(at Akihabara...)
(all the members of the All-Stars V2.0 rejoin, some being startled with the guests...)
(...except for Catherine, who recognizes some of them immediately)
Catherine: Alyx? Michael?
Dan: ...wait, did that mecha just speak right now?
Jason: It's a long story...but as nice as it is to rejoin, let's get down to business!
(he places a book down)
I don't know if anyone has ever heard of Hikonin Sentai Akibaranger, but...I've done some research on our foe. I don't know as to how he even got revived, but...maybe some author powers may have something to do with it.
Catherine: You mean...Author Avatar powers?
Jason: You...could say that...
...
You mean to tell me that—
Catherine: Yes. I've seen a few missions where the villain wanted to create his own reality. Two of the villains tried to use the powers of the Author Avatar in order to make it happen...of course, one of the two wasn't really evil at all, per se, but...
It's complicated.
Mao: I'll say!
Alyx: ...
That's so scary! But how are we gonna lure this Delu-Knight guy out?
(then...the sky grows dark)
Mako: Eh, what the hell?
(...and then...a flash! In an instant, everything seems to be turning back to normal, with Michael reverted back into his true form as a silver-haired cyborg ninja, Mako no longer being brash...among other things)
Michael: Ugh...what happened?
Catherine: Michael? Are you all right?!
Michael: ...Mom?
???: So, it has come to this! Before I make Operation: Super Delu-Knight a reality...
Mao: Oh, boy, here we go!
???: SHUT IT!
Jason: ...
<That's not Delu-Knight...it feels like—>
(and then, enter Delu-Knight...or an alternate version of him, whatever. And unfortunately for the group, he pilots the Boomerang Titan!)
Delu-Knight: My fiancee will be so proud of me...once I succeed!
Xander: Wait, this guy has a fiancee?
Jason: At one point.
Delu-Knight: So...who'll be taken down first?
Ryota: ...
Xander: You guys think it's time to pilot our Zords?
Jason: If we do, we'll need to split into groups!
Delu-Knight: Who said you guys would summon the Zords? From what I see, you already have one!
(he refers to Catherine)
Sean: ...
Xander. You know the spell to make something grow? I think it's the time to execute it.
Xander: Gotcha!
(he dials "1" and "5")
Hold on, Cath!
Morpher: Galwit - Prifior!
(and so, with the spell, Catherine is enlarged into the same size as Boomerang Titan)
Catherine (in a slightly deeper, more mechanical voice): Whoa! Thanks, Xander!
Xander: Anytime!
Sean: And, guys...when Catherine strikes, we will need to distract Delu-Knight! Let's do it! FOR THE FUCKING WORLD!
(the group cheers, and the fight for fate begins, with the Boomerang Titan striking the boomerang in the hopes of it going around and striking Catherine hard)
Rika: So. It has come to this. Sixteen chapters down. Five to go. And a couple of those are kinda short, sooooo...
Previously, some stuff happened. Tom and Sakura are killed off. Mykan obtains his Battlizer. Also, Vlad has his mecha, the Colonel Zord.
...like in the previous installment, I'm just going to summarize the chapters, because...yeah. But I will say this. Prepare yourself for a fight that Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger once did before. But better.
I've started this party; now I'm shutting it down with...
Chapter 17: Power Rangers, Unite Part One
The chapter begins with the Rangers happy that there's no sign of Ebbie anywhere. And we get yet another fucking song. Gag me. As Mykan, James, and Sarah head off, Vlad stays behind at the print shop. From there, Henri finds an old book that contains myths, one Ben says he always had.
And wouldn't you know it, it even has the legend of the Crystal Egg. Also? Mykan knows something else about that egg. When we get to it, it's going to be so blatant of an asspull...yeah.
In the sky fortress, Ebbie is waiting to make his wish, and he assembles...a shitload of Super Redcoats. He tells them that it's the day where a new world order will occur, and the villains applaud. Even Malakar, who is just waiting to see if Ebbie's merely using him. Then what the hell was the point of his issues a few chapters back?
