We open to a rather touching line of Flathoof mourning the loss of Snapshot, regretting having gotten her involved.. which then gets derailed as his mom starts to lay into him about getting injured, how this is exactly why they didn't want him becoming a cop. All while soaking his wounds in alcohol, ouch.
She kind of rants, giving Flathoof a quick swipe to his ear anytime he tries to interrupt or argue with her. First trying to blame his injuries on Tick Tock, then just in general on him foolishly continuing to be in the line of work he is. A few mentions about how she is rather sad about Snapshot, though at least in part due to her having been sure her and Flathoof would be giving her grand kids at some point soon.. Then AJ walks in... nice timing there....
Flathoof nearly jumped out of his seat, completely taken by surprise as Applejack made her presence in the doorway known. He turned pink in the cheeks, realizing he was not only out of uniform, but not wearing any clothes at all.
“Oh geez!” he blurted. He reached over to the bed stand and grabbed his cap, using it to hide his indecency. “Ma! Would it kill you to close the door, huh?”
Shortcake flicked her son’s ear again. He winced. “Hush! We are in a private residence, so that fool Dress Code doesn’t apply in here. And mind your manners, talking to your mother like that in front of company. What would your father say?”
“Ma, I am naked here and there is a girl standing in my room.”
Shortcake chuckled, patting him on the shoulder. “And about time too, if I do say so—"
“Ma!”
So.. much... hilarity.... Though, grabbing his cap to cover... what? What the hell was he covering with a cap? The only thing that might work, isn't really well displayed on the equine form, and there are plenty of ponies wearing clothes that don't cover that area at all, so that particular thing isn't an issue. The more you learn about this whole dress code thing, the less and less sense any of it makes. I'm talking above and beyond the normal "this makes no sense" of the city.
She asks AJ to look after him on their little adventure before leaving the room. Well after a bit of shipping anyway, asking AJ to help Flathoof get dressed, since she didn't mind the whole 'being naked' thing. (And no that is nothing close to what Rarity is going to do later that pisses me off. 1. She doesn't fully know that after a few weeks, they will never see these ponies again. 2. Moms kind of get a pass on that sort of thing.)
Speaking of moms. Flathoof's mom. Yet another really great, if minor, character. Even without being told, it would have been clear who she is just from how she acts. While it is kind of one of the stereotypical 'mother' archetypes, she's still well done, stands out, and you can tell there is more there then just the stereotypes. Plus, just watching Flathoof, the pony that till now had always been in control, always so in charge, reduced to basically a teenager around her is so hilarious, and yet also does fit him.
Flathoof manages to get dressed without any help, though AJ was more then willing to offer some and they sit down to talk. Mostly just her listening to him talk about Snapshot. He knew about her interest in him, but didn't reciprocate, though did bring her over for holidays, mostly because one of his brothers rather liked her. Though now, he wonders if maybe there might have been a chance for something between them, but admits it might just be the grief talking, making him wish for things to have been different.
Applejack sat next to him on his bed. “That’s what it feels like ta lose someone ya hold close ta yer heart. I know that feelin’, sugar.” She looked away and removed her hat, placing it over her heart. “I know how hard it is ta get the news and deal with the loss. The feelin’ that ya couldn’t stop it. That ya never had a chance ta say goodbye.”
This is such a great scene, so much emotion yet, still rather subdued. It feels really natural. Not like a scene added just to have the "hero reflect on a lost loved one they blame themselves for" scene. But rather just a natural result of what happened and who the characters are. Plus the little reminder of how AJ, alone that we know of of the Mane 6, could most empathize with him, most know what he was going though. Simply adding to their growing bond.
She tells him she's here if he wants to talk about it more before suggesting they go check on the others. Flathoof agreeing, especially on seeing how Tick Tock was doing, figuring that she probably could use some checking up on after having to deal with his mother. Outside his room they get stopped by his little brother, who was worried about Flathoof, having heard he got hurt. Flathoof reassures him he's fine before sending him back to bed. Once he was gone AJ noting how much he reminded her of Applebloom, even looking the same, minus the bow. (Okay now the similarities are getting just a bit heavy. And yet, can't help but wonder what both families meeting each other would be like.)
Out in the main room were Tick Tock, Twilight and Lockwood. The Chronomancer laying on the couch, her leg in a sling while Twilight worked some magic on it, Lockwood cleaning up the rest of the medical supplies they had used.
