More Gay Romping Through Schools At Night! The Rebirth Of Iniquitus!

Iniquitus The Third
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Episode 2: Miss T-Bone & The Long-Ass Character Names

Uh, hey, so I ended up having a few problems with my handle and also needed to fix my PSP when it stopped working.

But! Never let it be said that laziness is my only failing, because my stubbornness would take offense to that!

The first two updates can be found here, and here's the third one of the bunch!


And thus, we are returned to the shoes of Naoka Chiga, intrepid heroine of a high school anime with floating coffins at night. :toot:

  • Yukari: Whatcha dooo-ing?
  • Naoka: Crap! Um, j-just looking around..
  • Y: ...Why are you staring at my waist?
  • N: (She doesn't seem to have her gun today, at least...)
  • Y: ...Listen, iof there's ever anything you want to talk—
  • N: YEP EVERYTHING'S FINE HERE GOTTA GO

> A FUDGELOAD OF STAIRS LATER

  • N: If I (huff) miss a (huff) plot event because (huff) of these (huff) f@$*ing (huff) stairs...

> MEANWHILE, AT THE PLOT

  • Mysterious Student: Man, we totally owned those losers who have to type all these obnoxious names out because I haven't been referred to by name in-game, huh?
  • Mitsuru: Yeah, yeah, just hurry up and name-drop future plot points, Gaara.
  • MS: Fine. Apathy Syndrome, THEM, implied monster attacks. We cover everything?
  • Mitsuru: Sounds about right... AKIHIKO! (dun dun duuuun!)
  • Naoka: *distantly* Son of a BITCH!


> The next day...

  • Gossiping Student: Ohmahgawd, didya totally hear about the ~mysterious~ disaster that has a connection to the plot of this game last night! Like, ohemgee!
  • Loud Student: I'M SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF HOW LOUD MY CHARACTER IS SEE IT'S IN MY NAME EVEN.
  • GS: Ugh! Like, shut uuuup, Zoah, gawd, and lemme exposit about zombie schoolkids. They're sooo, like, gross and vacant. Lucky I'm not like that.
  • Loud Student: WHAT DID YOU SAY TOILETS I THINK YOU DID SAY TOILETS.

> Suddenly, education!

  • Miss Toriumi: Sup, bitches! You ready to crack down and get yoself an ejamahcashun?
  • Naoka: Every day I pray I'm actually in a coma.
  • Miss T-bone: A'ight, first up is this homie called Zenzou Kasai, who wrote, like, funky shit. Man, next time y'all are high, try sayin' his name ten times fast. Shit be wack. But, honestly, he's a foo', so let's leave dat bitch by the wayside an' get chattin' about Utsobo Kubota. Now, that guy's properly wack.
  • Student: Uh, Miss... Sh-shouldn't we be learning according to the c-curriculum...?
  • Miss T-bone: Hell no! Utsobro got famous by singing an' shit. Can you sing the song of your people, bitch?
  • Student: W-well, n-not really—
  • Miss T-bone: So best check yoself before you wreck yoself, knowwhadarmsayin'? Oi, Junpei-day! What's the real name of Utsubro?
  • Junpei: Gawrsh, Miss, w-well, um... y-you see...
  • Naoka: It's Utsuho Kubota, and you owe me a one.
  • J: Uh, You Owe Me One was his name!
  • Miss T-bone: ...
  • Naoka: Dammit, Junpei.
  • Classmates: Somehow, we don't think of her as a big showoff and being a study fiend is positive!
Naoka became slightly more popular! Charm + 1!
  • Naoka: WHAT

> Class has ended for the day...

  • Naoka: Right, that's over with. Now, I just need to sneak these cameras into the shower rooms, and my internet wealth will flow like a riv—

> There's nothing to do, so you decided to go back to the dorm...

  • Naoka: OH COME ON

> Yukari's chatting with some dude when we get there.

  • Yukari: Hey, Naoka. So, uh, I'd like to introduce you to—
  • Naoka: Who dis foo'?
  • Y: ...
  • Naoka: Wait, sorry, I had Miss T-bone today. Lemme just recalibrate my brain from 'street' mode.
  • Sophisticated Gentleman: Ah, yes, I see. Good evening, Miss Chiga. My name is Shuji Ikutsuki, the Chairman of the Board for... erm, your school.
  • Naoka: You don't know what it's called, do you?
  • Shuji: NO!
  • Yukari: ...
  • Shuji: ...Yes. But enough about that! I'm a hilarious and totally hip guy, who's down with all the cool kids! Any questions?
  • Naoka: Who else even lives here?
  • Shuji: You, Yu, Tsu and this other prick. Any questions?
  • Naoka: Well, no, not real—
  • Shuji: BOOKWORM PUN
  • Naoka: ...Riiight.
  • Yukari: You get used to it.
  • Naoka: Okay. Now, Yukari, I wanted to ask you if you know anything about Paypa—

> You decided to go to your room, sonce there's nothing else left to do.

  • Naoka: ARE YOU KIDDING ME


> Later...

> In 'that' room, where hungry circling air quotes pick out and devour the unguarded undefined nouns...

