Endark Culi
The Bushido Code: Preston, Roger, Beebee The Sadness Parade: Violet, Trevor, Pinky Writer's Block: Gordon, Agent Rosalyn, Elmira Yeti Begins: Agent Vic, Carl, Leaf
EDIT: Changed 'Zoe' to 'Leaf' for the Yeti mission. I apologize if this disrupts anything currently in progress, but I realized that there was a little too much Paranormal and not enough Natural, and I didn't feel right leaving it unbalanced. Besides, Leaf's the more likeable of the two.
That's fine; I hadn't gotten to the point in the cycle where I play more of it.
Of course, at this late stage, I can probably assemble a team that's "all wrong" and make it up with objects.
ROOK: So, I fired some agents...
WOLFAH: Woof? Aroo...
TRAVIS: Just let me know if you need my help again, dude!
PROFESSOR NOVA: Oh, are we done? Let me know if there are any more conspiracies!
RENÊE: There were no pigs here at all!
ROOK: ...moved the ones I had around, and recruited others: Preston and Roger to go with Beebee, Violet...
VIOLET: Thank you, Rook. I look forward to helping out however I can.
ROOK: ...and Trevor...
TREVOR: Huzzah! I have arrived! Where is the complimentary continental breakfast?
ROOK: ...to go with Pinky, and Agent Vic...
AGENT VIC: Sweet digs, Special Agent Rook. Does this mean I'm a special agent now, too?
ROOK: ...and Carl...
CARL: Oh, hi guys. Hopefully this job works out better than my last...
ROOK: ...to go with Leaf. I rearranged their furniture, and sent them on their assignments. I changed, and went to Main Street to see how things were.
ROOK: Hey, Luis. What's the news?
LUIS: Morcu Corp shares have dropped 98% due to speculation that the CEO, Morcubus, was trapped in some kind of alternate dimension! Rook, you think there is any truth to that?
ROOK: You never can tell, Luis. News is a fickle friend.
ROOK: Hey, Poppy! What's new?
POPPY: Not much, Rook! I've been talking to Violet about opening a flower shop, but she says: "...An eeevil flower shop? She's so weird, huh?
ROOK: Hey, Gino! How's the pizza business?
GINO: It's great! People seem to order more pizza without the insidious Morcu Corp looking over their shoulders.
SAMURAI BOB: Rook, non-violence is the first virtue of swordless bushido. It takes more strength not to strike your enemy than to do so. Your friends are strong, and for this, I thank you for sending them to me as pupils.
ROOK: Hey, Dogwood! Eat anything good lately?
DOGWOOD: Yip... yip yip!!
ROOK: Wow, really? Gino must really like you. Well, don't eat too much — it's not good for dogs!
ROOK: Hey, Derek. Staying out of trouble?
DEREK: Huh? Oh yeah. I met this amazing girl at school — she's so cute! But she talks kinda funny. Her name's Makoto — heard of her?
POPPY: Wow! These agents you sent are all really great and fun'! I'm sure they'll find where my parade float went!
ROOK: That gave me pause. Did none of them look familiar? Like, I don't know, her sister?
ROOK: Hey Skip. What's new?
SKIP: I was just looking over the latest polling data! Poppy is rising in popularity!
ROOK: Your anti-Poppy campaign appears to be failing.
SKIP: Rook, people aren't fond of dirty politics?
ROOK: Surprising, isn't it?
ROOK: It seems his mudslinging only provided the soil for her to come out smelling like a rose — and she was pretty favorable to begin with! My only concern: as sweet as her personality is... does she even know how to run a city? It's not sim-ple.
PAUL: This is a pretty good team you sent, Rook! They've done their yeti research and seem like they really want to help me!
GOTH BOY: Well, this team you sent seems literate enough, but are their souls sufficiently dark enough to truly grasp the debilitating ennui of the fast-food service industry? We shall have to see...
ROOK: Hey, Rhonda! What's your motto for today?
RHONDA: Never change your motto more than you need to, that's what I always say!
BEEBEE: Samurai Bob says that love is a virtue of bushido. Well I've got that one down! Let's see...I love Preston, my bunnies, hot cocoa, pink shoes...
ROOK: Hey, Shirley. What's new?
SHIRLEY: I need your advice, Rook. Should I wear my hair up, or down?
ROOK: Hmmm... Well, what's the occasion?
SHIRLEY: I've got a big date tonight!