“You're one to talk.” Tick Tock frowned and looked down at the floor. “I’m sorry about what happened to your friend. That bloody maniac used her to get to you, since you were with me...”
Okay, another little thing about this that I love. She's wrong. Much like with the building explosion being blamed on Shadowstep, the mane characters are quite wrong about some things. And yet, the only reason we know it is because we have information they don't. We saw Shadowstep getting his orders, knew why he did everything he did. They don't. Yet, everything they are wrong about, makes sense. It is a perfectly logical thing to assume based on just what they know. It's not a big thing, their being wrong about some of this doesn't come up later, isn't really relevant to the story as a whole. It doesn't matter now why the building blew up, or what Shadowstep's motivations were. Yet they are added all the same. It's a minor thing but, I just love that, it helps it feel more real, less like a story where everything is scripted, and more like simply looking through a window into this other world where things are playing out on their own.
Twi says Tick Tock should be fine as long as she stays off the leg for a day or two. Though Tick Tock not willing to wait till she's healed before they head out, wanting to do so ASAP. Which leads Twi to ask something. If they really do need to get home so quickly. She tries to calm AJ's immediate accusation of her not wanting to get home. This isn't about not wanting to go home, but about just how dangerous this was going to be. Tick Tock and Flathoof already injured, and outside the Gate is even worse.. She simply wants to know if there might be another option that wouldn't require ponies to risk their lives trying to help them. Simply wait for the next, natural portal. Specifically, she wondered if Princess Celestia couldn't simply find new bearers for the Elements and have them ready to deal with Discord when as soon as he got out. Giving the mane 6 time to wait.
Tick Tock says it might be possible, but without being able to talk to The Doctor and make sure he had the same idea, they couldn't risk assuming that was going to happen. (Though, while Tick Tock not thinking about it makes sense, given how little she knows about them, Twi's not also taking into account just how hard it might be to find six new bearers, all with a bond between them, and within three weeks. Yeah not like Celestia can just go to some "Wielders of the ultimate power of Ponykind" vending machine and pop out a fresh set.)
Nice idea, but to many ways it could go wrong or not work out to risk it.
Which leads to Twi asking why she can't talk to The Doctor, since she clearly has the ability and has done so before. Seems Tick Tock done did goof. She left her Timekeeper (that pocket watch she was always messing with) in her TARDIS (Another reason changing his name made no sense, keeping him "The Doctor" made calling them TARDIS's make more sense) Without it, she's pretty much no longer a Chronomancer. It was what let her do all the things they do. And while it might still be sitting in her apartment, she didn't want to risk Shadowstep having laid a trap for her, noting they didn't find a body after their last fight.
On the one hand, very nice they are filling in possible Fridge Logic and addressing just why some other options aren't viable. On the other, they wrote off getting such an important device fairly easily. I'm sure between all of them they could have found a way to get into her place, avoid any traps, and get it if it was still there. But, I do get why Tick Tock doesn't want to risk it, and the others aren't quite aware of just HOW important that device could be.
With that they all split up and head to bed. Twi noting to the other two native ponies that as much as she might dislike Tick Tock's attitude, she is the best chance for getting through the Wastes, since neither of them have any first hoof experience. Tomorrow morning they would head for the Gate and try to put as much distance between them and the city as possible before nightfall.
The rest agreeing before separating and heading to their rooms. Lockwood giving Flathoof a bit of a ribbing over AJ calling him 'sugar' while she said goodnight.
And we then jump to them entering the Gate District. Gotta say, the exposition/scene setting here is marvelous. So much better done then for the Outer District. While that one did a good job of setting the scene, and really gave a good impression of what it was like, it made little sense for it to be there from an in story perspective. This one does, as we are seeing Twilight's views of it as they walk through, her reactions and thoughts. Not just some narrator telling us how things are, but seeing what they look like to a pony during her first time seeing them.
Overall, it's very very high class. Everything is clean, neat, organized. Nothing rundown or out of place. Ponies out in the street simply relaxing, chatting. Foals playing around and simply having fun. Everything so neat and clean that even Rarity thinks it might be a bit overdone. The ponies they pass all giving off an air of upper class assholes. Snobby, self absorbed, etc... Twilight comparing the overall attitude to that of the Canterlot Elite's.
A mention of rumors that all the maintenance on the section was done from underground, and by mutants, leads to them discussing them. According to "official sources" the hazy curtain of magic covering the sky is radioactive and causes mutations if left exposed. There was something in Dolor food that countered the radiation, but long term exposure out side the city was still harmful.