Back in Pennsylvania, as Sarah waters the plants, a solar eclipse happens. Oh, wait, no, the sky fortress is obscuring the sun. Oh, so now we're ripping off "Countdown to Destruction", eh? How fitting.
Ebbie taunts the citizens as the Rangers morph. They beat the mooks, but it's too late, for the villain is making his wish. And no, he is not going to make a contract with Kyubey.
...it's kind of weird when I make yet another half-baked Madoka Magica joke when the man responsible for it will make a Toku series. And that's your "WTF?" of the day!
The wish comes true, and immediately, all of the figurines are brought to life. Every single villain, from Rita Repulsa all the way to Necrolai, with special guest star Dark Specter!
...also...
- "From Power Rangers Light-speed Rescue"
IT'S "LIGHTSPEED RESCUE"! NOT "LIGHT-SPEED!"
- "From Power Rangers Time-Force: Ransik and Nadira's Mutated forms"
(Rika facepalms)
I pity any single one of the fans of any series. But we can look on one bright side! At least the villains from Overdrive all the way to Megaforce won't get butchered, riiiiight?
And, for whatever reason, as the rest of the villains head off to different parts of the globe, the villains from in Space stay put. So, wait, you had...so many opportunities to rip off that series, and yet...gah.
We're almost done with the bullshit, kids.
To make a long story short, the Psycho Rangers, Astronema, and Ecliptor beat the shit out of the others, forcing them to demorph. Hell, even Dark Specter eats Mykan's Deus ex Machina, the Re-animator. The heroes then are taken to the fortress, unconscious, and the chapter ends with Dark Specter releasing a wave that kills people (or turns them to stone). And Ebbie is reveling in it.
...
Also, the Author's Note explains how Mykan did the research and selected 93 people to be the Power Rangers, from the original all the way to Mystic Force. So a suckier version of Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger/Power Rangers Megaforce!
(in the battle...)
Xander: Take this, you overgrown metalhead! (he grows vines in the hopes to ensnare Boomerang Titan, and it succeeds)
Delu-Knight: What?!
(Tori and Dan try to hurry, and they execute the Energetic Surf attack)
Tori: All right! This may be easy...
(but then, the Boomerang Titan grabs a sword...)
Delu-Knight: DELUSION MIRAGE!
(the mecha tries to slash at Catherine, and it's a direct hit!)
Catherine: UGH!
Sean: <Come on, Catherine...you can do this!>
(he has a crystal ball in his hand...what could it be?)
Rika: Next up will be...
Chapter 18: Power Rangers, Unite Part Two
The Rangers wake up, seeing how much of a fucking wasteland the place is. Even better, Ebbie took their morphers. This makes Mykan emo, and Sarah demands why he did it. The answer...
...to make a long story short, he's a screwed-up little kid. As in, his dad? Never gave a shit about him, he only cared about money and power. He realized that he would need to become his opposite from his old man, and...wait a second, money and power aside, this was Wes' backstory, wasn't it?
Still, this is Disproportionate Retribution to the max. Taking over the world...just because no one cares. What?!
Oh, and it gets even better! After the assault, Ebbie will re-create the world in his own image. And the villains would kill the Rangers. What the fucking shit.
Ebbie summons the Redcoats to stand guard, and we get all those lovely scenes of the villains destroying everything. Mykan still remains emo, and I've already used up my references to "Crawling" or "Untitled".
That is, until the Rangers tell him how great or how much of a genius he is. This, by the way, snaps him out of the funk, and he breaks free from the chains. The adrenaline also allows him to free the others. All while...the redcoats don't do anything.
Except for getting their asses kicked, as Malakar finds out the hard way. He warns Ebbie while he and the other villains gloat, and the Rangers...somehow...find their morphers. Even though Malakar had it in a bag.
What?
Ebbie, in his own foolishness, thinks that the Crystal Egg will be rendered useless, and he has Malakar fight against them. While he has a hovercraft, the little coward.
Oh, and it gets even better. Malakar and the redcoats play keep-away with the egg once they see the Rangers. As for Dark Specter and Ebbie? He presses a button to make the fortress crumble. Because not giving a shit about anyone seems to be a thing.
