Archie heads back home, and finds Billy and Hank sitting on the front porch of his house. Interesting that they all chose to meet up there without consulting each other. Wait, no it isn't. Billy and Hank act totally in thrall to Archie - we already know that.
I love the use of the word "thereupon". Gifford is big on enhancing vocabularies.
You mean, when he fell in the "two separate piles of doo"?
I still can't get over that description.
How long did that celebration last? I mean in terms of exact minutes, Gifford. Come on, man, give us that information! For that matter, what did the celebration consist of? Dancing around and slapping each other's backs?
I'll count "a good long while" as being 10 minutes, even though I imagine the author would have given a larger number if he'd thought of it. But I'll add 10 to the celebration length counter.
They decide to head back to the tunnels, but that bit of adventure is cut short by the arrival of Stu Miller, the twin brother of Amanda's friend Janet, and a casual friend of the boys. Unlike Janet, Stu actually has lines of dialog.
"How did you get hold of her diary?" Archie asked curiously.
"She forgot it over at our house yesterday," Stu replied. "She was visiting with Janet, and left it on the living room sofa. I picked it up by accident and took a look inside, not realizing what it was. It's got some interesting stuff in there. Do you want to hear it?
Okay, does Amanda take her diary with her when she goes over to other people's houses? Is this normal? I wouldn't even know, actually, but it wouldn't surprise if it isn't. I also love how Stu talks like the author. I can easily see the author writing "Stu picked the diary up by accident and took a look inside, not realizing what it was" in the story.
This is a mistake I see even with good authors - writing characters who talk like the narration. Some authors have a hard time separating the way the characters speak from the way the author writes. Gifford actually hasn't had that problem for the most part, mainly because his kids speak like a mixture of the elderly and small children.
Yeah, the time you three acted like douchebags totally unprovoked was hilarious.
Archie says he doesn't care what's in Amanda's diary, but Stu presses him that he'll want to know this. So Archie asks if it does have to do with the apples, and Stu says nope.
Yeah, girls always use words like "cute" and "handsome". And yes, those words were emphasized in the original writing. Those girls and their descriptive words, for boys that they think are cute and handsome! How silly.
I wonder why she would have crossed it out? I can't imagine.
"I disbelieve your revelation, Stu! What you have revealed is unconvincing! I don't believe it!"
Okay, what Archie actually said is this:
"I would not like green eggs and ham! I would not like them, Sam I am!"
"I do not believe your lies! I don't believe you fooled my eyes!"
"Amanda likes me? Sure that's true? Amanda likes me? Really, Stu?"
Is Stu sure he read it right? I'd like to know, what's there to read? What could he possibly mess up on?
Stu allays Archie's concerns.
Yeah, Amanda definitely wrote that Archie was cute and handsome, before crossing it out. Stu can tell, because he read it slowly, when nobody was around. It must have been hard to make out Amanda's neat handwriting.
Archie asks where the diary went to, and Stu says he gave to his mom to return to Amanda. Archie asks Stu not to reveal that Amanda has, or had, a crush on him, and Stu promises, before heading back home.
The three head back to the hidden tunnel, talking about Amanda's diary, and how surprising it is that Amanda used to like Archie.
I'm not surprised that Amanda used to like Archie, considering what an ass he's been to her.
The boys soon reach the yard that leads to the hidden tunnels.
I still can't get over this matter-of-fact writing.
While waiting for the situation to improve since entering the tunnel is a bad idea under these circumstances, Archie starts thinking about Amanda.
Yeah, I think that may explain why Amanda used to have a crush on you, and doesn't anymore.
I'd say that their intentions are obvious now that the diary has entered the picture. Amanda clearly wanted the cute Archie to tackle her to the ground with his handsome body.
Girls sure are something, aren't they? Like Archie, Gifford Bailey doesn't understand girls. He doesn't understand boys either. Or graveyards. Or newspapers. Or jewel thieves. Or trees. Or squirt guns. Or inflatable boats. Or that throwing people in the pool is dangerous. Or-
I'll stop there.
Archie tells them to forget it, and they continue to wait behind the hedge. Finally, when it starts to get close to the evening, they head home, which makes me wonder just how long they hid behind that hedge.
On the way back, Archie thinks about the girls, and the day they interrupted his tackleball game.
I say that would be utterly perfect. Amanda and Archie are the respective leaders of their group of ¡Three Amigos!, while Billy and Hank are identical clones who even talk in unison quite frequently. I'm guessing Janet and Cindy are identical clones who never speak.
They're perfect for each other.
What does he even mean about fixing the matter? Fix it in what way? Unite our Edwards with our Bellas? Scare the girls away from the boys? I don't get what his intentions are. They are unclear to the audience.
Anyway, that's chapter 12. It's only 6 pages long. More like 5, due to the last page being only part of the last paragraph. But here we see that the author does not understand human relations at all. Well, we've seen the enormous number of things that he doesn't understand. The good news is that the adventure will return soon. There's 5 chapters left, and more adventure and stupid relations to go, so stay tuned!
