Spot the reference in the title and win an unofficial Marvel No(ir)-Prize!
Again, I have to note the cover. Halloway is opening his shirt to reveal the Angel costume underneath in a manner obviously meant to recall Superman, and at this point I'd have a hard time believing the searchlight blimps aren't at least partially n reference to the opening of Batman The Animated Series - especially considering the pigeons flying everywhere, providing the Angel with a city-dwelling flier motif similar to the shadow-stalking flier motif Batman has.
Also, yeesh, he's really up high. We can see the famous Chrysler Building below him.
Last issue recap: "A good man cuts a raw deal. An angel takes a leap of faith. A bullet exceeds its potential."
Wow, this is worse than I thought. The airship's going down, and it's taking a hefty portion of that building with it. Halloway crashes through another window in an attempt to get to a safe place, but appears to be unconscious upon landing. Magnus and Toynbee see the explosion and start flipping out, but not before Toynbee notices Peter's body having landed right on their car.
Inside, Wyngarde and Dukes spot Beast and Iceman. Beast tells Iceman to get out of there and tries to hold them off solo, but gets plugged right in the head. For once, Iceman isn't so cool when he realizes Beast is probably dead. He stuffs Unus in the getaway car, and who's there to see them off but our old buddy Halloway.
Dukes and Wyngarde report to Magnus, telling him that the X-Men have Unus and they're working with the Angel. Magnus says he knows where they're going, and demands he be taken to the Hellfire club.
At the Hellfire Club, it turns out Magnus is interrupting something. Shaw, as you can imagine, is furious - this is his satanic bondage club, and what he does in it is his business! I didn't mention this before as it didn't seem relevant, but the Hellfire Club has stained glass windows depicting each of the Seven Deadly Sins; we see here "Lust", depicting Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch, who have an amorous relationship in the Ultimate universe.
Magnus has finally tired of Shaw, and opens fire on him and his lady friends with a tommy gun. He tells Dukes to burn the place and Wyngarde to recover the files for the Council of Parks and Parkways so the Brotherhood will know what land to buy and sell back to the city. Magnus apologizes to his departed son for never truly escaping another man's system. He vows that tonight, the city will be his and all that will change - as long as he can tie up one last loose end. Unus.
Back at Captain Logan's favorite hangout, Logan stares forlornly at a picture of a woman. Eugene tells him to sober up; they've got a message from Mr. Xorn's pigeon coop on the roof (evidently this isn't such an uncommon means of communication in this day and age). Oh, and Xorn was a member of the X Men who, long story short, was killed by Wolverine after turning evil.
Anyway, the message is from Halloway, and he wants to cash in the favor Logan owes him. Back on Welfare, the X-Men are briefing Unus on their plan - they'll smuggle him to D.C. by sea, where FBI director Fred Duncan will be waiting for him. Unus say's he'll cooperate, but he's only going to tell what he knows about Magnus and Shaw; "no real crooks. Man's gotta have standards." He says it's time to remind them why he's "untouchable." Shaw and Magnus have been forcing hoods into areas they want to redevelop. The rise in crime lowers property values and drives out locals - Shaw buys up the land and sells it to the city for a huge profit.
Cut to, uh, someplace. Rankin is walking down the stairs, and is greeted at the door by the Brotherhood. Magnus wants to know about the tunnel from there, Sean Cassidy's old house, to Welfare Island. He knows she knows - Halloway purchased the place under his own name, and she's one of the X-Men. Gun to her face, Rankin agrees to show them. Downstairs, behind the bookshelf. Magnus comes up in a cell in the old Welfare pen.
Now we're on Logan's ship, Mariko (Wolverine's one true love), as it makes its way to the dock to meet the X-Men. The X-Men, as it happens, are still in the Welfare pen. The Brotherhood almost gets the drop on them, but Rankin manages to get out a warning after biting Magnus' hand and escaping his clutches. However, Unus doesn't make it out of the ensuing gunfight alive, catching a Moe Greene Special for his trouble. Dukes and Wyngarde are killed by Cyke and Iceman, respectively, but Toynbee hits Iceman with a bullet to the back. When Toynbee sees Halloway, he tells him to get away while he can. Halloway saved his life (see last issue); now they're even. Unfortunately for Toynbee, he had no such arrangement with Cyclops, who shoots him clean through his temples.
