Miyako: so you gonna make another one after this story?
Meru: Pretty much.
Too bad it would never get finished from what the date stamps tell me.
Meru:-sighs- let's just get on with the story since we don't have anything
Miyako: righyt-o. Meru does not own Fire Emblem or its character. She only owns Meru and Fayt and their dialogue.
Meru: thanks.
Miyako: no prob.
I feel rather incomplete without the generic wackiness before each of these characters. It's almost saddening.
"Amazing. We've been traveling for miles now, and there hasn't been a single moving person." said Ike.
"And yet the other plants and animals seem completely unaffected. The only creatures turned to stone were laguz and beorc... A miracle of the goddess, indeed." said Nailah.
"mii~ I guess she does have a sense of nature." I said smelling the air.
HRK! Okay, I get that Meru's having some sort of rapid character develop and going from non-emotional empty soul of a person (did we ever even really see her like that?) to a happy and whole person, but does she have to start making random noises like that?
"Worse, they can attack at any moment and we'd have no idea who or where they are. I'll start working on contingency plans." said Soren.
"All right, we'll break here. Everyone, be sure to keep your weapons and supplies in reach tonight." said Ike.
Later that night… "hey Meru." Boyd said coming towards me.
"mii~" I said trying to get my head to face him.
"Ike told us everything. The blood pact, the senators, everything."
"mii~ ok is that all?"
My heart can't take much more of this, it's liable to collapse soon.
"-sigh- baka neko. I was taking a risk when giving that paper. I heard Lekain had spies everywhere watching everything we were doing. I didn't have enough time to tell if he was telling the truth or not. But still, I wasn't going to take that chance, would you Boyd?"
You know, that might have worked if you were talking to one of the cat laguz, but when said to Boyd just strikes me as all sorts of dumb.
"why'd you think I killed Lekain for in the first place?"
"That was part of your plan? Man for a 10-year old you're pretty smart."
"16 for your information. If I didn't do that then Pelleas would've been killed but of course we all decided against that. I also had to destroy the paper on which the blood pact was written."
Okay, Meru's starting to look a bit funky in my mind's eye. She's apparently wearing white boots and a red jacket with blue hair and a skirt, okay. Despite the skirt, she looks like a dude to many people. I can still deal, she could not have much boobage going on with the jacket covering most of it and some rather moderate hips. But now she apparently looks like a ten year old, she has got to be absolutely puny out there on the battlefield compared to some of the horribly large and well built soldiers. Not to mention, remember in the first chapter, she knocked over a soldier using a side kick, either she hit him directly in the nads or she's a flying missile.
"Queen Almedha, Tauroneo, Micaiah, Fayt and Sothe also knew."
"Man.. So that cliff battle?"
"It was just a diversion for the senators."
"How did you know?"
"miii~ King Pelleas found out before Daein joined the war. As for me, I won't tell. Classified info."
Press her for more information Boyd, DO EET!
"Only about things I know, and let me tell you this, I'm not just an ordinary beroc. So you better get used to it nano desu~."
Logic break! If she's secretive only about the things she knows about, then wouldn't that mean she's secretive about everything? Even the stuff that's clearly known? Then again, she really hasn't bother sharing much information outside of what will drive the plot forward, so eh.
GAH! Come on man! Why doesn't anyone try to get more information out of Meru? It'd probably speed things up by leaps and bounds.
"Who's coming?" Soren questioned.
"The order of disciples. Come on get ready before they come."
"wait who said you can order ME around?" Soren got the others and we got into position.
"How could they get this close without us seeing them?" asked Ike.
"I don't know. There was no sign or scent of their approach... I wonder if they simply materialized?" asked Nailah.
"Most likely that's the case." I said drawing my sword.
"Ena, stay here! Protect Kurthnaga's tent at all costs!" commanded Ike.
