So, the last chapter ended with Littlepip taking a sneak peak into the memory orbs, which she wasn't supposed to do until after she finished her quest with the Goddess. And she knew when she was making the "table of contents" that this was going to happen, which leads to a thing where she groans at her future self for peaking.
And then at the beginning of chapter 32, Homage finds out and decides to punish Littlepip by locking her out of the house for a while. And Littlepip mopes about it for a bit.
Is there anything this character doesn't angst about? First she angsts about being lonely in Stable 2, then later she angsts because she'll never be able to go back to Stable 2, and then she angsts about how she's in love with Velvet Remedy but she won't reciprocate, and then she angsts about how Velvet hasn't lived up to her fantasies, and she continues to angst about being lonely and horny, and then when she's about to get laid she angsts about how she worries about being crap in bed. I swear, sometimes it seems less like I'm being told a story and more like I'm listening to a therapy session. Wouldn't that be funny. At the end of the story...
Littlepip: I already said pretty much everything. I mean, she isn't a very fleshed-out character
Anyway, then Littlepip walks in on Velvet and Calamity having sex. This leads to a thing where both couples sit down and Velvet and Calamity each give a speech about why they decided to hook up with the other. Calamity's bit has a funny thing about "maybe there is something to your diplomacy thing," as if that's something anyone in this story has ever taken seriously. And part Velvet's similarly eye-rolly thing has something to the effect of her being turned on by how loyal he is to the protagonist. Oh, and part of the reason they hooked up in the first place was because Littlepip thought they were obviously attracted to each other.
Blimey, Littlepip's important. It's a marvel that the sun can rise without her involvement. Actually, scratch that, Littlepip is the sun and the world revolves around her.
Anyway, following this Homage continues to kick Littlepip out of the house, and she spends some time going around the tower before going into yet another memory orb and then waking up in a secluded place in the company of the Twilight Council. They're suspicious of her because of stuff that Homage told her and now they want to look at the memory orbs. Why they couldn't do this when Life Bloom and Homage, who are in their group, did that in the first place I do not know. Anyway, they want to judge that she's fit for knowing about their shit yadda yadda yadda.
Littlepip agrees but calls them a bunch of twits, and I'm inclined to agree. This secret society seems sorta stupid.
Anyway, she agrees, then they take her out of their secret room, and then she reconvenes with Xenith. They go over to Homage's place so she can disguise herself more like a regular pony while they're at Tenpony and go shopping. Homage also says that Xenith is totally hawt and teases Littlepip for staring at her ass. There's also some bullshit about stars and that laser gun Homage has. Anyway, yeah, shopping. Also, one of the memory orbs has the two of them having sex and Littlepip angsts about the Twilight Society looking at it.
This story has now made me hate the numbers thirty-one and eight. This story has ruined math.
Then Littlepip decides that before they go to Canterlot, they should meet up with SteelHooves again, so off to Stable 29. That's the one where the supercomputer killed everything. So they go there and meet with Steely and his band of Outcasts, and they recruit him for the Canterlot expedition, at which point he explains the rules of the Dead Money DLC.
But first, they have Elder Cottage Cheese prisoner. Since he's a sick old bastard, he requests his medical chair. They give it to him, and then there's a panic as he hid some matrix disruption grenades in the lockbox that was on the chair... He. You have the guy, and there's a locked box on his chair, and he asks for the chair, and you never think to investigate the fucking box? Ugh. I get that it was locked, but maybe you could've separated the lockbox from the chair? Or at least brought the mysterious locked box up when he was requesting oh forget it moving on.
Anyway, he takes Strawberry Lemonade hostage and is about to upload his brain into the Crusader Mainframe so that his supreme intellect that we haven't seen can rule over Equestria one day. Littlepip tries to talk him out of it before deciding that isn't going to work and shutting down all the power in the stable. Crazy, she solves a problem in a way that isn't an action scene. That's new. Granted it leaves the guy in a vegetative state, but whatever. Goodbye, character we barely knew.
Anyway, they head over to a place where they're supposed to have the hostage exchange, which is near a town called Arbu (oh boy!) and they kill some bandits who are attacking the town. Someone's daddy gets shot and dies and the Arbu folks take the kid in. They meet with some Steel Rangers and are about to do their deal, when one of the other Rangers goes "kill them all" and while the hapless scribe next to her is all "wtf no you idiot" SteelHooves blasts them to smithereens.
Then the party spends some time in Arbu which is totally a great place except for that crazy guy babbling about how he has a shotgun and they should get away from the town. And that stuff about how they have marks that they receive when they eat the heart of their first kill, which totally doesn't sound suspicious at all and can be chalked up to the radigator farm in town. We also see Gummy, who isn't as cute or funny as he is in the show. Then Littlepip gets all pissy about the Steel Rangers and decides to try to negotiate for some water talismans for the town. So they go there and the Steel Rangers are shitting themselves, one of them accidentally shoots Steely and the party kills them all.
Well, that was stupid. I swear, the Steel Rangers are fucking idiots, man.
Anyway, back to town, and Littlepip sees Gramps going on about "check the basement," so she sneaks into the basement and finds, surprise surprise, dead bodies! The town of Arbu is full of cannibals! Then she comes out and...
Oh.
Oh oh.
Oh lawd.
Comments