Cyclops and Halloway count their options, and lament Unus and Iceman being out of the equation. They don't, however, know where Marie is. Meanwhile, Magnus makes his way to the roof, cursing the X-Men the entire time. Spoiled kids playing at murder... "In our hands... your innate talents could have achieved so much. And then I could have really taken you to school." he says as he reaches his destination. Rankin's waiting for him. Rankin says "Yeah. Teach me, daddy" as she hits him with some blunt object, bludgeoning him to death while he's on the ground. "Teach me. Teach me. All my life, I wanted to be just like you."
Halloway comes up, and Rankin tries to excuse herself. "I absorbed his murderous tendencies! You know what I'm like!" Tommy does know. It's like Professor X said in his article: "Indistinguishable from the dominant species, unencumbered by the constraints of sociability, uniquely endowed to manipulate members of society by preying on their outmoded empathy... this is the sociopath." She's aghast - how could he say that after all they've meant to each other? Halloway counters by saying nothing means anything to her. Not Cyclops. Not Logan. Not Tommy.
And certainly not Anne-Marie Rankin. She tries to say something, but he's not hearing it. He was the one who dug up Jean. He saw hair that had been dyed, since the scalp's loss of moisture caused it to shrink around its roots. He was suspicious when she mentioned Logan almost immediately after they met. She was too distraught over the prospect of seeing the other X-Men again, because they knew her and would likely see through her deception. He suspected - but so did Professor X. After all, not many people practice writing their own signature over and over again.
She just had to fool Raven Darkholme, who hadn't seen Rankin in years, long enough to receive a trust fund when "Rankin" turned 21. It must've been something, really. Impersonating someone with no fixed personality. The perfect con.
Jean, then actually dishes on the exact details of the murder. She almost laughs when she tells him that Rankin didn't seem to understand that she was about to get killed. Totally uncomprehending, truly trusting... her eyes stayed innocent even as Jean gouged them out.
Professor X, she says, was a fool. She was never like Rankin. Nobody touched her or corrupted her - this is simply who she is. She was the next evolution in sociopathy. It turns out Magnus didn't kill Worthington after all; he jumped after he discovered Jean for what she truly was.
She claims to be True Neutral, but you come to your own conclusions. She didn't want to be studied or exploited by Magnus or Xavier - but since the X-Men and the Brotherhood are out of the picture, she doesn't have to worry about that anymore. All she has to worry about is how she's going to spend that trust fund. She's had her gun, stolen off Magnus' body, on Halloway this whole time, and says this is goodbye. "Let's pretend it's been fun, huh?"
Halloway grabs her by the neck. He tells her his name is Robert. As he throttles her, she shoots him. They both careen off the building. We get a flashback to Sean Cassidy's "big stinking grift" line. Looks like Tommy really did get in the last trick - he's been in two places at once his entire adult life, after all. Robert and Jean hit the ground, and our story ends where it began: on the shores of Welfare.
Cyclops and Tommy look at the bodies. Cyclops takes his glasses off, and his name takes on a new significance: He's got an "X" carved into his left eye, no doubt making it blind if it's even real. Cyclops tells Tommy to call him Scott. Tommy explains that he was adopted by a wealthy family after his father's death... and that Robert wasn't. When they met up as adults, Robert wanted to keep up the game of making people think there was only one of them. Cyclops says it looks like they both lost somebody today. Tommy replies that he's afraid he lost his brother a long time ago.
The Mariko pulls into the dock, and Logan's pissed. "What the Hell? We picking somebody up or what?"
Tommy tells Cyclops he hears Madripoor is nice this time of year as they get on the boat.
End of X-Men Noir
So, uh, what did you guys think? Of both the story as I described it and my description of it, that is.
Next time, X-Men Noir: The Mark of Cain! Yes, this has a sequel, which in turn has a prequel in the Weapon X Noir oneshot.
...Seriously, a comment or two would be seriously sick right now, guys.
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