I went to another pub and had a few jars, then I went home and had another few jars. God I've got to stop eating so much jam.Ē
* LampshadeHanging: He does this a lot when the jokes don't get as much laughter as he had expected. This usually gets a much better round of laughter.
** "Oh ho, you fucked up there, mate! No one laughed at that!"
** "Why are Sean Connery and James Mason playing cows? And why does Izzard have to announce his impressions before he does them?"
** "Oh, I've got your scythe! Very sorry...it was a mime problem, I think."
** "Sporadic laugh, that was! It's like I've gone in and removed some of your entrails!"
** [mimes taking note on hand] "Should be funnier."
** [small amount of laughter] "Please, don't laugh too much."
** "And as the audience worked that joke out..."
** "Good comedy situation, ''I'' thought!"
* LeftItIn: This trope is practically a catchphrase of his, saying "We'll cut that out" usually once per show.
-->'''"Baby Jesus"''': Sack of charcoal?\\
'''Eddie''': They've always got them at petrol stations. Yes, very funny gag, in England and France. Not in America, it goes down like a lead balloon.\\
'''"Baby Jesus"''': What, don't they have sacks of charcoal at late-night-\\
'''Eddie''': No, they don't have it, it's a different thing.\\
'''"Baby Jesus"''': So did you cut it out of the show?\\
'''Eddie''': No, kept it in, couldn't be buggered.
* LookBehindYou: "Oh, look over there, a badger with a gun!"
** [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext (Impersonating a beekeeper)]] "Look over there, there's a Ferrari! Can you see it? Yes, it's going very fast!"
* {{Metaphorgotten}}: "[[ILikeMyXLikeILikeMyY I like my women how I like my coffee]]... COVERED IN BEES!"
** "...hot, and strong. ...With a spoon in 'em."
** "...in a plastic cup."
** "They say that Britain and America are two countries separated by the... Atlantic Ocean. And that's ''true''."
** "...SeparatedByACommonLanguage, and a lot of fish. Which is true, we do have a lot of fish between us."
** "Guns don't kill people, people kill people. But monkeys do too (if they've got a gun)."
*** "Guns don't kill people, people do. But you know, I think the gun ''helps'', you know?"
*** "No, ''bullets'' kill people, actually."
*** "It's the bullet ripping through the body! ''That's'' what kills them! Huh!"
** "Like the National Rifle Association says, 'It's not guns that kill people - it's maneouvres.'"
*** "It's just that certain noise they make."
* MetaphorIsMyMiddleName: From the introduction bit to his Glorious concert DVD "Danger ''could'' be my middle name... But it's John."
* AMillionIsAStatistic: He talks about this in regards to all the people killed by mass murderers, and how the public tends to be less affected by higher death tolls (this eventually segues into his "Cake or Death?" monologue)
-->'''Eddie''': Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going..."Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning!"
* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: Spartan ninja sheep.
* NoEnding: His early shows tend to abruptly cut off when he runs out of material. Lampshaded in "Dress to Kill": "I do like to end a show with that kind of '...oh.' feeling." Later shows instead have all the characters he's mentioned previously come BackForTheFinale.
* {{Omniglot}}: It's not uncommon for his routines to stray into foreign languages. Especially of note as, not only can Eddie speak Latin, but he is fluent enough in French and German that he performs non-English routines when touring Europe.
--> "Je dois partir maintenant parce que ma grand-mère est ''flambée''..."
* OrSoIHeard:
--> In the old days [of the internet], [[TheInternetIsForPorn porn]] would take forever to download, do you remember that? ...friends tell me. [[EscalatingPunchline ...friends who can spell "porn."]]
* OurSloganIsTerrible:
-->There was a big advertising campaign that said "Buy ''Mr. Dog'' for small yappy-type dogs, and maybe they'll shut the fuck up."
* OverlyLongGag: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o78MkSWe8Mw&feature=related Engelbert Humperdinck's dead]]. Or is he? No, he's fine. Or is he?
* ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish: "The guy who made the software was called [[RunningGag Jeff Jeffty Jeff]]. Born on the first of Jeff, nineteen-jeffty-jeff."
* PercussiveMaintenance: "And you SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!"
** "MAKE the NOISE! I LIVE for the NOISE!"
*** Which was in relation to osteopathy. So, percussive maintenance of the ''spine''. Ouch.
* {{Pluralses}}: In ''Definite Article'':
-->I hang-glide; you hang-glide; he/she hang-glides; we hang-glid; you hang-glidded; they hang-gliddededed.
** Also, in his Wembley show Izzard discusses the Alien series: There's {{Film/Alien}}, followed by {{Film/Aliens}}, followed by [[{{Film/Alien 3}} Alienses]], followed by [[Film/AlienResurrection Alienzzzzzz]]...
* PullYourselfDownTheSpear: He has a long segment in his "Stripped" tour about a soldier trying this to defeat the enemy's extra-long spears.
* TheQueensLatin
* RealTrailerFakeMovie: The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbMaGsVYs_Q "Lust for Glorious" trailer]] from Glorious, which advertises the mockumentary ''as some sort of high-octane action movie''.
-->'''Eddie''': [[IceCreamKoan I wanna live till I die. No more, no less.]]
* RealisticDictionIsUnrealistic: Intentionally {{averted|Trope}}.
* RearrangeTheSong: The intro music to his ''Dress to Kill'' special is a remixed version of that of ''Glorious''. In addition, ''Glorious''' theme appears on the ''Dress to Kill'' CD.
* RecursiveReality: Apparently Jesus' birth involved Christmas presents ''and even had a nativity set up.''
* RedShirt When Steve from the accounts department beams down with Captain Kirk, he's probably not coming back.
* RunningGag: Izzard's Scottish clarinet teacher Mrs. Badcrumble, Creator/JamesMason and Sean Connery playing various historical figures because they're the only voices he can do (Mason is almost always God), and jam is always mentioned in some shape or form. Extras will almost always be named either Steve or Jeff.
* RuleOfThree: Izzard himself has stated in an interview that he often draws humor this way.
-->Sometimes you're hoovering away and it makes that funny noise. "A-jig-a-jig-a-jig-a-jig-a." And you carry on hoovering, thinking "Was that a bit of grit? Was that a piece of money? ''Or was that the treasure of the Sierra Madre?''"
** This may have been an intentional bit of irony, as the actual [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/TheTreasureOfTheSierraMadre treasure of the Sierra Madre]] was [[spoiler:gold dust]].
* RuleThirtyFour:
-->In the Fifties, [[IWasQuiteALooker the Queen was kinda sexy]], in a... [[{{Dissimile}} not-very-sexy kinda way]]... but she was. "Fancy the Queen! Yeah, got her picture on my locker-room door! Shag the Queen!"
* SexSells: "Oh look! Those two people like it. And they're shagging..."
** [[SubvertedTrope Dog food! Dog eats dog food... right, so anyway... I'm not sure what happens there...]]
* ShapedLikeItself: When discussing becoming a beekeeper:
-->I wanna be a beekeeper! I wanna... keep bees. Don't want them to get away, wanna keep them!
* SlidingScaleOfAnthropomorphism: Fruit falls under "Inanimate, sentient plants", according to the spectrum described. Oranges are likened to the crew of ''Film/DasBoot'' ([[FunetikAksent "Kaptain: Zey are breaking in mit Finger Depth-Charges!" "Haff ze rind only come off in schmall chunks!" "Zey are schtill coming through!" "Push ze pips into bits zey vouldn't expect!"]]), and pears time their ripening to when humans aren't around for giggles.
* SlowerThanASpeedingBullet: Provides the page quote.
* SophisticatedAsHell: Does this a lot.