And of course Pinkie's first though on hearing about mutations was hoping that she could end up getting laser vision.
A passing, wide-eyed filly stared up at Pinkie's hoof from the shadow of her father. She tugged on the stallion's tail. “Daddy—"
“It’s not polite to point at the mentally handicapped, dear,” her father replied.
“It’s not a handicap, it’s a benefit!” Pinkie called after them, rising up onto the tips of her back hooves in her effort. She lost her balance and pinwheeled to the ground, plopping onto her face in a huff.
“That’s not the kind of mutations we’re talking about,” Lockwood said. “Seriously, what?”
So, so great. And Lockwood's reaction at the end is the best part, it's just, so perfect.
As to everything above... I can't count the number of ways that is so, so blatantly, and obviously wrong in, almost every level. Granted it's because it's all a load of bullshit meant to scare ponies into not going out into the Wastes. Tick Tock admitting as much by noting just how much time she spends out there dealing with Chronomancer stuff, and she's fine.
Pinkie turned when a gaggle of young mares nearby started giggling madly at her. She waved, causing them to laugh harder and canter away.
“Seriously, where the bloody hell does she get all these ridiculous ideas?” Tick Tock asked the others. “Laser vision? Shapeshifting? Please tell me the rest of you think she’s bonkers too.”
Twilight, and all the others, shrugged. “She confuses the rest of us just as much most of the time. I wouldn’t question it too much if I were you, Tick Tock. That’s just Pinkie being Pinkie.”
Yet again, just the Equestria V ponies reactions to Pinkie are amazing. Plus, she's just so well done here, it's almost perfect "Pinkie" without coming off TO random or out of it.
Oh and more of the much much better done this time around Pinkie/Dash shipping.
Rainbow chuckled. “I’ll be honest, Pinkie, when I'm in your room the last thing on my mind is your weird hobbies.”
Pinkie wiggled her eyebrows.
“Action figures!” Rainbow blurted. “I like your action figures!”
I actually wasn't that put off by it that first time through, and kind of liked it. Though can see the issues people had. But have to admit, this time through it really does do a great job of it. By this point, it's damn clear what's going on between those two, but it's still played low, not dragged out, just kind of, there.
Also, one more point. The 'mutants' While bit better done this time through, it's still not quite coming off to me the way it's intended. If it wasn't for Word of God, I would never assume that the 'mutants' and the things from the Blood Mire were one and the same. Now, knowing they are, it does make sense and work, it's just, there's nothing so far that actually made me draw a connection between the two.
They reach the gate, the Mane 6 amazed at the shear size of it. And while Tick Tock assures them the massive wall isn't just for show, but rather built just high enough to keep out an adult "gargantuan", some massive beast in the wastes that she hopes they can avoid. The Gate itself, which is even bigger, is pretty much just that big for show, to try and impress anypony going through it. The only structure in the city bigger is Pandemonium Tower in the center of the city. Oh and RD, while it would be easy enough for a pegasus to fly over it, the AA weapons on top would make that a very very stupid idea.
As they approach it, they notice that while there is a fairly steady stream of ponies coming through the 'in' portion of the gate. There is not a single one going 'out'. Something that makes Dash suspicious, even though Lockwood says it's likely just due to the season. That while trips to Utopia are pretty steady most of the year, winter is the slow time, with few going. (Hmm, so is he talking summer down there or up here? Since, opposite ends of the world means seasons are reversed. unless of course magic.. and ponies control the weather like they do in Equestria Prime. Huh, interesting thing to wonder.)
And once again, gotta hand it to the revisions. Other then that one scene while they were cleaning the apartment, RD has come off a LOT better. Sure she's still the one complaining or doubtful most of the time, but it's believable. She has good reason to be doubtful in most of those. Like here.
“Maybe it’s just a bad day of the week?” Twilight said.
Pinkie chuckled, patting Rainbow’s back. “C’mon, Dashie, lighten up a little. This isn’t like you, being all grumpy all the time. Where’s that big Dashie smile? Huh? Huh?” She used her hooves to draw a smile on her own face.
Rainbow gave Pinkie an uncomfortably-large grin in return.
Pinkie hugged Rainbow tight. “There, that’s better.”
“Sorry, Pinks. I’m just trying to look out for everypony, that’s all.” Rainbow said.