Mykan obtains the egg, and as everyone falls, he makes a wish to survive it. And they do, while Ebbie thinks that the Rangers are dead. Little by little, they get the rocks off of them, and they wonder one thing...just how can they survive it, and how did Mykan make a wish? Answer: a really big asspull that'll be revealed in the next chapter. Speaking of, it ends with the Rangers heading to safety, while an irate Malakar swears revenge.
I will say this. At least the whole revenge thing, even if it's kinda all-of-a-sudden, does get mentioned.
(later...)
(Matoi shoots at the robot with the Tire Attacks, but it has no effect!)
Delu-Knight: Bah! They still think they can take me?!
(the Boomerang Titan then throws several small boomerangs at the team, making them fall)
Catherine: Now you're just not being fair!
(she tries to pummel Delu-Knight with the punches, but he blocks the final punch and knees her in the torso)
Sean: Okay, that's enough. (he reveals the crystal with the Mystic Force emblem...)
ULTIMATE RED ADVENT, MAGICAL SOURCE, MYSTIC FORCE!
(not only does Sean morph into the Ultimate Red Mystic Ranger...)
I think it's time for me to help my...sort-of Other.
(he concentrates, and with his Delusion Power, he grows giant and becomes the Ultimate Mystic Phoenix
◊)
Ha! Never knew I could do that!
Jason: I told you it can happen!
Catherine: S-Sean?! Is that...
Sean: Yes, Cath...it's me.
Delu-Knight: What?! A special kind of—oh, wait. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised!
(...then the boomerang comes straight at the two hero mecha!)
Alex: Oh, sh—
(with quick thinking, he tosses one of the disks in the air, causing the boomerang to change direction)
Sean: What was that?
Ayumi: It was the boomerang...I have no idea how a disk deflected the attack, but...
(she shakes her head)
We must destroy the machine!
Ryota: That's right! Come on, guys, let's pull out the stops!
(the fight continues, and the other All-Stars continue to distract Delu-Knight while Catherine and Sean double-team)
Rika: Two down. Three to go.
Chapter 19: Power Rangers, Unite Part Three
As Ebbie still continues to gloat...somehow, Malakar flips his shit and fights against his former master. It ends as well as you'd expect, with Ebbie weakening the former advisor and using him as a slave.
The villains celebrate, until the Rangers arrive...again. And this time, they're not alone. When Master Org and Master Vile taunt them over how they're outnumbered...enter literally every single person the Rangers befriended. So much for keeping their secret identities a secret now!
Ebbie just wonders just how it can happen. Turns out that there's an asspull: anyone else who makes a wish for good purposes instead of evil ones will get unlimited wishes. I am not making this up. This literally turns the Rangers into a Sue-ish team!
No, a God Mode Sue-ish team!
The Rangers, with the wish, not only managed to get all those people free from being turned to stone, but guess what. They all have the gifts and knowledge of all Power Rangers.
(Rika is seething)
That is so contrived...what do you want to bet that things will get worse—oh, wait. The allies transform into the Rangers. Even the kids get their adult-sized Ranger forms.
...
(Rika's voice breaks)
And this includes, for one thing, most of the fucking chosen Lightspeed Rangers.
(this turns Rika back into her normal self, and she shrieks)
You ripped off both Lightspeed and Time Force. Now...you throw away everything I liked about the series by doing this. Making a lot of people morph. Some of whom are kids, for God's sakes! And, since we don't know much about some of the people you made up...
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!
And I know that I'm being a hypocrite, but...since, it looks like, Deborah Sampson is the Yellow Ranger, how fucking cool would have it been if she was the Red Lightspeed Ranger? I know what you're thinking, "Rika, are you insane?" Well...in the series proper (Liberty's Kids), she was voiced by Whoopi Goldberg. Who, if anyone ever watched Captain Planet back in the day, was the first voice for Gaia.
Let me run this by you again: how fucking awesome would have it been if Gaia was the Red Lightspeed Ranger?!
Also. Some of the Founding Fathers also become Rangers. George Washington, to name an example, is the Red Space Ranger. Okay, now it's becoming a bit interesting, especially with the first President going to become even cooler than Andros.