** On his early attempts to chat up girls:
--> "I didn't have the power to say, "Susan, I saw you in class today, as the sun shone with a brilliant light that caught your hair. It was haloed. You turned, your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer: [[PunctuatedForEmphasis "I FANCY YOU!"]]"
** Also described UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler as "a Nazi shithead... as many eminent historians have pointed out".
* SpotOfTea: Tea and Cake, or Death!
** Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?
* StealthPun: "If we ever saw Dracula, we'd all do sign of the cross, and then we'd do stake to the heart, and then we'd do garlic bread...perhaps garlic bread as a starter, and then the stake."
* TheCavalry: Referenced by name when Izzard says America showed up two years late for WWII "because you'd been watching US Cavalry movies."
* TakeAThirdOption: Near the end of the "Cake or Death?" routine, somebody opts for cake and is informed that there's none left, only death. "Well, I'll take the chicken, then."
-->Tastes of human, sir!
* TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat: In ''Definite Article'' Izzard does a bit wherein a tape teaching French corrects the listener.
-->'''Tape''': Ou est la plume de ma tante? Monsieur, ou est la plume de ma tante? [Where is my aunt's pen? Mister, where is my aunt's pen?]
-->'''Izzard''': La plume de ma tante est pres de la chaise de ma tante. [My aunt's pen is near my aunt's chair.] ''[[AsYouKnow As well you know.]]''
-->'''Tape''': Oui, la plume de ma tante est pres de la chaise de ma tante. [Yes, my aunt's pen is near my aunt's chair.]
-->'''Izzard''': [[FakeInteractivity How does this tape know what I'm talking about?]]
-->'''Tape''': Ou est la plume de mon oncle? [Where is my uncle's pen?]
-->'''Izzard''': La plume de mon oncle est bingy bongy boogy bongy.
-->'''Tape''': Non! Pas de tout! Je ne me connais pas bingy bongy boogy bongy! Qu'est-ce que vous dites?! Vous est un putain! [No! Not at all! I don't know bingy bongy boogy bongy! What are you saying?! You are a whore!]
-->'''Izzard''': Je suis pas un putain. Je n'avais pas le sexe pour l'argent. Que c'est vous dites, vous cassette? [I am not a whore. I don't take sex for money. What are you saying, you cassette?]
-->'''Tape''': Oh, oh pardon. Je suis désolé. Vous avez raison. [''singing''] Je suis seulement pauvre cassette. Et je, je n'avais pas le pantalon. [Oh, oh pardon me. I'm sorry. You're right. I am only a poor cassette. And I, I have no trousers.]
** And again [[OverlyLongGag in the German version]]:
-->'''Tape''': Wo ist das Kind, mein Herr? Wo ist das Kind? [Where is the child, sir? Where is the child?]\\
'''Izzard''': Das Kind ist in dem Flughafen. [The child is at the airport.] ''[[AsYouKnow As well you know.]]''\\
'''Tape''': Ja, das Kind ''ist'' in dem Flughaben. ''Aber warum?'' [Yes, the child ''is'' at the airport. ''But why?'']\\
'''Izzard''': Well, Iím not really sure. Perhaps he likes the airplanes.
* TastesLikeChicken:
-->'''Airline passenger''': I'll take the chicken, then, please.\\
'''Cabin staffperson''' ''(encouragingly)'': Tastes of human, sir.
* TimmyInAWell: With Sharky the friendly shark (but not that friendly).
** He just happens to rescue a lot of one-legged kids: what of it? They were one-legged when he found them. Really.
* TrademarkFavoriteFood: Not to eat but to talk about: Jam. Probably because it's an InherentlyFunnyWord.
* TransEqualsGay: He's had to deal with the fact that many people assume he's gay because of his crossdressing, when in fact he identifies as heterosexual. One routine had him pointing out that even though people like to equate gay men and drag queens, there is "a crowbar separation" between the two.