It's not being contrary or suspicious just because. That is a rather good point. It is something that seems a bit off, even with Lockwood's assurances there is a good reason. Plus, she doesn't press it, doesn't argue, just points out "This is odd" to make sure everypony else sees it, then let's it go. Hopefully this keeps up once they leave.
Flathoof demonstrates how to use the automatic passport checkers, leaving Twi amazed by the technology here. While the social issues horrify her, as well as just how badly manged and planned the whole city is, the technology is something she wishes she could spend more time studying.
Once they see how to use it, the rest of the ponies step up, their fake passports getting by without a hitch.
Okay, so RD didn't just drop it.
“Yeah yeah, I get it,” Rainbow grumbled. She stepped in next and used hers. Approved. “All of this just seems too convenient if you ask me.”
Which again, maybe getting a tad overly surly, but still, valid point. Especially given what's happened so far to them.
Tick Tock hesitates when it was her turn, half afraid something was going to go wrong, simply because everything's gone wrong for her so far. While Twi tries to convince her things will be fine, Pinkie decides now is a good time for a song.
Once again, perfectly in character Pinkie, and the best part is the Equestria V ponies reaction to it.
“Was that a tuba?” Lockwood asked.
Tick Tock’s jaw dropped. She rubbed her eyes. “What. In the bloody hell. Was that?”
“What in Equestria have I signed up for?” Tick Tock muttered. “Let’s just get this over with.”
So priceless. She uses her passport and things go fine, the group heading for the Gate.
Inside the outer door is a massive, dark, foreboding tunnel. Fluttershy walking close to Rarity, asking for reassurance that things would be alright, that they would work out, being nervous about having no idea about where they were going. Rarity doing her best, telling her as long as they were together they would be fine, and suggesting they talk to somepony about what was ahead if that would help. But, much to Fluttershy's puzzlement, it wasn't Tick Tock Rarity meant, but Lockwood, giving a far far to long spiel about how great he is and.. ugh just ugh. Rarity, NO! that's a bad pony. A very very bad pony! I know what you are doing, and it is a bad bad bad, and also very very stupid, idea.
There's some sort of flirting-ish behavior. Lockwood simply being his polite, amiable self, while Rarity continues trying to subtly do something very stupid. He tries to reassure the mares that things would be fine, Tick Tock seems to know what she's doing, and they'd be in Hope's Point before hey know it.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash watched the whole spectacle with disdain. “I don’t like any of this,” she whispered to Pinkie Pie. “Everypony’s getting a bit too buddy-buddy with those three, especially him. It’s all a bit shady, if you ask me.”
Damnit RD... just when I was complimenting you, and saying how much better you are doing, you go and do something like this.... Granted I don't like the way those two are acting around Lockwood either, but that's cause I know where's it's going, and it ain't good. But, really.. I just do not get RD's issue with Lockwood. Tick Tock, I could actually understand a bit of suspicion. Coming out of no where, all the things that ha happened since she arrived, yeah there is enough to maybe still not fully trust her. But the other two? No, by now they've more then proven what kind of ponies they are.
Plus the whole "Distrust of stallions" thing really really makes no damn sense. Yes Word of God is that there is a reason for it in RD's backstory, but.. that's doesn't work with established characters. There has never been a hint at RD having these issues in the show, so suddenly adding them just comes off as OOC and simply adding shit in for the sake of conflict and drama, no matter how little sense they make.
Overall, it IS better then it was, not quite as irritating, at least not yet, but still, makes no sense for it to be there in the first place.
We do get a rather touching bit between RD and Pinkie from it though. But that's cut short by Pinkie feeling a 'combo' coming on.
We cut to Tick Tock and Twi debating magic. About how 'good' and 'evil' magic really didn't make sense, since a spell that is clearly "good" magic, like restomancy, can be used by evil beings. Though Twi counters with the same applying to "Law" and "Chaos". Tick Tock trying to explain that magic is simply magic.
“That’s because magic is magic,” Tick Tock said, sticking her nose in the air. “Anypony can use any spell, but the source of their magic is derived from either Law, or Chaos. Certain spells are stronger when used by certain forces, but—"
While I get what she is saying, and it does make sense. The whole nose in the air, and just her general attitude really really doesn't help. Yeah, can't fault any pony for having doubts about her with how she acts. Or with Twi for not quite getting what she's saying given the attitude.