ROOK: Oh yeah, who with?
SHIRLEY: I'm not sure... but I'm pretty sure I'll find someone at Gino's!
ROOK: What's up, Patrick?
PATRICK: Hey, Sport! Nothin' much! Just thinking about marinated bacon and mayonnaise sandwiches.
POPPY: Rook! Your agents say a creepy cult stole my parade float to use in some scary dark ritual to 'scour the land'! That sounds bad!
ROOK: With that, I went to the Industrial District.
SAMURAI BOB: Respect — this is the fifth virtue of swordless bushido. To gain the respect of others, you must treat them with respect. Also...wear a really cool helmet.
ROOK: So, Gabby. How's the junkyard?
GABBY: Oh, you know, same as usual, fill o' junk. But it's a good kind of junk.
ROOK: I can't believe I'm asking this, since the boat is still right there, but... back in the water yet, Barney?
BARNEY: Forget about sailing the seas, it's all about sailing the air! I'm putting together an airship and forming my own flying team. I'll call it... Barney's League of Explorers!
ROOK: Alright, Cid, you do that...
ROOK: Hey, Esma. What are you up to?
ESMA: Now that Morcubus is defeated, I have no master. That means that Queen Esma is once again ruler of all! Hah hah hah!
ROOK: ...Riiiiiiight...
CARL: What's the point of finding out Paul's recent past? After a few hundred years, the days all just start to blend together.
ELMIRA: I wonder if this Goth Boy would be interested in helping me take care of the library... It's always good to hire someone whose spirit is already broken. Saves me the trouble.
ROOK: Ah, so that's why employers want you to have experience...
Eh, maybe. Or it's a side benefit.
PINKY: I don't like dark forests like this one...I can barely see the sky...
ROOK: Hey, Brandi. What are you to these days?
BRANDI: Looks like I'm out of a job, thanks to you pesky agents!
Hey, maybe she should work for you guys. You already have the perp of one mission working for you.
ROOK: Mmmmmaybe, but he was assigned to us as community service, remember? And she's pretty steamed. I'm not sure I want her working for us until she has a chance to cool off.
PRESTON: I once hired a samurai as my personal bodyguard. I kept tripping over his katana, though. Hey, but this Bob guy, he doesn't use a katana. Maybe I should hire him!
ROOK: ...Weren't we just talking about him? That's freaky...
ROOK: So, how's the club scene these days?
DJ CANDY: Couldn't be better! Just look at all my devoted fans!
ROOK: Hey Zack! What's next for you guys?
ZACK: Oh, you know. Now that the music's back, I'm just trying to enjoy the moment. Wooo!
ROOK: Hey, Sapphire! Got any plans?
SAPPHIRE: Omigosh, just to dance my face off! WHEEEEEEE!!!
I hope she doesn't succeed; it's such a cute face.
ROOK: So Makoto, what will you do next?
MAKOTO: I will resume my scholastic studies when the customary estivation season has ceased... ...because, as I have previously instructed you, I am a real high school girl.
TREVOR: A damsel in distress! Verily, I would leap into action to save yon damsel, like an action hero, were it not for my pedicure appointment!
SAMURAI BOB: Rook, it is now time to test my new pupils. You must decide which test they will take: The Test of Benevolence, or the Test of Courage? Choose, but choose wisely!
ROOK: I choose benevolence.
LEAF: Finally! A chance to explore beyond the forest! Unfortunately, elves and yetis don't run in the same circles very often.
ROOK: Hey, Grit! Here, boy!
GRIT: *woof* *woof* *woof*!
ROOK: He jumped into my arms!
ROOK: Awww, Grit! I guess you're starting to like me, huh, boy?
ROOK: I changed to the swimwear from before...
SAMURAI BOB: Benevolence — it is good to show kindness and charity to those in need, so your friends and I started a clothing drive. However, there is such a thing as too much charity. Please, Rook, tell your friends to take their shoes back. It brings tears to my eyes...the smell, that is.
ROOK: I can believe it, especially with Roger among them.
GOTH BOY: The concept of despair is lost on these people. This team you sent is too cheerful, and entrenched in the wordly, dogmatic, yet futile pursuit of happiness. What hope I had in finding my muse is fading...
POPPY: Oh no, Rook! The cultists are casting their final spell to destroy the forest!! Should I run away?!
ROOK: I told her to do so, then went to the boardwalk.
ROOK: I take it business isn't so hot?
