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Live Blogs The Adventure of Failure Shepard or How Not to Play the Mass Effect Trilogy
lrrose2013-03-14 20:19:53

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Mass Effect 3 opens with Admirals Hackett and Anderson discussing something really bad approaching Earth. We cut to an Alliance base in Vancouver where Commander Failure Shepard has been placed under house arrest for "the shit [he's] done." A soldier named James Vega visits Shepard's room to tell him that Anderson wants to see him.

Anderson reveals that the Reapers are most likely en route to Earth and a committee wants Fail Shep's input. At the door to the room the committee is meeting in, Fail Shep runs into the recently promoted Major Kaidan Alenko. Kaidan's still pissed about the Cerberus thing, so he and Fail Shep bicker for a bit.

The committee proves to be useless. After panicking about the impending Reaper invasion for a while, the committee members turn around to find a Reaper rights outside their window. They get blasted and Fail Shep and Anderson make a run for it.

James and Kaidan have already made it to the Normandy and are waiting for Shepard and Anderson to make it to the spaceport. Fail Shep encounters a kid hiding in a vent. He tries to get the kid to come with him, but he refuses. Eventually, Fail Shep and Anderson get cornered by an infinitely respawning swarm of husks. After Fail Shep fires all his ammo into the air, the Normandy shows up and saves them. Anderson decides to stay on Earth to start La RĂ©sistance. He tells Fail Shep to go to the Council for help retaking Earth.

Sad music starts playing. As the Normandy departs Earth, Fail Shep spots the kid from before boarding an escape shuttle. The Reapers blow him up. The Normandy escapes Earth and passes through the debris field from the Alliance ships the Reapers have destroyed. The camera shows that large parts of Earth are burning. Cue title screen.

Author's Note: While I don't have any strong opinions about The Boy, I do like the departing Earth scene, both for its soundtrack and because the sight of Earth on fire is actually pretty damn chilling. Back to the liveblog.

After learning that Joker is still piloting the Normandy, Fail Shep receives a garbled transmission from Admiral Hackett. Hackett orders him to investigate the Mars Archives before fleeing the Sol System. Liara has been working there and seems to have found something that can win the war.

Death List:

  • Countless Mooks and civilians
  • Jenkins (Squadmate, Plot)
  • Nihlus (Plot)
  • Fist
  • Stirling
  • Anoleis
  • Gianna
  • Ventralis
  • Benezia (Plot)
  • Rachni Queen
  • Peak 15 Scientists
  • Talitha
  • Conrad
  • Jeong
  • Zhu's Hope Colonists
  • Fai Dan (Plot)
  • The Thorian (Plot)
  • Shiala
  • Tonn Actus (Mission)
  • Wayne
  • Toombs
  • Kirrahe
  • Menos Avot (Plot)
  • Droyas (Plot)
  • Ganto Imness
  • Ashley (Squadmate, Love Interest)
  • Saren (Plot)
  • Sovereign (Plot)
  • Pressly (Plot)
  • Fail Shep (Plot, Resurrected)
  • 20 Normandy Crewmen (Plot)
  • Wilson (Squadmate, Plot)
  • Prazza (Plot)
  • Whitson
  • Jaroth (Plot)
  • Garm (Plot)
  • Jentha (Plot)
  • Tarak (Plot)
  • Kuril (Plot)
  • Jedore (Plot)
  • Okeer (Plot)
  • Daniel
  • Abducted Horizon Colonists (Plot)
  • Kal'Reeger
  • Kureck (Mission)
  • Aresh
  • Niftu Cal
  • Wasea (Mission)
  • Nassana (Mission)
  • Niket (Mission)
  • Enyala (Mission)
  • Weyrloc Guld (Mission)
  • Maelon
  • Rael'Zorah (Plot)
  • Talid
  • Legion (Squadmate)
  • Thane (Squadmate)
  • Garrus (Squadmate)
  • The Original Crew of the Normandy SR-2, including:
    • Kelly (Quasi-Love Interest)
    • Gardner
    • Ken and Gabby
  • Jacob (Squadmate)
  • Mordin (Squadmate)
  • Grunt (Squadmate)
  • Miranda (Squadmate)
  • Tali (Squadmate)
  • Collector General (Plot)
  • Zaeed (Squadmate)
  • The Boy (Plot)

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