Her lecture is cut short by RD calling out the combo, which turned out to be the opposite one for "watch out for opening doors" After a few seconds thought, they realize, hey we are in a long ass tunnel, with no way out except for a door on either end.
Twilight tapped her chin for a moment, then paused. Her head snapped up and her eyes widened. “Oh dear.” She turned to the others and shouted, “Everypony! We need to move! Now!”
And just as she says that, an announcement is made about unauthorized ponies in section nine. The Gate on either side starting to close as the group rushed for it, not making it in time. (okay bit curious about "section 9" part. It seemed to be just one long tunnel, where and what were the "sections"? Once they get out that gate, they are outside, there's no.. gahh it's a little thing that I really wish was better explained.)
Lockwood is at a loss, he swears it had to be some kind of system glitch. If the issue was with the fake passports, they never would have been let in in the first place. Though RD is more then a bit suspicious of that, coming close to blaming him. (Again, don't like it. Though here.. if it wasn't for her previously established animosity towards him, being suspicious would be fine and work. But knowing how she feels, it comes off as more personal, as her simply looking for an excuse to blame him.)
Lockwood suggested simply finding a technician to let them through, that it could take hours for NPPD to respond and get things sorted out. Except, there was already a small group of ponies heading right for them, in uniforms, though not NPPD ones...
Flathoof turned Lockwood’s head towards the approaching ponies and pointed. “We’re right about the NPPD taking their sweet time, but the military is a different story.”
RD of course simply blaming it all on Lockwood. Despite, you know, the whole not making a lick of sense since he was quite right about if they were bad they wouldn't have gotten in the front gate.
The military group shows up, four faceless goons in armor and a smaller pegasus leading them. Lockwood tries to talk hem out of things, saying he knows a pony in the NPAF, though the pony approaching them didn't give a buck. He was here to take in nine unauthorized ponies. Well, seems Lockwood was right, given that if it was the fakes, it would only be seven. Flathoof and Tick Tock both protesting, pointing out just how valid their passports are.
“I’m afraid that passports do, in fact, expire under extraneous circumstances.” The squad leader presented his device, and pointed at Tick Tock with one wing. “According to my information, Miss Tock’s passport expired two days ago.” He then pointed his wing at Flathoof. “And Mister Flathoof’s expired last night. Very strange that the check-in station didn’t catch those. Hmm. Must be a technical problem.”
Yeah, technical issue, not a trap at all. The legitimate passports voided, letting them get in here before going after them.. oh and seems Flathoof is suddenly wanted for Snapshot's murder. The three native ponies are speechless, well not so much Flathoof, as he's raging at the utter bullshit of the charge.
Luckily for this group the Mane 6 don't have a lifetime of following the idiotic and contradictory rules of this city in place keeping them from seeing the other way to avoid getting taken in.
Twilight stepped forward, her horn glowing bright. “No.”
Jetstream raised an eyebrow. “No? You don’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation here, Miss Sparkle. You’re under arrest, and right now, you’re resisting arrest. That will make things very difficult on you and your friends.”
“I said, no,” she said. “My friends and I have gotten too far to stop now. We’re too close to getting out of this city once and for all to care about your rules and regulations anymore. We’re not going anywhere. Not as long as I have anything to say about it.”
Hell yeah Twilight!
RD is more then happy to get a chance to do things her way, her and AJ making a bet on who could take out the most mooks. While them and Flathoof deal with the soldiers, Twi leads the other unicorns to the Gate to try and open it. Lockwood doing his best to get Fluttershy out of way and keep her safe.
Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, was nowhere to be seen; Twilight was deeply concerned, and hoped it was just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie, ready to pop out of nowhere when needed.
This being Pinkie, you know that's what's going on.
Twi asks Rarity to boost her magic like she did Tick Tock's earlier, planning on simply forcing the door open. Tick Tock, in the most condescending way possible tells her it won't work. That while Twi might have enough power to move something that massive, the Gate is protected by an anti-magic field.
Twi's had enough, snapping at Tick Tock over being such a know-it-all bitch. And with good reason. Yeah Tick Tock knows a lot, but not as much as she thinks she does. And even above that, her attitude really is overly condescending, superior, she really comes off as thinking she's better then the rest, special. Though again, it's enough to completely see why Twi is fed up with her, but not enough to make the readers dislike her. Rather, she's balanced out by enough other awesome, that it doesn't really hit. Also, unlike the stuff with RD, this conflict seems to flow naturally, it's just a result of who these ponies are, how they act. Iti's a natural friction between ponies that really do not have personalities that get along well. And while most of the blame here is on Tick Tock for acting the way she does. Neither side is holding a Conflict Ball
Rarity breaks them up, telling them now was not the time, they had to figure out a way to get that gate open before the rest ran into trouble.
