(outside, the Neo Sailor Scouts walk along)
Tori: You know something, guys?
Hikari: Eh?
Tori: The guys could have chosen a better way to assign outfits. Just look at us.
(indeed, even though Tori's in a shade of blue, the rest still wear the Ranger colors)
Does that not scream out "blatant target"?
Daniella: You know, you're absolutely right. (folds arms)
Xandra: Oh, you know what? I have an idea! Why not go out shopping?
Michelle: ...hm. Yeah, you're right. Plus, it would help us in not looking too suspicious.
<But how are we going to do this? Split up? Even though it's a stupid idea? Or...>
(the group thinks. Thankfully for them, none of Mykan's forces are there to overhear them)
Rika: Welcome back!
Previously...stuff happened.
(she pauses)
...damn. You know it's getting bad when I don't really have anything to say. So let's not waste any time and dive into...
Chapter 13: Enter the Fire Temple
...wait, how can a fire temple "enter", anyway? Especially since it's located, oh, I don't know, in the bottom of a fucking well?
So as we all know, the discovery of a temple means the sage and LINO can go. And speaking of the latter, he tells Raye on how it's all going to go down. Namely, she has to wear her special armor to protect herself against the heat. And some more descriptions over how (fuckin') hot the temple is.
The duo transform, with LINO changing into his red tunic and hat to resist the heat as well. They head inside, and Volvagia watches, gloating over how the duo will fall into his trap. Of course, Morpha is watching, and he decides to deal with him.
I've seen countless of "villains betraying the shit out of one another", and it ain't gonna end well.
In the temple itself, they enter the first room, and Raye realizes just how unbearably hot it is compared to outside—wait, what? I thought her special armor is supposed to repel that shit!
Anyway, they find the main boss' room. The problem is, it's too damn high to reach. At that point, they move forward, activating a switch that reveals both a key and the first clue.
- "In order to get to the room where the Boss lurks, you need to do something about the pillar stuck in the ceiling. Find a path that leads to a room above the ceiling."
After finding said pillar, they enter the next room. Where it has more lava, causing Raye to complain and LINO to kinda being dickish. And you know the drill: activate a switch, find a key, lather, rinse, repeat.
Honestly, thank God I wouldn't be able to write a playthrough, because it would be the most boring playthrough ever.
As for the second clue?
- "A wall that you can blow up will sound different than a regular wall if you strike it."
Riiiiight.
(back in Japan...)
Tori: I say we go into a couple small groups. Michelle, you come with me. Xandra, Daniella, and Hikari? You guys can go.
(the others nod, and they split apart)
Xandra: Hm...
Daniella: So where can we go?
(but then, some of the mooks—Changelings—arrive!)
You've got to be fucking kidding me. What are they doing here?
Changeling #1: Find the Scouts!
Changeling #2: Yeah! They've gotta be around here somewheres...
Changeling #3: Let's ask these ladies. (turns to the trio) You know where the Scouts are?
Xandra: Well. Hell if I know.
Hikari: The...Scouts?
Daniella: Look, guys, you're just cramping our style here. What did you want with them, anyway?
(the three are pretty convincing in acting dumb about the entire whereabouts)
(and then, Tori and Michelle are stopped by some mechanical wolves)
Michelle: ...really?
Tori: ...I can do this. I can do this. (is mentally pumping herself up, especially when she's starting to get flashbacks from the bad future)
Michelle: ...
<Tori...>
(and then Tori reveals the Moon Stick)
Tori: Michelle. It's time.
(Michelle nods in understanding)
Rika: So after going through a shitload of traps—and honestly, if I were to play a video game version of this, I'd probably grow bored out of my fucking skull and just shut it off—Raye notices that there's a weird colored wall. Of course, we all know one thing: this is the type of wall that needs to be blown up to reveal stuff inside.
...
I've played A Link Between Worlds in between, okay?
LINO and Raye light the bomb up, and it explodes, revealing a room. Who would have thought?
And they get the next clue.
- "There are switches in the temple that you have to cut to activate, but can also try using explosives too."
O...kay.
Also, forgive me if it feels like I'm skipping past the mook battles. I'm only picking the more important stuff to cover.
Eventually, LINO and Raye work their way up from the lava pit, where they see a crystal switch. After the latter defeats a Torch-slug...
- LINO: "Oh, Mars. You still have much to learn."
(Rika just looks disgusted)
Fuck you, asshole, she actually defeated a mook! And you berate her? What the hell?
The chapter ends with the two initially struggling to get the switch activated the right way until Raye has a plan. Simply, to throw a bomb next to the switch after lighting it up, and when it explodes, it gives them ample time to climb up to the next section.
...yeah, about the thing where it says "there seems to be no end in sight"? That accurately describes my feeling towards this fanfic right now.
Chapter 14: The Flare Dancer
After a scene where Serena is still flanderized into her lazy self (aka what Mykan perceives her as), LINO and Raye are in a maze with rolling boulders that go into different paths. They decide to split up and find out where it would take them.
...yeah. Pulling out all the cliches...God, my sarcasm's failing me!
So they find two more doors with two more clues. And one of them is completely useless. Guess which one it is.
