Awesome / Le Morte d'Arthur

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• Some time after having started his reign, Arthur receives some messengers from the Roman Empire. The message: to be subjugated to the Empire or suffer the consequences with war over his land. Arthur, being a good host, treats them pretty well, giving them bedrooms, food, drinks and everything to have a comfortable stay. But he also tells them that next day, they must go back to Rome and tell the Emperor something like "this kingdom will not be subjugated to the Roman Empire and that if they want war, then war they will have. No, wait, you know what? Better tell your Emperor that we will go to him with war, so he had better prepare his armies, because ours will be prepared too". So the war falls over the lands of the Roman Empire with the armies of King Arthur winning. Then finally King Arthur and Emperor Lucius enter into man-to-man combat, the final showdown between rulers. After a while, King Arthur wins with a vertical slash from Excalibur that goes from the Emperor's head down to his chest almost cutting him in half. That way, the war was over and King Arthur was crowned as the new Emperor.
• Mordred and Agravaine, trying to prove Lancelot's affair with Guenever, decide on the tried-and-true method of "let's catch them in the act." They also take along twelve armored knights with them, just in case. The fourteen slam on the chamber door, shouting for the naked and unarmed Lancelot to surrender. Does he give in? Fuck no, cause he's Lancelot. He tricks one of them into the room, kills him, takes his weapons and armor, and even gets off a one-liner as he takes the 13-to-1 odds.
  Ah sirs, said Sir Launcelot, is there none other grace with you? then keep yourself.
  So then Sir Launcelot set all open the chamber door, and mightily and knightly he strode in amongst them; and anon at the first buffet he slew Sir Agravaine. And twelve of his fellows after, within a little while after, he laid them cold to the earth, for there was none of the twelve that might stand Sir Launcelot one buffet. Also Sir Launcelot wounded Sir Mordred, and he fled with all his might.

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