Like AJ's trouble of not being able to keep the soldiers down. Flathoof had Jetstream (the squad leader) pinned, while AJ and RD each took two of the faceless goons. But every time AJ put one down, it got right back up. They wouldn't stay down no matter what she did, and she was running out of energy. RD meanwhile was having much the same issue, though able to dodge and stay away from the mooks, nothing she hit them with seemed to phase them, one eventually breaking off to try and join the group attacking RD. The pegasus zooming back to keep that from happening, noting as she bucked on in the face that that armor most be made out of something incredible, since she did more damage to her hoof then to his head. Wondering where the hell Pinkie was.
Oh she was helping the unicorns. Just as Tick Tock finished explaining her idea for how to open the gate. Hack it.
“Hack?” Twilight asked, tilting her head. “As in, with an axe? We don’t have an axe, Tick Tock.”
Tick Tock sighed and held the bridge of her nose. “I really wish I wasn’t the only pony here with any knowledge of techno-magic. Come on, just help me find the bloody panel. It should be nearby.”
I, I don't even, and yet, it makes so much sense it.. holy sweet Celestia that was brilliant! Seriously, it just, one of those things that you'd never really think of, it's so ordinary, such an everyday word, you'd forget how little it would mean to someone from a less advanced technology.
Anyway, Pinkie comes up to point out the panel Tick Tock was looking for. Since it looked just like another blank section of wall till she pushed the right area. Shrugging off Tick Tock's stunned wonder at how the bloody hell she did that before racing back to the fight to help RD.
Tick Tock calls for Twi to come help.
“Yes, O Knowledgeable One?” Twilight asked. “How may I be of assistance?”
I can just hear the shear, snarky sarcasm in the statement.
Here we get the other side of the coin. Why all of the drama isn't entirely Tick Tock's fault. Though yes mostly on her. As every time Tick Tock asks Twi something, she gives a long, rambling explanation, going into way more detail then needed, trying to explain everything about the spell Tick Tock asked if she knew. Yeah, time crunch here Twi. You can see why Tick Tock might have some issues with Twi as well. Again, nothing about them butting heads feels forced, feels like a Conflict Ball was forced on them. It grows naturally just from their different personalities.
Rarity says that as long as they can keep from strangling each other, she was going back to help the rest, grabbing one soldiers rear hooves just as he was coming up behind AJ, giving the mare time to line up a hard buck and send him crashing into the wall.
Ummm, okay this bit is odd..
Pinkie bounced excitedly over to the soldier Rainbow had just slammed into the wall.
It was AJ that just slammed one of them into the wall. Unless it's saying RD did too, but... seriously did we miss a bit of RD doing that, or was that just a goof and they meant AJ?
She offers to give the soldier a hoof up, as soon as he grabs her presented hoof, he starts to shake. Pinkie having left on her electric joy buzzer. Oops. Though.. he wasn't moving now, at all.. and in fact, there were even puffs of smoke coming out of his armor....
Ummm, Pinkie...?
“Um... uh-oh...” Pinkie gulped, backing away. “I’m just gonna... let you rest, okay? Bye!”
Yeah ummm, this is possibly turning dark.
Oh and, yeah.. even more so as Pinkie jumps onto another soldiers back, wrapping her hooves around it's head, playing "guess who". When RD takes the chance to buck the pony in the chest, it's body goes flying.. it's head however remains in Pinkie's grasp.....
Both ponies, with good reason, freak the fuck out. Getting Rarity in one it when they toss the severed head to her. Though she keeps her cool enough to actually look at it.. no blood, no.. anything.. except a few wires. Just as she's telling the rest, the headless body gets up.
“Zombie! Zombie pony!” Pinkie screeched, grabbing Rarity’s face and pointing rapidly at the pony she and Rainbow had just dealt with.
..Well, given what happened last chapter with Zombie ponies.. yeah that is reason to REALLY freak the fuck out and panic, except... wires.. plus, as Pinkie quickly points out herself.
Pinkie scratched her head. “Wait a second, that’s not a zombie. Zombies die if you remove their heads. That’s like, Rule One in every zombie movie. That, and zombies don’t have wires. They have guts, blood, rotten flesh—"
Nope, we're dealing with robots. Have fun being able to cut loose and tear them apart girls.