Well, thanks to a lack of plot exposition, all the non players are lost. Let's start with Soren, he's of great importance to the story and Ike. Soren is Ike's main strategist
, which means Soren handles not only moving the mercenaries around and helping draw out battle plans, he also handles payments, food, and supplies. He's also got a bit of a temper and hates the world to some extent, but then again, his childhood was nothing but problematic since his parents were laguz and beorc, meaning he was a half breed and left to die outside of society. The one person who did take him in was a wizard who treated him more as a servant and record book than a child. And so now today you have a lightning fast glass cannon who makes up the brains of Ike's forces.
Kurthnaga is the prince of the dragon laguz and really, really hates fighting despite being a FUCKING DRAGON. Black dragon, to be exact, which means he was born with the ability to utterly annihilate all but the most trained of soldiers. He's also caught up in laguz politics, working against his father to save his sister and nephew due to his father's Stupid Neutral tendencies.
"Everyone, watch the perimeter! There are a lot of them, but just focus on one enemy at a time!" commanded Ike.
'well, better show what I'm made of to Ike-kun.' I thought smiling. With that the battle started and I tried my best to do my part. I use somewhat of my 'unordinary' powers against them. Heck I use the light tome I had to wipe out most of them. It was a piece of cake getting to the enemy commander of the army.
Okay, every time Meru makes a random, nonsensical sound or uses Gratuitous Japanese, take a sip. Anyway, keep in mind this is officially end game of the actual game, and the light tome is what you call the weakest attack tome in the game, with a whomping 3 attack power on its own. Combine this with the fact that tomes break after a while, the only way she cut through the majority of them (32 in total) without it breaking is if she got a critical hit EVERY DAMN TIME. Meru's gone beyond simply powerful, her mere presence is warping the random number generator.
"-sighs- whatever." I said bored.
"You'll be eating your words soon enough."
"the only person who NEARLY beat me was Ike and you know the rest."
"Ludveck is still alive."
Who?
"Death? But my work is not yet...complete..." said Catalena. With that Catalena was dead.
So nonchalant. A man was just torn separate from the world of the living, no final mention of clinging onto consciousness, just a simple statement. That is how you do Beige Prose people.
Ike, did you just miss the entire slaughter that Meru enacted?
Take two more sips, maybe three if you're counting the fact that she's probably using the Nixon Peace Sign.
"well that what happens when you train for 10 years"
Okay, okay, Meru's Suishness was pretty moderate before but it's beginning to creep. Not only did her parents die when she was five, she apparently was either training with dangerous, medieval weaponry before that or immediately began right after. You know, if I knew someone was training with weapons like that shortly after the death of her father and disappearance of her mother, I'd call 911 immediately.
Also, Boyd, and by extension, just about all of Ike's crew, has been doing this stuff much longer and have actually had lots of chances to apply this stuff against entire squadrons of trained soldiers. Meru has nothing on them in terms of job history.
Come on man, call her out on this crap. You've got the wits to do so.
"Why didn't tell us sooner? We could've stop this."
"Truth be told, I don't think it would've really matter in the first place."
"Man, how much do you know exactly?"
"Let's just say, I get to see more than you."
"what's that supposed to mean?"
And right after this, we cut to the next scene. The author isn't even trying to tell how Meru's avoiding this stuff at this point. Here's to hopes that Soren eventually wrangles it out of her.
"This is great! I can't remember the last time we got to sleep indoors! We can be thankful for the rain, I guess." said Mist.
"Frankly, I can care less." I said brushing my hair with my hands.
"Yeah, the decorations are a little...overdone, but the beds will be warm and dry. I'm glad I remembered this mansion was here." said Ike.
"Presumably we're the first people to set foot in here since Oliver was posthumously found guilty of trading in heron slaves. I understand the senate confiscated his lands and property immediately after the Mad King's War ended." said Soren.
Yeah, notice the more complex sentences and high diction Soren's spitting out. Anyway, Oliver was a major enemy of FE9 by way of kidnapping a Laguz royal and causing all sorts of bad blood for the sake of a having a pretty singing bird human thing. He's also a bit memetic in the Fire Emblem community for being so dang ugly and having a tendency to always come back as a bonus character that everyone hates.