  • Shuji: 'Sup?
  • Mitsuru: Nothing much. The chick we're spying on through the camera is asleep right now. Might she be one of 'them'?
  • Shuji: Now, now, Mitsuru, be nice to the first-time players. It's my job to use arbitrary nouns. Speaking of which, 'that hour' is approaching...
  • Mitsuru: coughypocrisycough

> Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated location, some dude we don't care about gets high and listen to the radio.

Then...

> HOLY SHIT PINK CLOCK EXCEPT NOW ITS BROKEN AND GREEN AND SHATTERING AWWW SHIT SON

  • Mr Completely Screwed: Huh, everything's green. Did the animation budget run out again?
  • Mr C P: That's odd, I'm starting to bleed. Ah well, better saunter slowly in the direction of hospital.

> Back where people we care about live...

  • Shuji: Yes, 'that hour'... The hour after midnight, Dark Hour. You could call it a hidden hour...
  • Mitsuru: Well, we could. We could also call it something less idiotic.
  • Shuji: Veto'd!
  • Mitsuru: Damn.
  • Yukari: How did I ge— Why are we looking in on her while sleeping?
  • Shuji: Ignore the perving and listen to my exposition! Usually, people turn into coffins, but she hasn't! We've found the protagonist!
  • Mitsuru: Thank goodness. That little blue-haired mute was getting on my ti—
  • Shuji: Let's do this again tomorrow!

> Inside the dream...

  • Myterious Voice: Master Naoka...
  • Naoka: Oh hey, haven't had this dream in a whi— who the hell are you and how much did you hear?
  • Captain Noseface: This place is the Velvet Room, and I am Igor, Master.
  • Naoka: Man, Mary Shelley's gonna slap a ho when she plays this.
  • Igor: I am deliiiighted to make your acquaaaaaintance... Can you feeeeel how soft this veeeeeeeelveeeet iiiiis...?
  • Naoka: ...How long has it been since you've been out of this room?
  • Igor: Waaaaay too looong... This plaaaaace is only acceeeeeesible to those who have siiiiiigned the coooontraaact...
  • Naoka: ...
  • Igor: ...
  • Naoka: ...
  • Igor: ...
  • Naoka: ...
  • /人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\: Boo!
  • Naoka: FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUTTA HERE
  • Igor: hey, wait! I still have to exposit at you!


> You felt like you had a strange dream...

  • Naoka: No shit, narration. Now, I still gotta talk to Yuk—

> It's time to go to school.

  • Naoka: ಠ_ಠ

> At school...

  • Junpei: Man, I spent so much time playing my Visual Novel Games last night that I'm completely knackered!
  • Naoka: Who are you talking to?
  • Junpei: Don't all the cool kids play dating sims?
  • Naoka: The loners, maybe.
  • Junpei: Well, guess it's time to snooze in class to complete the screwing of my future prospects!
  • Naoka: Why do I hang out with you again?

> CLASSIC LIT TIME AWWW YEAH

  • Mr. Ekoda: Konnichiwa, everyone! Wow, it's so sugoi to see you all ready to learn, desu!
  • Naoka: Who even gave this guy a teachers's licence?
  • Mr. Ekoda: The other teachers were all un-kawaii to me today, talking about how there's no room in their kokoros for Classic Lit!
  • Naoka: Oh god, he's boring. Damn my arrogance this morning! Sleep now, and Junpei will have one over me...
  • Mr. Ekoda: ...And that's the plot of my Inuyasha fanfiction. Oh, so apparently we're supposed to learn about this baka Ise Monogatari-san, so, yeah, look that up at some point, class. He wrote a few sugoi stories!
Naoka stayed up, and became smarter! Academics + 1!
  • Naoka: *yawn* Suck it, Junpei... Zzzzzz...

> At the shoe boxes...

  • Yukari: Hey! So, how was your d—
  • Naoka: We are hanging out and by god you are entertaining me so I don't collapse and fall into a coma.

> At the spastically capitalised Paulownia Mall (Instantly-Forgotten Proper Name Counter: 4)...

  • Yukari: So, you been here before? I hear there's a lot of people from our school who come here.
  • Naoka: So, if I try to get a part-time job—
  • Yukari: Everyone will come and laugh. Hey, do you have a fake ID?
  • Naoka: No, we're not sneaking into the nightclub.
  • Yukari: Awww.

> Back to the dorm!

  • Mitsuru: Hey, check out the MOON tonight. Sure is pretty, the MOON that is. You should read a book by the light of the MOON sometime.
  • Yukari: Ahhhhh.
  • Naoka: ?
  • Yukari: Monthly cycle, moody lately... Any of this a-ringing a bell?
  • Mitsuru: Oh, don't mind me, just sending computerised reports about all of us to the school!


Aaaand I think I'll cut this episode off here.

Not a lot happened this time, but I'm pretty sure it's still the intro. If this is actually still the intro, then CHRIST this is a long game and a half.


The Short 'n Sweet Version: Naoka gets introduced to a few locations which will in no way later have an effect on the plot, the narration continously foils her attempts to reap internet money, and everyone else who lives in my dorm gets together at night to watch her sleep.

Comments

Persona 4 is longer.
phoenixdaughterAM 25th Sep 12
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