Rainbow chuckled darkly. “Oh man. This is gonna be fun.”
Yes, yes it will be.
Not needing to hold back to avoid to severely injuring some pony just doing his job, RD picks up speed, lifting one into the air and sending it flying so hard it's legs break off.
“Whoa nelly, y’all pegasi sure do fight dirty,” Applejack blanched. “Remind me never ta pick a real fight with any o’ y’all, yeah? I like my legs.”
Umm, seconded. Damn..
Oh, seems that Flathoof knew about the robo-ponies and just forgot to tell the rest... well guess even he needs to screw up now and then. He uses the distraction of one of the troops being dismembered to headbutt Jetstream, the two going right back to fighting each other.
Okay.. this this is TO much.. yeah bit to far here people....
Another new addition. While messing with the wires to the gate, trying to drop the anti-magic field around it.. Tick Tock manages to activate section nine's trash compactor mode.
Seriously? Whiskey? Tango? Foxtrot? That just, it just.. WHY!? Why the bloody hell would some like that HAVE that feature? How... why... who.. yeah that.. that just goes to far, and.. for no reason.. it it doesn't DO anything, doesn't, it just... WHY!?
As much as that whole bit makes no damn sense, there is one bright spot.
Twilight glared daggers. “Some idea this was! You’re gonna get us all killed!”
“This is no time to panic, Sparkle!”
“I heard the word ‘compactor’, and the walls are closing in!” Twilight grabbed the sides of Tick Tock’s face. “This is the perfect time to panic!”
That was funny. Though not enough so to justify such a nonsensical thing being added.
Well now that hey have an artificial and nonsensical tickimg clock in the closing walls, it's time for Twilight to force open the gate. She calls Rarity over to help boost her magic. The gate opens enough for them to get out, she yells for the group to do so, all of them except RD rushing for the door. RD staying back to keep them covered, knocking Jetstream's gun off his hoof as he tries to fire at the retreating Flathoof, then looping around to grab Twilight and carry her out through the closing door just before it slams shut.
The remaining soldier simply hitting a few buttons in the control panel and turning off the compactor. (Seriously what the hell was the point of having that? It made no damn sense.) Before noting he couldn't fit through the gate, and wouldn't be able to fly over it before they got to far away.
He slumped against the wall, trembling. “I am in so much trouble...”
You have no idea.
Thoughts- Well other then that compactor thing coming out of nowhere... damn good. Our first major, full group fight scene, and it goes quite well. Everypony getting their own bit, well other then Lockwood and Fluttershy, but for good reason. Overall, just a nice conclusion to the mane characters time in New Pandemonium City. Ending on a rather exciting climax as they fought their way out.
The changes are quite nice, well other then that one. Making it even clearer that this was a trap, the stuff with Flathoof really making it quite plain how fucked they were if they stayed in the city. We know it was because of Silvertongue's interest in them. But for them, something like that happening, it's a major mystery how things kept going wrong like that. Add in jetstream reminding his troops that "targets 1-6" were wanted alive.
Okay, I said earlier that revealing just why, and to what level, NPC was fucked up. That it was all Silvertongue, working behind the scenes, causing chaos, doing all this... was a bit of a mistake. that it would have made more sense to hold off, keep the mystery of just what is going on going. Now would have been a great time. All the stuff with him was great, and belongs where it is, but the level of just HOW powerful he is, how much he can manipulate, how much of the city's nonsensicalness is due to him... That would have been IMO better to wait for. Leave a bit more "What's going on" for the reader with all this stuff going wrong at once. I would have swapped chapter 7 and 8. Used 8 to reveal just how large his scheme is, how much control he really has, just how fucked they really would have been had they stayed. Now, don't get me wring, it still works great as it, just, something I think might have been better.
Speaking of changes, Jetstream. MASSIVE improvement. While I gush a bit overmuch maybe about how well done the bit characters are. First time around, Jetstream was an exception. He really wasn't there, wasn't anything special. Just a generic military officer type. Nothing beyond what was needed for his role. This time, much better, he's still clearly a military officer archtype, but there's more to him then that. Plus, he really does come of as a threat. If not a major one. So, yeah great job on him.
Title- Impasse. Well the group really does come to a major one.. though they get through it before the end of the chapter. Then it ends with Jetstream coming to one of his own so, nice multi usage there.
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