Now we head off to Route 3. You know, for a game that’s famous for having bad sprites, I haven’t really encountered anything that is positively hideous. John the Butterfree actually looks pretty cool, Eggs the Pidgeotto looks decent for 1st gen standards as does Rose the Nidorina, Eridan the Wartortle looks a little dodgy but Doze the Raticate looks pretty awesome. I wonder where the bad rap for all these sprites came from.
Hey! It’s Shorts Youngster! We always get a good laugh out of Shorts Youngster! Yeah I’ll battle you Shorts Youngster, it’s not like you have anything that...
Oh god.
What the fuck is that
◊? WHAT KIND OF HELLSPAWN HATHE YOU UNLEASED UPON US SHORTS YOUNGSTER (I used to think you were cool :( )? That doesn’t resemble Ekans at all! Hell, it doesn’t look like anything remotely serpentine! It looks like someone hacked off the head of a duck and attached to a piece of rope! God that thing is ugly! Urgh, let's get away from this guy as fast as possible!
So let’s go into the Grass around Mt. Moon, Oh boy I can’t wait to meet my new team member! I wonder who it will be.
Aww, it a cute little Spearow~! Hello little guy, how are you? Wow you’re pretty hyper aren’t you? I’ll call you Itchy (And thanks to some Kana lessons from Sabbo, I literally called him “Ichi” with the kana provided). However, Itchy is a measly level 7 compared to the rest of my team who ar ein their high teams so we better do some grinding! Let’s see what the second Pokemon we encounter is...
Pffftttt..
◊ You guys don’t know how close I was to breaking Nuzlocke rules to catch that thing and name it Sweet Bro. I mean how STONED do you have to be to SPRITE something like that? Its totally trippin’ balls mate!
After a lot of time spent grinding levels to get Itchy on par with the rest of the team and replacing John the Butterfree with Fin the Magikarp (He’s gonna kill you all once he evolves) I decided to explore Mt. Moon (Magikarp has a pretty darn good sprite I must say).
Now I see why these games are considered to have the worst sprites of all time! I mean look at this amateurish mess! It can’t possibly get any worse...
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!
◊
Christ Almighty! What on Earth is this, the cave of horrible abominations? These demons need to be culled as FAST AS POSSIBLE! Oh hey a Moon Stone! Because Nidorina doesn’t learn any decent moves until level 50, we’re gonna cut to the chase and evolve her now.
...Rose?
OH MY GOG! WHAT ON EARTH HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU ROSE?
◊
Obviously, this horrible spiriting is the work of Team Rocket! [S]: Make Them Pay ==>
So after grinding my team to entire team to Level 20 (bar Fin, who is level 11) we took on all the trainers in Mt. Moon and my god did
◊ they
◊ have
◊ some
◊ monstrosities
◊ (They made Sandshrew uncute! The R/B Sandshrew sprite was one of the cutest sprites ever!) We also destroyed Team Rockets nefarious plan to turn the inhabitants of Mt. Moon into mutants but I don’t think it worked. I also caught a Zubat that I’ll probably never use (because it’s so freaking horrifying) but I called it Cans because Theme Naming yo’.
Oh well I guess it’s on to the next patch of grass to get another reserve Pokemon and then onto Cerulean City. The reserve Pokemon ended up being a Sandshrew that I called “Quarters” and I healed my Pokemon to full health.
But we can’t stop here, Fins’ still weak! We must grind him to level 20 so he’s evolve into a murder machine! GRIND GRIND GRIND GRIND!
Hooray! Fin’s now a Level 22 Gyarados (Gyarados actually looks pretty cool too)! The same level as the rest of my team! Dave and Misty, you better watch out.
Pokemon Total: 9
Body Count: 0
Next time, Fool’s rematch with Dave, meeting Bill and VS Misty.
Comments
