This one's going to be kinda short.Okay... okay... I'm can actually see now. Oh hey, Ayleid ruins.
◊ Neat.
Well, I've gotta go stake my claim on that before I go anywhere else. I don't want any damn squatters on my land. Oh no... there's two jerks already here, and they're in actual armor as opposed to clothes made out of potato sacks that I technically stole from prison. Well, I think it's very clear that I need everything more than everyone, so let's line ourselves up a nice little shot.
He shoots... He scores! That's one down, and now to take out Mr. Charging-Forward-With-a-Bow-Like-a-Jackass. See, you shouldn't fight Lord Death Firedoom. It never ends well for anyone. Okay, now to loot the bodies. Man, I'm just out of prison and I'm already killing people. This is awesome. Okay, so we got some fur armor, some weapons, some arrows. Bah, I'll sell it and put it towards... woah, where did all this junk come from?
◊ I just left prison, so I couldn't have picked it up before now, and those guys didn't have it on them... This is weird.
Oh well, I've got out of prison, have houses that are apparently mine, and I've got a practical license to kill. I love being me. Well, I guess it's time to stroll leisurely into the Imperial City like I own the place. I know exactly how to do this... No pants.
◊
Okay, open the doors and walk in there, Firedoom. Oh hey, Legion jerks, didn't see you there. Oh, me? I'm just flaunting my ENORMOUS BALLS. You like them? I don't care if you do or not, you're going to be seeing a lot of them.
Or not... it's really cold.
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Let's see how much cash did I wrack up in that disturbingly overstocked cave? Oh... only 36 septims. Well, time to go back to begging get a job. Let's see, I could go work for the Fighter's Guild, but they have "standards". I need a place where I can ruthlessly murder people in front of everyone and get away with it...
Ahhh, I can't think of anywhere in particular.
◊ I should probably take this stupid amulet to that Jauffre guy... if it doesn't sell, that is.
I'm using fast-travel to cut out in-between parts.Okay, this is the lamest looking priory I've ever seen, and I've seen "Baldbland priory". Oh well, let's take this stupid, worthless piece of garbage to Jerkbag.
Aaaaand he hardly believes me, and he freaked out a little bit. I mean, I suppose I could understand being taken aback by the death of the Emperor, but come on, Uriel Septim was kind of a jerk. Let's be frank here, what intelligent ruler would lock my awesome self away?
Okay, probably every one of them.
But still, we've got that done, and now Jauffre wants me to go to Kvatch? Oh nonononono NO. I may have been in prison for the past week few months five years my entire life, but I hear about things. I know what's going down with Kvatch right now... They're totally racist against Argonians, and they're rounding us up and sending us back to Black Marsh. I ain't going there, and you can't make me.
Well, I guess I'll sit down on one of these benches and think about where I can go to do the voodoo that I do.