- "There are false doors in this temple that fall down if you try to open them. If any door starts to wobble, stay out of it's path. You can get rid of these doors by blowing it up.""If ever you catch on fire, you can put it out by swinging a weapon or by rolling forward."
If you guessed "Clue #5", congratulations! You guessed how predictable this story is! And he had to feel the need to point out how LINO's tunic protects him against the fire, and Raye's armor is fireproof.
...wait, I'm sorry. "Flameproof". (laughs in disbelief)
They keep the tips, and they arrive in a new section, where there's a bridge. And there's a steep fall should they fuck it up. That changes from "very" to "extremely" so you'd know they would be in deep shit if, yeah, the worst happens.
But they make it anyway, with LINO firing an arrow to a switch, and it opens the door. They get a piece of the map, and they realize one other thing. There's still a shitload of floors they would need to go through.
Fucking daaaaaaamn. (drinks)
(Michelle and Tori prepare their moon sticks...)
Tori: AQUITAR CRYSTAL POWER, MAKE-UP!
Michelle: ONYX CRYSTAL POWER, MAKE-UP!
(and so, they both transform into their Neo Sailor Scout forms, wearing the same types of outfits the other Sailor Scouts before them have worn...but their colors are different. Tori's color scheme is light blue, and Michelle's is black and red.)
Tori: Wielder of Water, I am Sailor Aquitar!
Michelle: Fighter by nature, I am Sailor Onyx!
Tori: We are the Neo Sailor Scouts! In the name of the world, prepare to surrender!
<Dear God, that sounded so cheesy...and yet, sounds so right.>
(the wolves growl, and the two prepare themselves for a fight)
Let's go!
(Tori takes out the Water Trident, a silver trident with the element of water in kanji. She slices the wolves with ease)
It's working! Ha!
(as for Michelle, her ninja-to has been transformed into the Blade of Power. Despite the totally original name, Michelle slices through the air, sending shockwaves to the wolves. After several slices, the wolves go down)
Michelle: ...that was fun. But...I do need to quell my fighting spirit.
Tori: God, yes. Don't want our cover to be blown!
(the two nod, and they head off)
Rika: Now that I think about it, there is indeed a part where they decide to grab the compass. Which is understandable, because from when I played A Link Between Worlds, it shows the floors and the treasure chests.
As they backtrack, a curtain of fire is about to swallow them whole.
- "They tore across the room like two jet engines and made it to the door."
(Rika sports a "WTF?" expression upon reading that particular sentence)
Moving right along...
After breaking a floor with the bomb, LINO investigates and tells Raye to stay where she is. Curiosity gets the best of her as she finds the key and the next clues. Oh, and she breaks her...(gives an unimpressed look)..."master's" orders when she shares them with LINO.
- "If you find an area that you can see on the map, but cannot reach yourself, try playing the Ocarina of Time."
No shit?
- "Somewhere in this temple, you are sure to come across some creatures that dance as they attack; arrows will not hurt them. Try using a sample of explosives."
...aw, shit, those types of enemies. And I'm sure we'll encounter them soon in the liveblogging.
So they head to a room they've yet to discover, once again passing by the fire curtain, until they find strange pillars. LINO notices how strange, yes, they look, until...Raye is hurt by a stream of fire.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Okay, Mykan? You've established them as not taking damage to fire attacks. You've said that the armor's fireproof flameproof. Is this a way to nerf their abilities? Because it ain't working, it makes me wonder why the fuck LINO didn't stop her, either.
Some teacher he turned out to be.
Eventually, they do go through the maze and obtain the compass. But as it turns out as they head towards the exit? They've been taking the wrong way the entire time. God, even M. Night Shyamalan wouldn't come up with something that half-assed!
Even so, remember the whole "false doors" thing? Yeah. That's exactly what's going on.
(Rika sighs)
You know what? I'm seriously going to skip those, because it's just boring to liveblog it all. The only important thing to take from it is that, eventually, they do make it through by breaking the actual door with a bomb.
So they make it to the room, and they have a bad feeling about something. Turns out that they have made it to the mini-boss, Flare Dancer. And he's the dude who can't be harmed by arrows.
...
- The first of the three tries, Raye uses the bombs and fire attacks to weaken the foe, and LINO slashes the shit out of the rock part. And as you can definitely tell by how I started the paragraph, they have to defeat him three times.
- The second time is...kinda more of a challenge, with the Flare Dancer using his attacks, but LINO pulls the rock off, and after several back-and-forths (no, seriously), Raye burns the rock.
- The final time? Rather anticlimatically. Because Raye uses the charms attack as LINO uses the Master Sword Slash attack, defeating Flare Dancer.
(Rika looks unimpressed again)
So if you got all that...they just beat him like that.
The chapter ends with Volvagia getting pissed that the Flare Dancer did not defeat LINO and Raye. So he orders the minions to capture them. And he threatens that if they don't do so, their bodies would be roasted.
I ask this: what of the minions who are already fire elementals, dude?
(Rika rubs her head and drinks)
So we're halfway through liveblogging the Fire Temple. So tune in next time for its conclusion.
The light of the moon is the message of love. So find out next time on Rika Liveblogs vs. Sailor Moon Legend of Zelda!
Comments
- facepalm* I... I have no words. This fic's pure idiocy has left me speechless.
