We open to Li'lpip listening to a recording from Diamond Tiara, made just after the megaspells hit, talking about how they could see the explosion that took out Manehatten from the prison (She was part of the prison staff, not a prisoner.) and worrying, well what you would expect anyone or pony to be worrying about after something like that.
The two of them are slowly sneaking through the building, and, kind of funny that Li'lpip felt the need to specifically state they WEREN'T looting everything in sight, just because they didn't want to tip somepony off they had been there by everything not nailed down AND on fire being gone, also a nice little dig/lampshade of one of the odder game mechanics, which does not apply to FOE
I figured once we got back to the train-fort of Gawd, I’d pass him Zebra Infiltration Tactics to peruse himself. (It’s not as if books can only be read once, after all.)
They make it up to the office that their objective is in, but the leader of the camp and a guard are blocking Li'lpip from the safe, so after a quick reminder of how well Calamity's plans tend to work, they ask "What would Velvet Remedy do?" and rather surprisingly, especially to Calamity, Lil'pip goes with it. "just walk up and ask nicely." He gives some of the more obvious armament to Calamity and tells him to hide.
While waiting for Calamity to get secured she listens to more of DT's log, showing more standard "what's going on" worry, and then, for a reason she couldn't understand, all the guards fled, leaving her the codes to free the prisoners if she wanted, leaving her in a dilemma, leave them to starve, or let them free, knowing that some of them are admitted Zebra helpers, and apparently helped plan an assassination attempt against Princess Celestia...at Shattered Hoof Ridge....the place Big Mac sacrificed himself.....hmmmmm.
And, the scene between Li'lpip and Deadeyes just seems, weird, she pops into the office, gets a few threats, and then offered a chance to join if she runs a few errands, which entailed delivering a letter. just, felt, odd. Though we find out why later.
While getting escorted out, she gets two little tidbits of information, one, not all the ponies in this place are bandits or raiders, some are just ponies that had no where left to go, that simply needed the protection, and don't participate in any of the more, evil, actions, simply working around the camp and, this is a good touch, showing that, in this instance, she can't just go "kill em all" with a clear conscious, most of these ponies haven't done any wrong, and were the victims, simply needing protection after having been hurt by slavers and raiders before.
The other being the DJ-PON 3 thinks she died freeing the slaves in New Appleloosa.
Another log entry shows why the rest of the staff fled and left DT there, fail-safe protocols activated shorty afterwards that totally sealed the compound, preventing any pony from leaving, and she didn't find out till she had opened the cells. She grabs what food she can and hides, knowing what the inmates would do to her.
While being flown to deliver the letter, her and Calamity fly over and find a rather large camp of slavers belonging to Red Eye camped not far from the prison. She doesn't mention this yet to Deadeyes, though is given permission to stay there the night, and told she'd have one more little errand in the morning to prove herself to him. And she takes the opportunity to raid his office later and get the ledger out of the safe she was sent for, only to have him come in just as she closes the safe, trapping her on his desk, she was using a stealth buck just to be safe so was invisible.
While there she learns they knew she was from Gawd, and wanted her to give her the info. Also, apparently the slaver army nearby, was going to attack the compound in two days, with Deadeyes simply letting them in to capture all the ponies in their that he was supposed to be protecting. When two ponies burst in the room to say there is a pegasus intruder in the compound, Li'lpip makes her escape.
Returning to Gawd, Li'lpip warns her she's being set up by Deadeyes, and bargains with her for a decent, safe, nights sleep for all of them in exchange for tipping her off, and promising to tell her something else vitally important. Before bed she looks through the ledger she stole before giving it to Gawd
And she finds what she thought she would, Deadeyes was responsible for what happened to Silver bell's family.
Now I didn’t want to sleep. Now I wanted to march back in there, stuff Little Macintosh down Deadeyes’ throat, and open fire.
Yes, violent, harsh, and out of context does make Li'lpip seem rather bloodthirsty, but she just learned this pony was responsible for Silver Bell's family, Deadeye's deserves much, much, much worse. And her feeling like this is not the norm, it's the outlier, and as always, one of her major flaws is she lets her rage and anger get the better of her, especially in situations where innocent ponies are hurt. As well, this just shows how much and how quickly the Wasteland changed her. Yes she is quick to turn to violence, because that's what you have to do to survive.
before they head to sleep Velvet talks to him about a pony named Preacher, who claims to speak for "The Goddess" and claims that Redeye is also a pony speaking for her, but that he isn't hearing her right, or isn't carrying out her will right. Leading Li'lpip to wonder if there isn't some kind of telepathy being used, if that was how the slavers that attacked the train got organized and attacked them so quick after New Appleloosa.
We finish with the end of DT's log. The inmates found her, were breaking down the door, and rather then let them have her, knowing what they would do, she slashes her own neck on a peice of mirror and kills herself, having a small moment as the blood loss takes hold where she ponders just what her Cutie Mark meant.
Perk: Better abilities at sneaking. not bad
Thoughts, well, very good set up, decent overall. Li'lpip getting a bit bloodthirsty for Deadeyes is wholly understandable given what she had just seen with Silver Bell. And again totally justified, especially when added into knowing about his upcoming betrayal.
Then we have the DT scenes, they. okay they seem to me to be the only things that just come off a bit mean, they don't really have any real purpose in the plot or story, just a little tale that ends very very badly and, well given it's DT hear, could be easy to see as a Take That! to her for being her.
That said, I do think it was well done, well written, and really made you feel. it's just, of everything in the fic, the one part that felt a bit unnecessary and could have been dropped without effecting anything else. it's sort of Big-Lipped Alligator Moment though tragic instead of weird.
Really, if it had been another pony it might not seem that way either, but with DT being the one, it kind of gives off a vibe of being mean and cruel to her for being a bully and being a pony that a lot of people hate. Not saying that's how it was meant, just, that's how it could come off.
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