"miii~ Most likely Oliver at his own digs here." I said looking around.
"Oliver's dead Meru. There's no way it could be him." Soren said looking at me confused.
"Well, he could be alive, the black knight's alive."
Yeah, in the first game, a castle collapsed on the Black Knight. However, he has an excuse to have survived that seeing as he has some magically blessed armor that can only be damaged by a similarly magically blessed sword, so that castle could have collapsed on him and all he'd lose is his hearing for a while and spend several hours digging himself out.
Oliver's only excuse is that there's so damn much ugly that he managed to remanifest himself as some sort of spirit or avatar of ugliness.
"All right, let's get everyone mobilized." said Ike.
"General! Come quickly! Our friends are in trouble!" said Rafiel.
'That's Tormod's cue. Let's see what he gotten himself into.' I thought.
"Friends?" asked Ike. Once we got to the outer buildings we see Tormod, Muarim, and Vika, the two laguz transformed, and fought off several of the Disciples of Order; Muarim kills a soldier, while Tormod attacks one with fire magic. "Hey! Isn't that-" started Ike.
"It's Tormod! We haven't seen him since the Mad King's War!" interrupted Mist.
"hau~ that's good ol' Tormod. Nipah!" I said smiling.
"Extinguish them." yelled a disciple of order!
"Funny you should phrase it that way, you soon-to-be cinder!" yelled Tormod. The soldier tries to stab at Tormod, but he dodges and uses his fire magic, but the soldier survives again. "What the—That should have worked better. Who are these guys?" asked Tormod.
"Tormod, your backup's here! Just hold your position!" yelled Ike.
"Much appreciated! Don't worry. We're not going anywhere! Wait a second...Ike? What happened to you, musclehead?" asked Tormod.
"It's definitely Sir Ike. But beorc growth always amazes me. It's like looking at a different person." Said Muarim.
For the record, from this
◊ to beef cake
◊ in three years.
"OIII! Tormod! Long time no see!" I yelled.
"Meru? Is that you? I barley recognized you! What happen to your voice and you hair?"
"I'll tell you about it later!"
"Well I'm glad to see you alive."
"you too."
Did Meru ever actually meet Tormod? In this story, not directly, but there was a frame of time when he and Meru were both working under Micaiah, so I guess it's possible they actually met.
"She's right again." Soren said.
"how in the goddess does she know?" Ike said awestruck.
"who knows. Meru is, well, Meru."
Told ya, he's so ugly that he stopped being human a long time ago. Anyway, Soren, no! I need to desperately cling onto the hope that someone will give Meru a whipping for being so dang uselessly knowledgeable all of the time!
"Ohhh...you are truly a banquet for the eyes as well as the...spirit. I am quite overcome." Oliver said ecstatically
"Unhand me!" Rafiel yelled at the big oaf.
"But how is it that anyone could risk a precious treasure like you in battle? What if something marred you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't worry, pretty bird; I'll save you. You need someone who can give you loving protection. Someone...like me."
He's also a Memetic Molester, by the way. Like, he sounds like a pedophile while talking to full grown men. No one, and I mean no one likes Oliver and that has got to be the only reason why the devs brought him back, because he's so horrible.
"I'll take you away from these savages! I would never let them lay a single finger on you, my precious! No, no... The jealous cretins mustn't ruffle a single feather... I'll have to kill them. Come now, come to daddy!"
 |
KILL HIM! KILL HIM!
"you have to join us if you want to get close to him."
NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!
"Me. That's who." Putting my sword to his throat.
"Very well I will join you." With that we managed to kill the other disciples.
 |
Damn it, Meru, can't you do anything right?! Consider yourself along with the rest of the army officially raped now.
"Wiped out... Not a man left standing. It must be the will of the goddess." Hetzel said.
"You! You are..." said Rafiel.
