This part begins with the only cool bit of Ruber’s song. WE ARE THE DARKNESS, WE ARE THE DOOM, WE ARE THE ARMY OF GLORY AND GLOOM...oh, I love that bit. Kayley escapes, and presumably, the entire squad does too. You’d think at least Master Tigress would fight off Ruber’s men...oh, screw it.
More Evilmainya. Such an awesome song.
The gryphon returns, its entrance heralded by a Madagascar penguin, and it gets in trouble for not having Excalibur. Cynder is pissed that Ruber’s pet ‘tarnish the proud feriousity’ of the Digimon and that Kayley is getting away, so she orders Ruber to do something ‘or the date’s off’. They’re dating. But she’s a dragon and he’s a human...and isn’t she jailbait...these videos...
Then there’s the infamous ‘Prayer’ sequence, where the music jars with the imagery, even more so when Deadpool and Scroop are involved. You’d think with the music replacing earlier, Scroopfan’d use something more fitting here.
The squad and the baddies enter the forbidden forest...and according to Sam and Max, they’re actually in Central Park. So Central Park was actually in Camelot. You learn something new every day.
Do you have to use the same clips of Deadpool and Scroop running?
Kayley falls over a ledge, so we have a montage of Spongey and his mates falling. Then Kayley meets Garret and Spyro! Yay! They found him before Cynder! Then the baddies come along and Garrett beats them with a stick. If they can be warded off with a stick, can’t the tougher members of the Shell Louge Squad deal with them? Whatever.
Spying Spyro, Deadpool and Scroop go off to tell their mistress. Then Kayley talks to Garret.
GAH! ANOTHER long introduction sequence! That Batty Koda rap AGAIN! Can’t say I blame Garret for his reaction. A Digimon girl says Garret is ‘blind as a bat’ and thus Batty gets offended. Sorry, Rockos Modern Life did that joke better. And why isn’t Rocko part of the squad, if you’re gonna include every cartoon ever? I’d rather have him on my team than Batty.
That dull ‘I Stand Alone’ number starts and goes on pretty much as the original did, without even any commentary from the squad. Huh. Maybe they were too entranced by those moving plants.
Oh goody, exposition time! Shenzi asks Spyro what happened to Cynder, and our favourite purple dragon tells the tale of when Cynder said some stuff about the universe dying or something. Way to put your subtitles over the original games’. I guess it’s meant to explain the crossovering of this series, what with the talk of universes becoming one, but it still doesn’t make this any less insane.
So Lord Cobra wanted to adopt Cynder for his malevolent purposes, and he had Dr Facilier with him! That’s right, Cynder was converted to the side of darkness by those friends on the other side, complete with the musical number. No amount of explanation about the boundaries of the universe can make that make sense.
After that harrowing story, some shit falls on Garret’s head, and everyone laughs. And when I say everyone laughs, I mean everyone laughs. A big long montage of cartoon characters laughing their ass off. Dude, it wasn’t that funny. And Bagheera agrees with me too. ‘It’s not funny’ indeed.
Meanwhile, as we are reminded due to one of the few things here actually from Spongebob, Cynder finds out about Spyro aiding her enemies. Deadpool tells her to go to her ‘happy place’.
Then Ruber and his goons are trouncing around the forest looking for the sword. When the gryphon fails to see where the sword is, Squidward says ‘wah wah wah’. Did he suddenly teleport from the squad to where the villains were? Does he have psychic powers and the ability to yell really loud? Cynder then tells that villain from that crappy Land Before Time sequel to search for the Shell Louge Squad and kill them. Why her, and not one of the more able villains? Oh, so the goodies will win, I forget. And a lame Taxi Driver reference gets a pseudo-rimshot too.
After a scene with King Arthur, the baddies track down the goodies in a hideous wasteland. This is the country of the dragons, and it smells. Spyro’s dragonfly makes a joke about Spyro’s personal odour, and then there’s that fucking laughing montage again. Come on guys, have some respect for your teammates. Right on, Bagheera.
GAAAH! That laughing montage AGAIN!!! RWAFUIWIGYIWGFYIGIGGYIFGGFUIFGUGFUIGFI ‘It’s not funny.’ I’m fine.
There’s a noise, and Sparx flies away from it. We know this because he says it thrice. Batty tells Kayley not to attract attention, but I think enough attention was attracted due to all that maniacal laughter. Then the group meet Devon and Cornwall, the unfunny comic relief dragons, and the appropriate reaction shots are given. Hey, a editing-created joke that actually works.
Devon and Cornwall introduce themselves and the Louge guys continue to make fun of them. Yes, give them what they deserve. Upon Devon and Cornwall revealing their conjoined nature, Max says ‘There’s something you don’t see every day’ and here that phrase actually makes sense. Then BIG LONG INTRODUCTION SEQUENCE. The video actually ends just before the Batty Rap begins again.