So I ask you this...or, should I say, a certain other Troper (Etheru) ask this...
Short answer: by being fuckin' lazy.
Long answer...after morphing, the Rangers take their respective targets. Oh, and Mykan wishes for the Re-animator to have a self-destruct function, where, once he dies, the not-really-Z-wave would bring everything back to normal.
...what was this about wishes of death and destruction making the Egg's future wishes become null and void, again?
And so...the chapter ends with the original "Rangers" defeating Master Vile's forces.
(Rika then grabs a bottle of sake and takes a very long drink)
Chapter 20: Power Rangers, Unite Part Four
In the Author's Note, he says that he won't put into too much detail in the Ranger/Zord fights, and he'll just write down basics, so the readers can use their imaginations on how it all goes down.
Spoiler alert: every single villain gets their asses kicked.
Okay, not everyone. There are some who still survive. Namely, Rita, Zedd, Master Vile, King Mondo, Divatox, Astronema, Ecliptor, Captain Mutiny, Trakeena, Queen Bansheera, Ransik, Master Org, Lothor, Mesogog, Emperor Gruumm, and Morticon.
As for Dark Specter? Not only does he make the remaining villains grow, but some of the human ones? Take on monster forms. Okay, Trakeena I can understand, and Master Org I can understand, but...everyone else?
Oh, and Dark Specter also grows. Joy.
The Rangers discuss what to do, and they realize one thing. They can summon their Zords, and they do. Long story short there, even with the Carrier Zords, the Rangers defeat the villains. Aaaaaand cue the not-really-Z-wave healing everything.
You think this would be the end of the tale. You're dead wrong. For there is one final chapter left.
(at the battle...)
Jason: Mao, Alex, are you ready?
Alex: Oh, yeah!
Mao: Ready.
(all three prepare their Gokai Guns and Sabres)
Jason: GOKAI BLAST AND SLASH!
(the trio execute the attack, damaging Boomerang Titan a bit)
Delu-Knight: Your puny weapons aren't no match for ME!
(he tries to slice them all, but Xander ties the hands up with the vines)
Xander: Your cliches aren't going to work this time, mate!
(Xander, Tori, and Dan combine the energy, water, and earth powers, forming a giant Energy Ball and blasting it at Delu-Knight's mecha)
Delu-Knight: GAH! (he's tossed around)
Christopher: Okay, this is getting boring! Guys, prepare your blasters!
(he's speaking to Naoki, Ayumi, and Alyx)
Ready, aim...(to Delu-Knight) TASTE LASER, MOTHERFUCKER!
(at that command, all four blast at the Boomerang Titan's torso)
Yeah, baby!
Naoki: <Someone's having fun...hopefully we win it!>
(Matoi shoots the beams at Delu-Knight as well, and after that...)
(Mako, Michael, Agri, and Ryota prepare their weapons)
Mako: I think it's time to do another combination attack!
Michael: Combination?
Mako: Yeah...just trust me! (she nods)
Michael: Very well.
(his sword's wreathed in electricity and ice, and the duo rush...)
Mako: Spiral Sword...
Michael: Ultimate Elemental Dance!
(Mako's Super Shinkenmaru and Michael's ninja-to slice through the machine, making it unusable. Ryota then slashes with the trident, and Agri with his Landick Axe, as well...)
(...which now leaves Catherine and Sean. The duo prepare themselves...)
Catherine: Time's up for you, Delu-Knight! (her fists are wreathed in flame...) MEGA FIRE PUNCH!
(she punches Boomerang Titan, and Sean leaps up)
Delu-Knight: What?!
(with a yell, and a lack of any fancy calling out attacks, Sean executes the Flying Phoenix Kick, with his kicking leg wreathed in flame as well. With the kick, it defeats the—)
(oh, wait. After that, Boomerang Titan stands up, weakened but ready to fight)
Mao: You've gotta be fucking kidding me! Another fake-out?!
Christopher: You can say that again! (shakes head in disgust)
Delu-Knight: Ha! For as long as I have control...you will fall! No matter what attacks you throw at me, I will still stand! Nothing can stop me now—
(...and then the boomerang hits Boomerang Titan, and it falls over, exploding and defeating Delu-Knight. Everyone stands stunned as if to say, "WTF?"...except for Alex)
Alex: All-Stars, victory is ours! :D
(you can hear a cricket chirp)
Jason: Alex...what did you do?
