You know, I've found a couple terrible Harry Potter fics that I could make fun of. There's The Girl Who Lived, which is an attempt at rewriting the books except it's hilariously terrible, and The Last War, a shipfic which horrendously derails the characters. Some potential. Haven't looked into any of that Sweeney Todd stuff except for something I've seen sporked. Been kinda lazy there. Been kinda lazy in general.
But let's get on with this Pink Eyes stuff.
Holy shit, the author learned to space and indent paragraphs. Gold star!
Slight tense confusion.
But then, this guy's English is better than my Italian. Thankfully all the Italian I have to do is pre-written and notated.
So Puppysmiles sets off on the road and comes across a couple of ruffians who call themselves the Redtrotters. Of course, they're raiders and they murder her before trying to loot. Though unlike the raiders in Canterlot, they have the sense to back away from the pink cloud leaking out of her suit and thus don't die horribly.
However, the suit magically repairs the breach and Puppysmiles comes to again. Yay.
The suit informs her of her current objectives, modeled after what she's stated. One, fine mom. Two, get rid of space suit. Three, confront and/or avoid Mister Horse Tile. Four, find Redtrotters.
Oh, goodie, we're getting our plot points lined up. Not sure how Horse Tile is supposed to come up again, given he's a ghoul back in Canterlot. Mister Voice tells her how her inventory system works.
Funny.
Anyway, she trots right into the Redtrotters' camp. I do find the scenario funny. We've got a band of hardened gangers making threats at a kid in a spacesuit who is unaware of any danger, and not really in a whole lot of danger because she's a zombie with regenerating powers.
They take something from her and give her a pass, slightly confused about the whole deal, and she goes along her way.
She finds the Ministry of Morale location and prances in, hoping to find her mom. She doesn't find one, however, but she finds a Pinkbot that invites her to a party. And there she finds another guest, a trapped filly who's giggling due to nitrous oxide.
Oh boy, we are taking a turn for the darker.
Puppysmiles makes an effort to free the other filly, but the Pinkbot won't let them leave without an adult's permission. Puppysmiles, however, grabs a rock and starts smashing the robot, angrily demanding to know where her mom is.
Then the robot explodes, and the turrets turn on her. Big explosions, and the barn collapses, burying her alive. Well... burying her undead...
Sheeeeesh, are the turrets set to perforate anyone who attacks the robots? What happens if it's just a rambunctious kid? Gonna perforate a rowdy colt?
She recovers and argues with Mister Voice, who doesn't seem to be able to grasp that she wants to find her mother. Of course, with that Ministry of Morale hub destroyed, Mister Voice just marks the location of the next one.
She runs into Watcher again, who wishes her well, and she sets off on the road again.
However, the two Redtrotters who tried to kill her the other day catch up with her and demand to know how she isn't dead. Also, we learn that the filly Puppysmiles saved was named Ridge Racer.
RIIIIIIII-
No. That stopped being funny seven years ago.
Anyway, they decide she's retarded, one of them, Rattling Bones, gives her a pass to Salt Cube City and thanks her for rescuing her sister from the crazy Pinkbot.
So Puppysmiles asks if Mister Voice is gonna go away once they find mom. Mister Voice replies that the suit's fused to her, so that's a no-go. Puppysmiles decides that's okay for now, and at least Mister Voice finds her requests predictable with 95% accuracy.
Well, that was charming.
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