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Live Blogs The Adventure of Failure Shepard or How Not to Play the Mass Effect Trilogy
lrrose2013-02-28 09:42:46

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My computer crashed while I was typing this, but my browser remembered what I typed. I love modern technology.

Miranda asks Fail Shep for some help: she was created by a wealthy businessman to become the perfect heir to his legacy. However, Mr. Lawson was a colossal dick, so Mirnada ran away from home as soon as she was old enough, taking her twin sister, Oriana, with her. Unfortunately, Mr. Lawson has tracked down Oriana, so Miranda has to move her to a secret location with Fail Shep's help.

The mission gets more complicated when it is revealed that Mr. Lawson hired Eclipse to capture Oriana. Miranda's best friend, Niket, recommends that Fail Shep and Miranda distract the mercs while he smuggles Oriana to safety.

It turns out that Oriana is only sort of Miranda's twin sister: they were created from the same DNA, but Oriana was "born" when Miranda was a teenager. Miranda kidnapped her when she was a baby. When Niket learned of this, he chose to side with Mr. Lawson and attempts to smuggle Oriana to the Eclipse. Miranda executes Niket for his betrayal and she and Fail Shep fight the Eclipse leader, Enyala.

Miranda is tempted to speak to Oriana, but Fail Shep convinces her that it is too risky.

Back on the Normandy, Miranda and Jack get into a fight: Jack is pissed at Miranda for refusing to acknowledge that Cerberus endorsed the Pragia experiments while Miranda views Jack as being unstable to the point where she is a threat to the mission. Fail Shep tells Miranda to stop insulting his girlfriend. This drives a rift between Fail Shep and Miranda, undoing any bonding between the two that happened during this mission.

Death List:

  • Countless Mooks and civilians
  • Jenkins (Squadmate, Plot)
  • Nihlus (Plot)
  • Fist
  • Stirling
  • Anoleis
  • Gianna
  • Ventralis
  • Benezia (Plot)
  • Rachni Queen
  • Peak 15 Scientists
  • Talitha
  • Conrad
  • Jeong
  • Zhu's Hope Colonists
  • Fai Dan (Plot)
  • The Thorian (Plot)
  • Shiala
  • Actus
  • Wayne
  • Toombs
  • Kirrahe
  • Avot (Plot)
  • Droyas
  • Imness
  • Ashley (Squadmate, Love Interest)
  • Saren (Plot)
  • Sovereign (Plot)
  • Pressly (Plot)
  • Fail Shep (Plot, Resurrected)
  • 20 Normandy Crewmen (Plot)
  • Wilson (Squadmate, Plot)
  • Prazza (Plot)
  • Whitson
  • Jaroth (Plot)
  • Garm (Plot)
  • Jentha (Plot)
  • Tarak (Plot)
  • Kuril (Plot)
  • Jedore (Plot)
  • Okeer (Plot)
  • Daniel
  • Abducted Horizon Colonists (Plot)
  • Kal'Reeger
  • Kureck
  • Aresh
  • Niftu Cal
  • Wasea
  • Nassana
  • Niket
  • Enyala

Comments

Peteman Since: Dec, 1969
Feb 28th 2013 at 10:13:24 AM
Can I suggest you include (Mission) as one of the causes of death? Some of these missions are optional, but if you do them, their death is unavoidable.
Peteman Since: Dec, 1969
lrrose Since: Dec, 1969
Feb 28th 2013 at 11:37:56 AM
Good idea. I'll start next update.
lrrose Since: Dec, 1969
Feb 28th 2013 at 11:38:37 AM
If anyone's curious, I have the death list in a textfile, so I just Copy + Paste it everyupdate instead of rewriting it all the time.
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