GOTH BOY: Oh, it's plenty hot. That's the problem. Maybe I'll find some kind of ski resort where I can start a new Turkey-on-a-Fork franchise in the arctic air.
ROOK: How's business, Luke?
LUKE: Awww, it's been great, Rook! I got a new shipment of boards in, and folks have been flocking to the beach due to all the excitement. I guess people just aren't scared of giant metal shark submarines.
PAUL: The team has set off on a research extravaganza! They've filled my cave with history books and research notes.
ROGER: Whew, this bushido stuff is a real workout! Who knew that courage, honor, and duty weighed so much?
ROOK: Hey, Tim. Got any big stunts lined up?
TIM: Well, I did get a great deal on this giant metal shark. I'm thinking about having Chaz do some jumps over it on jet skis.
POPPY: OK!! I managed to get away...but I still hear that creepy chanting. I hope the agents are okay?
ROOK: Hey, Chaz. Done anything cool lately?
CHAZ: Of course. How about you?
ROOK: Well, I piloted a robot through a sunken ship, discovered an ancient temple, dodged deathtraps, and stopped a megalomaniac from taking over the world.
CHAZ: *yawn* 'kay. Let me know when you do something interesting.
ROOK: So, business is good, chef?
CHEF WATANABE: Business on the boardwark is great, thanks to you! I'm thinking about creating a new roll in your honor: The Rook Roll!
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down...
ROOK: ... (Face Palm)
ROOK: Justice! How's business?
JUSTICE: Can't lie, Rook. It's been great. Seems like everyone wants to get temporary tattoos these days. Strangely enough, the most popular tattoo is the name Rook in comic book-style lettering.
ROOK: Hey, Taylor. Still mooning after Chaz?
TAYLOR: Chaz? That loser? No, Rook. You're the real hero around here.
VIOLET: Turning the forest into a glen of decay? That sounds wonderful...but nobody messes with my little sister. These guys are gonna go down.
ROOK: Awww!
ROOK: How's the water, Summer?
SUMMER: It's great! It's soooo warm... and much less radioactive than before!
SAMURAI BOB: Congratulations! Your friends made excellent pupils and have passed all the tests required to master swordless bushido. Thank you, Rook. It was an honor!
ROOK: One more mission down...
ROOK: So, Dr. F, you heard about how we stopped Morcubus?
DR. F: You did? That's fantastic! I'd love to get my hands on that crown! What kind of nightmares do you think robots have, anyway?
ROOK: Tobor! How's my favorite robot?
TOBOR: Don't try to cheer me up, Rook. You and I both know I'm the only robot you know.
ROOK: It seems he doesn't know about Makoto.
Ah, that would be my favorite robot. In My Sims Agents, that is.
AGENT VIC: I asked Paul a bunch of questions, but that yeti can't remember anything! I wish we had a way to turn back time. Whoa! Do you think Paul could be a time traveller?
ROOK: Hey, Clara. How's Mr. Suckers?
CLARA: He hasn't been around as much since he decided to take up juggling.
GORDON: Well, friend, I can't decide whether to go with dactylic hexameter or iambic pentameter. While dactylic hexameter has a more classical feel to it, iambic pentameter will allow me to use the word "funicular" in a strategic spot on line 23!
..."Pertaining to, or worked by rope"?
ROOK: I guess. I'm just glad I don't have to solve that one for him.
POPPY: Yay! Your agents stopped the cultists' spells and got my parade float back! I guess the world is safe again!
ROOK: Another one down. I headed back to HQ to await word of success or failure from the other two.
PAUL: We've found something! There's evidence that I spent some time elsewhere before I found this cave. But was it near the oceans or the canyon?
ROOK: I took a wild guess and pointed him to the canyon. While I waited, I checked in with Jenny.
JENNY: Good job saving Poppy's parade float, Rook. I mean, I guess that's a good thing.
ROOK: I got three newsie hats, a black hat with ears, a baseball cap with a star on it, and a big 'fro.
JENNY: Wow — a team of honorary bushido warriors? Should we be bowing to them or something?
ROOK: I got a priceless... mang vase? Oh well, it looks nice.
Yeah. Of course it only has 1 Charismatic, so it might help a tiny bit in those situations, but...
ROOK: Ooh, a red ninja outfit... and a pink flamingo lawn ornament? Huh.
GOTH BOY: Rook, my new poem is almost finished, but I need a word that rhymes with "murky".