(Alex tells the group everything)
...
Naoki: Well, at least the threats are gone! That's a good reason to celebrate!
(Catherine and Sean return back to their normal human sizes...but they soon find that they're stuck in their mecha forms!)
Sean: Okay, what the hell is going on now? Why can't we...?!
(...and then, Michael, Ayumi, and Tori feel like they're going to faint)
Catherine: Michael? Are you—
Naoki: A-Ayumi? Tori?!
(the trio then disappears in a time vortex, stunning the All-Stars!)
Mao: What the fuck?! Seriously...is someone trying to play us?
Ryota: This isn't good...capturing some of the All-Stars? Not cool!
(Catherine is stunned the most of all, losing her son...)
Catherine: ...where did he go?
(on that cliffhanger note, Rika sighs)
Rika: So. Are you ready? Because...it all ends now.
Chapter 21: Go Power Rangers, Go Power Rangers
Ebbie is unhappy with what's going on, and Malakar becomes human again, cheering for the Rangers and...kind of making a Heel Face Turn, I guess? The 93 Rangers then demorph, for once that battle was over, the powers were an one-time thing. No Ranger knowledge, no power, just the memories.
That's one lesson never taught from History class.
Sarah then realizes that the battle isn't over, for there's still Ebbie. Mykan has his Battlizer, and Vlad summons four extra seats for his Strata-Cycle, and the Rangers chase after their nemesis. Yeah...
Ebbie is still fuming over everything that has been lost. The fortress, the plan, even the magical powers and that Crystal Egg. And it's impossible to even find another one.
The Rangers take the battle to the skies...kind of, when they do manage to reach him. Vlad plays Human Cannonball with his brother, and he shoots Mykan like a damn rocket, landing in the sled. Oh, and Ebbie lets go of the controls. This causes them to land into the Big Ben.
...okay, this sounds so familiar. Ripping off The Great Mouse Detective much, Dakari-King Mykan?
To sum up the crazy, Ebbie tries to punch Mykan, and Malakar bites his captive! This causes Ebbie to drop his former servant, and of course Mykan rescues him. They run to the Strata-Cycle, and no sooner that Malakar makes it that Ebbie rushes out and tackles Mykan.
The two fight on the hour hand, and it's almost 9:00 P.M. Ebbie eventually has the Red Ranger lose his grip, and when all seems lost...of course he grabs onto the sled.
- Mykan: "ISN'T IT PAST YOUR BEDTIME!"
...that is one of the lamest one-liners ever.
The chimes resonate, causing Ebbie to fall off...and grabbing Mykan. Eventually, the sled's back part can't hold them, and they fall. Mykan makes a heroic sacrifice...no matter how much it's ripped off.
Oh, wait. No, he doesn't. Rather, Mykan uses the jets to get to safety. As for Ebbie? He's dead. Welp, looks like you guys got a murder case on your hands if you ever return to the future, Mykan and Vlad!
Speaking of...as they celebrate and Malakar gets a new life, Mykan and Vlad realize that the space-time road will close in two hours. Once that happens, they'll be stuck in the past forever. Which doesn't explain why it was okay for them to go back and forth into the past—
You know what, screw it, we're almost done with the story!
Ben gives Mykan a necklace, and the Red Ranger allows the others to keep the morphers as gifts. They say their good-byes, even to Victoria. The brothers then head off with the Strata-Cycle, and...we leave that world with some more fucking shipping between James and Sarah.
Good God.
In 2176, Mykan then tells Vlad that he'll never smile again. You know what? I lied about running out of jokes about one of the songs in particular.
(Rika clears her throat)
"HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEE~"
Oh, and when did they return? A few days before the science fair. Before the entire mess happened. As for Ebbie, well, he's no longer evil, or even dead. He now has friends and successes to his name.