"Rafiel? How- You're still alive! I'm so glad you're safe..." Then Hetzel walks forward, but Rafiel backs away and Ike and Nailah step in.
"I have nothing to say to you."
"So, you know, then. What we did was unforgivable... I was against it from the beginning... I argued with the others time and again! ...Ah, what's the use... It doesn't matter what I say now. Rafiel... Despite everything, I'm very happy to see that you're alive. But I beg of you... Stay away from the capital. You must not anger the goddess." And with that he teleports out!
"I've seen that man before. He's a pretty influential senator, isn't he?" asked Ike.
"His name is Hetzel, duke of Asmin... I owe my life to him. Then Nailah runs up to him." said Rafiel.
"Ike, I'm sorry, but can we talk later? Rafiel needs to rest." said Nailah.
"Yes, of course." said Ike.
Ike, you're not just going to ignore the fact that you've got Oliver on your team, now are you? Wwwwwwhhhhhhhyyyyyy?
Normally, I'd question how you'd forgot that you had a backpack along with you, but you've already gone far past the point of no return by recruiting Oliver. You know, ugly as sin, molests you in your sleep, doesn't die, and has a fetish for caging up humanoid creatures with wings Oliver.
"you know it wouldn't hurt to knock once in a while Ike-kun." I said exasperated.
"Sorry, force of habit."
I'm surprised we missed a perfectly good opportunity for Ike to accidentally walk into the room of a girl undressing and thus fulfill one of the oldest and most over used anime cliches ever. Actually, that makes me think, has no one questioned what Meru's wearing? It's not exactly battle worthy or even normal.
"That hint you gave to me, you've mentioned the blood pact and 2 people?"
"yeah, go on."
"Oliver was one of the people you were referring to right?"
"indeed he was."
Okay, so the note's still hanging around. You better have a damn good reason to be keeping Oliver alive because all I can remember with the blood pact stuff is that people need to die to fix it.
"Do I have to tell you?"
"Meru come on you know you can tell me."
"fine. You promised you won't tell ANYONE, especially Elincia?"
"why?"
"Cause right now I'm worried it won't go as planned."
This note must have some extensive details on it without telling much at the same time since Ike hasn't exactly been seeing most of this plot coming. Anyway, what kind of plan keeps your own allies in the dark? Seems rather counter productive when you're at war.
"Hau~... it's Bertram."
"Bertram! The four riders of Daein Bertram! The guy who rarely says anything understandable Bertram?"
"Yes that Bertram."
"But why would he want to help us?"
"He wasn't always that way. You know the drug that created the feral ones?"
"Yes I seen the product."
"Well if it is fed to a Beorc like you, it will shatter the persons mind and increase their strength. It doesn't seem to have as strong effect with Beorc as it does with Laguz. That is was what happened with Bertram."
"So if he wasn't always like that then who was he?"
Um, so... how is he going to help in that state of mind though?
"No not really. But I heard that he was killed by Ashnard's followers."
"He wasn't killed, he was captured."
"Wait what does this have anything to do with Bertram?"
"Because Renning was the beroc that was fed with the drug that created the feral ones."
"This is going to be a big shock for Elincia. So is there a way to turn him back to normal? And more importantly where is he?"
"Well, from what I know, this involves Reyson to be able to convert him to his old self. Right now I think he's with Bastian."
"Thanks Meru. Sorry if I push you too hard for the information."
PUSH HARDER DAMMIT!
"Well we still have some time you want to talk about yourself to me."
"sure but you can't tell anyone, cause this is top secret and not just any secret, this one is important."
"alright, I promised."
 |
So Meru's going to actually spill the beans? Well, this is either going to be the most interesting chapter yet or as anti climatic as finding out who the Black Knight is.
Miyako: are you going to place up the talk?
Meru: yea, I didn't want to do it this chapter so I decided to do it next chapter.
Miyako: ahhh
Meru: anyways hope you enjoyed this R&R if you want bye!