-->Most transvestites fancy girls, you can tell people that. "Most transvestites fancy girls." "Who told you that?" "A transvestite told me that!"
* TranslationByVolume: He did a bit about this trope (talking loudly and/or slowly to foreigners), where Brits in France would try to order the same foods from home, but speak with greater volume and enunciation.
* TurbineBlender: When a bird gets sucked into an engine they call it "birdstrike". It's not birdstrike, it's "enginesuck"!
* UnpluggedVersion: ''Stripped''. Izzard felt that his outfits and routines were becoming too elaborate. For this tour, he decided to go simple and wear men's clothing in the form of a dress shirt and jeans with a tailcoat for a touch of flair while simplifying his set so he didn't go off on as many tangents.
* VerbalBackspace: "You! Cake or death?" "Um, death, please--[[OhCrap no! Cake! CAKE! Sorry]]..."
* VerbalTic: "So... yeah." Acknowledged and occasionally [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] ("So... affirmative.")
** The back original video box of 'Glorious' was completely plain except for a simple 'So... Yeah' written in tiny script.
** And this is all true.
* VillainsOutShopping: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJ2yRTRlMFU "I will have the penne al'arrabiata."]]
** The queue of murderers in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCvbmW3bxt4 late-night petrol station]]!
*** '''''[[AltumVidetur Amo amas amat amamus amatis amant!]]''''' [[OhCrap "Fucking hell, he knows Latin!"]]
*** "Ello, we're murderers. Uh... Twix, please."
*** "Yeah, bread for my BREAD GUN!"
* VulgarHumor:
** Notably ''averted''. He does curse a lot in his act fairly liberally, but he seldom - if ever - does any truly vulgar material. And even with the cursing "fuck" is never in reference to sex (which he calls "shagging"), and "shit" is never a reference to excrement (which he calls "poo"). The end result is that he swears a ''lot'', but the act as a whole comes off childlike and charming, and his [=DVDs=] are easily rendered family-friendly by applying the bleeped audio option which is always included.
* WhatTheHellIsThatAccent: During the James Bond bit in ''Definite Article'', there is a Russian agent whose voice, courtesy of Izzard's usual skill with accents, slides all over the place without ever quite hitting Russia. Lampshaded: Bond challenges him on it, and the agent claims that he has an experimental voice synthesizer that allows him to imitate any accent but unfortunately it's currently stuck on the shop demonstration setting.
* WholesomeCrossdresser: Izzard himself, though he prefers the term "Executive Transvestite" or "Action Transvestive". He's also straight, which is not that unusual in RealLife.
** During his Stripped Tour, he claimed to be a Retired Transvestite now. He's stated it's ironic now that, because of the Stripped tour, he has to go on TV ''insisting'' that he's still a transvestite, when he spent much of his life trying to hide it.
* WomensMysteries: Hopscotch. What happened here?
* WhoNamesTheirKidDude: Lampshaded and then some in the Engelbert Humperdinck routine.
--> "What shall we call our son so he does not get the shit kicked out of him at school?"
--> "We shall call him Engelbert!"
--> "Yes, that'll work!"
* WorstAid : How the Heimlich Maneuver came to be, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MnurooA2tw according to him]].
** ''Okay, then maybe with a frying pan...''
** A fist! A hand! Hoocha hoocha hoocha LOBSTER.
* YouMeddlingKids: Referenced to and lampshaded as Izzard often does.
-->'''God (as James Mason)''': *listens to Jesus go on a rant about various Christian groups* And what does the Holy Ghost think of all this?
-->'''Jesus''': Oh, he's useless, dad, got a sheet over his head these days.
-->'''Holy Ghost''': ...whooooh, Holy Ghost, Holy Ghost!
-->'''God''': Holy Ghost, this isn't an episode of WesternAnimation/ScoobyDoo!
-->'''Holy Ghost''': ...and I would have succeeded, were it not for those pesky God and Jesus fellows!

''So... yeah.''