Get this, too. Vlad takes Mykan to a place where they would have the re-enactments of the Revolutionary War...and a plaque with six stone statues. The Revolutionary Rangers. This makes Mykan smile, and Ebbie take note on just how much a couple of the stone figures look like them.
Vlad and Mykan, though? Never tell anyone about their adventures, so that way, no one can do the same thing. Then again, this never stops them upgrading their morphers and making new ones. Even presenting them to the media, even! Because...fuck secret identities!
And so...this stupid, stupid story ends with these final words.
- "Vlad and I had finally brought Power Rangers to life, and every time I morphed into Red Ranger, I would always take a moment to remember…"Those glorious days… that I was a proud Member, and the leader of Power Rangers Revolution!"
Until someone else decides to do something just more than fucking up time and space. I hear that fucking up reality's the in thing now!
(Rika gives a cheesy thumbs-up)
Oh, and we get the ending theme song.
(cue this playing as a title card, "MISSION COMPLETE!", appears, and then Rika shoves the card out of the way, effectively ending the song)
No. But it is a hell of a lot fitting than what we do get. And we have the Author's Note stating about how he created his new series of Rangers, and if they have ideas of any episodes, well, they can e-mail him. And he must leave, for there are other stories to write.
Naturally, why he writes all those stories...is indeed a lot more twisted than most.
And now...more than ever...
MISSION COMPLETE!
So that was Power Rangers: Revolution, and hoo boy. I've never seen a more lazy attempt at storytelling than...my own attempt. It doesn't know if it can rip off either Lightspeed Rescue (which it does more often than most) or Time Force, the characterization's bland as hell, and the shipping's obnoxiously...stagnant.
And while I was initially on board with Vlad, more often than not, he did grate on me. Whether it's his attitude (one-notely cocky as hell) or his endless cliched lines, or the fact that, oh, I don't know, he fucking ripped off Carter Grayson!, it comes off more as annoying than cute or clever. Or anything positive.
As for the stuff it doesn't rip off, I can think of many series that not only do some of those things, but pull it off even better. Speaking of, you just wonder that even the non-Power Rangers stuff that does get lifted wholesale, someone would just take notice.
Overall, Power Rangers: Revolution...is not a good story; rather, it's infuriating and bland as hell. But I can say one positive thing about it. Actually, two.
First and foremost, it seems like it's one of the rare few fanfics where Dakari-King Mykan doesn't really rage at any character, like he does for any other fanfic. Or write it just because he's pissed off at something. Because I have taken a glance at some of the other ones where he is angry, and at least one manages to be so hilariously bad.
The second positive thing I can say is that, perhaps, it may give me a chance to look at Time Force. Say what you will about that series, but I've heard that it had decent characterizations. Never mind the fact that Trip, Katie, and Lucas are pretty underused compared to Jen, Wes, and eventually Eric. Never mind the fact that "Time for Lightspeed" sucks ass (and hopefully, "Legendary War" can undo the suckiness from both that team-up and the also-hilariously-bad "Trakeena's Revenge").
(Rika sighs)
This has been Rika Liveblogs vs. Power Rangers: Revolution. Until next time, see--
(she then starts to grow faint)
W...what the hell?
(she starts to fade...)
Oh, shit.
(like Michael, Tori, and Ayumi, she's sucked into a time vortex!)
(in the shadows, the figure watches)
???: I initially didn't want to capture more than two, but they will do. This will cause the All-Stars to lose control, losing what they care for.
As for Sean and Catherine...such power the two have. Hopefully, as long as they remain stuck in their mecha forms, it would suppress it.
When the All-Stars fall into despair...that is when I'll strike. They will wish they haven't met me!
(the figure laughs darkly)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I would like to thank the players from We Are Our Avatars for the help of some of the arcs*, and Psyga315 and Etheru for the lowdown on Dakari-King Mykan; without them, this liveblog will not be.
And I do apologize for how rushed it all was...I admit having a huge case of Writer's Block, coupled with how uninspired the fic was, which did not help.
This may be my last liveblog for TVT for a while, because I just want to break up liveblogging bad stuff. You can, however, follow me on Tumblr, for I will continue to liveblog regularly there, especially with the continuation.
Finally, I would like to thank my readers for reading it.
