We're now in the final moments of the pain and suffering inflicted upon us by this plot holed mess. Without further notice, I present the final part of Bratz Rock Angelz.
When we last left our fearless heroes they'd lost their tickets to the Tweevils, the evil villains who are also twins. Yasmin had kept this a secret from her friends until they tickled it out of the handsome and metrosexual Dylan. Now the Bratz need a plan to get into the Save The Universe benefit concert so they can get a scoop for their new magazine.
Yasmin tells the girls that only bands are being allowed into PINZ at the moment (Any band at all?) and while the girls mull this over, they notice a bandage stuck to Yasmin's shoe. It's Kirstee's nose bandage, with the blackheads still on it. They realize the Tweevils stole the tickets and Cloe freaks out, since now she'll have to go home and get a job under fluorescent lights which no amount of make up can make you look good under. Sasha stops her and Jade is not about to give up on her dreams, she remembers what Yasmin said thirty seconds ago. Of course this is where the Rock part comes in. The girls have an "Are you thinking what I'm thinking moment" and they decide to become a rock band. They have less than four hours to write a slammin' song. Seriously. Well, they did renovate an office in a single day by themselves, so their Mary Sue power can't be doubted.
Cloe says it's impossible but Sasha reminds her that her horoscope said "Music was [her] thing and she knows how to make it happen". Aside from the fact that those horoscopes came from Your Thing and that Cloe's blew up in her face, they go with it. Wow girls, basing life's biggest decisions on magazines you hate, way to go. Sasha will work out the moves (How much choreography does a rock band need anyways?), Jade's in charge of wardrobe, Cloe and Yas will write the song, Cameron will be roadie and Dylan will be lead sing-... backup sing-... paparazzi (This Vain Dylan moment is actually pretty funny). Dylan asks about the band name and Sasha comes up with "Sasha's Angelz", but nobody even takes her seriously. Yasmin likes the 'Angelz' part and decides to go with "Rock Angelz". Cloe adds 'Bratz' because we haven't been compelled to go out and by dolls yet and now the band is "Bratz Rock Angelz" now in a store near you!. The girls love, feel and adore it. Sasha, much like a military general, moves them out. It's time for yet another montage set to a song where they buy clothes.
A Royal Guard turns a map right for them and for some reason names of various Bratz doll lines appear while they ride the train because MGA has never heard of subtlety (Including 'Bratz Babyz', time paradox anybody?). Cloe tries on an outfit she should already own (A 'Space Angelz Pop Star's one, there are way too many Angelz lines in the Bratz world) and the girls don't love, feel or adore it. She then tries on a hat bigger than her head and later some star shaped sunglasses, to which they say no as well. Yasmin's got them covered since she found the Rock Angelz outfits. Everybody's hair color has changed, which initially confused me when I was younger because:
a) Everybody has the same character model.
b) Cloe and Jade gain the same skin tone in Rock Angelz mode.
c) Cloe gets black (Jade's natural hair color) and white hair while Jade gets a redhead colour close to Cloe's original blonde, so I always thought Jade was Cloe and Cloe was Jade.
The girls walk across the street, steal some flowers and throw them through the air since their mission is complete. Back in the hotel they're playing air guitar when they realize they forgot to buy guitars, but not to worry since the boys have them covered. They then proceed to play like pros (and also somehow cause them to make drum instrument sounds) while looking like they're being hit in the face by year old tomatoes because there's only 12 minutes left and we don't have time for a guitar training montage.
Back with Burdine, the Tweevils are teaching her some kind of evil mating dance and telling her she looks fabulous while doing it because they hate her.
Back at with the Bratz, Sasha has hired a limo and the Bratz Rock Angelz are off to rock the world. At PINZ (Which looks exactly like the club from the beginning of Genie Magic the Bratz exit their limo (Next to a line which includes Surfer dude, Black 80s mod chick, Blonde vegan girl, Redheaded Vegan girl and Brunette Vegan girl) Dylan pretends to be Paparazzi and somehow convinces the bouncer that the Bratz are a real life rockband. Burdine is also there (Hey, there's Blond Boyband member... twice in the same frame!) and she goes up to flirt with Nigel (Who is there to snark because he apparently has nothing better to do), who is literally half her age and a minor. He tells her to go find herself a surfer boy her fathers age, causing her to freak out and have an asthma attack. The bouncer lets the Bratz Rock Angelz in and Dylan also gets in by blinding him with his Camera. As soon as the Bratz come in Roxxi's band Crash breaks up. She's telling this story to Byron (and telling him she's not ready to go solo) as the Bratz come over to talk to them (There's blond boyband member, redhead vegan girl and blond vegan girl!). Cloe freaks out and calls Roxxi the lead singer of crash. She corrects Cloe, she's the former lead of Crash since they just broke up. Byron is worried, but he sees the girls with their guitars and asks them if they can sing (Because they don't need to play their instruments?). They say yes and Bratz Rock Angelz gains a new member. Note: Roxxi is voiced by Jessica Diccoco, who later voices Sharidan in almost the exact same tone of voice. Talk about lazy.
The Bratz are on stage and Burdine is watching (So are surfer dude and his twin and blond boyband member and his twin, and blonde vegan girl and her twin). The stagehands somewow made a logo for the Bratz Rock Angelz in four seconds. Burdine freaks out and tries to get them off the stage and gets taken away by security.
The announcer says "They're rockin hot and rockin our world." so we should all give it up for the Bratz Rock Angelz. They then proceed to perform So Good (Yasmin and Jade come in from the roof because of Rule of Cool), which transforms into a music video not even thirty seconds in because it looks cool (There's plane-diving and a car race between the Bratz+Roxxi and the boys in which the Bratz' car flies to the moon!). And while they're all playing guitar, there are drums coming from somewhere, I'm assuming it's a backing track. After the performance everybody is psyched, the Bratz were so good, so go out and but this album right now! (Despite the version of the song on the album having different lyrics for some reason) Sasha does play a mean base though.
We're suddenly back in the Bratz office after the trip is over where Cloe tells us that how they became both rock stars and owners of a succesful and influential magazine. They're wearing their 'Funk Out 2' outfits in this scene, which I must mention since they're extremely cute. The trip to London gave them lots of awesome stories, including a quiz about how you should dump your boyfriend if he hates your friends, a Celebrity exclusive with Byron Powell (Who also called them the best band he's ever heard), a fashion scoop for Jade involving the Pretty n Punk look (which does look pretty good as a fashion spread I should add), a Do's and Dont's column because remember; don't get mad, get even! and the scoop of the century; how to make your own rock band. Jade tells us to cheer for girl power and that their magazine was a home run before imagining hitting Burdine with a baseball bat (Well, she's a baseball in this scene, but who imagines these things). The 'Your Thing' poster in the mall is replaced with a 'Bratz' one. Everybody at Stiles High (which looks like every high school from 90s Kid Coms merged into one, oh and there's Surfer Dude and Redheaded Vegan girl) is reading Bratz magazine and at the mall too (There's pink haired goth girl and all three vegan girls!). Due to their success, Burdine ate her weight in Burgers while shouting about defeating the Bratz at the Tweevils. The Bratz also became a successful rock band that toured the world (Seriously, they even had concerts in Egypt and Israel!) and they became BFFs with rock star Roxxi (Who is also in their band). They zoomed to the top of the charts and went gold. they also added one last touch to their office, the cover of their premiere issue of Bratz magazine.
The real Bratz leave and the poster versions come alive. They tell us their the girls with a passion for fashion and they rock. The movie is finally over and the instrumental version of the theme song plays (According to the Credits So Good was performed by the Bratz Rock Angelz and is licensed courtesy of Universal Music, wow... most of the animation was outsourced to India and there were 10 entire people on the hair team!).
Now does that ending I made up seem so ridiculous?
Tune in next time for Magic, Genies and more product shilling in Bratz Genie Magic, here on the Bratz Megaliveblog thing!
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