ROOK: ...Was he pulling my leg? I chose "quirky", since he was obviously trying to avoid "turkey".
PAUL: I'm fairly certain I've never been here. It's too dry for my skin. That means I was definitely at the ocean!
GOTH BOY: "I wander through a gloom both chilling and murky,
My silent companion, familiar, yet quirky."
Yes! Can you feel it, Rook? The funereal rhythm, the desolate anguish? It's inspirational!
PAUL: We found it! After some digging, we found out that I was a commercial fisherman for a while. I even starred in a made-for-TV movie! I'm off to rent it and see what my forgotten life was like.
JENNY: Hey, Rook! I guess the team was able to help Paul discover his yeti beginnings. Kind of like one of those cool 'origins' episodes on Starcruiser X.
ROOK: I got bacon and ham-themed paints out of the deal... which may explain the pig paints I found on the way to his cave. Also, a yeti snowcone machine, and a snowboard!
AGENT ROSALYN: Oh, I always carry a book of poetry around. This one time, for fun, I wrote one of my case reports as a 2,000 page epic poem. 2,000 pages of paperwork! The boys down at the bureau didn't appreciate it, though...
GOTH BOY: "I wander through a gloom both chilling and murky,
My silent companion, familiar, yet quirky."
Don't settle for burgers, or strands of beef jerky,
Come down to the boardwalk, eat sticks of roast turkey!"
It's perfect! I'm sure to win the Turkey-on-a-Fork™ slogan contest now! And with the prize money, I can finally move out of my mom's basement! Thanks, Rook.
JENNY: Eeek, writer's block, how scary! I'm glad the team was able to help Goth Boy. Maybe they can help me some day.
ROOK: I got a formal skull-themed outfit and a wide hat. Also, a séance circle, and a promotional figurine of Goth Boy.
- Missions
- Blade of Destiny: *****; A/C; Object, Recruit
- Episode X: **; S/P; Object, Trophy
- Equipment Recovery: **; A/S; Outfits, Mission
- The Extremest Case: ****; A/C; Outfits, Object
- F, Robot: ***; S/C; Outfits, Mission
- Failing Forest: ***; N/P; Object, Paint, Recruit
- Gonk Need Food, Badly: ****; N/A; Object, Recruit
- H 4 XXOR 3 D!: ****; S/C; Object, Recruit
- High School Yearbook: ***; C/P; Object, Mission
- Justice for Justice: *****; A/C; Outfits, Trophy
- Legendary Cheese: *; A/N; Outfits, Trophy
- Magical Assistant: ***; C/P; Object, Mission
- Missing Bugs: **; N/A; Objects
- Music That Moves You: ***; P/S; Outfits, Trophy
- Ol' Gabby's Mine: **; S/N; Objects
- Penguin Style: *****; A/N; Object, Recruit
- The Prominence: ***; P/S; Outfits
- Reagent Run: **; P/N; Outfits, Recruit
- Red Buddy: ***; P/A; Outfits, Object, Trophy
- Roadie Despair: *; C/S; Objects, Recruit
- Sewer Search: ***; S/N; Object, Trophy
- Snack Thief: ***; S/C; Outfits, Object, Trophy
- Snake on the Loose!: ****; N/S; Object, Recruit
- Suckers Sabotage!; *****; C/P; Outfits, Trophy
- Surf's Up!: ***; A/C; Outfits
- Tainted Broth: ***; P/N; Object, Paint, Recruit
- Tobor's Destiny: ****; S/C; Outfits, Object
- Train Jimmy: ****; C/N; Objects, Trophy
- Trouble With Truffles: ****; N/S; Object, Mission
- Recruits and Recruitables
- Beebee: N,A,3C
- Carl: 3P,N,S
- Elmira: P,N,3S
- Gordon: 5S
- Leaf: 3N,2C
- Lyndsay: N,2A,C,S
- Magellan: P,3N,A
- Mike: P,2A,2S
- Ms. Nicole: 4C,S
- Nova: 2P,N,2S
- Pinky: P,4C
- Preston: A,3C,S
- Renée: 3N,2C
- Roger: 5A
- Agent Rosalyn: 2P,3S
- Skullfinder: 2P,3S
- Travis: 3C,2S
- Trevor: 5C
- Agent Vic: 3P,C,S
- Violet: 3P,N,S
- Wolfah: 3N,2A
- Zoe: 4P,S
ROOK: ...Oh yeah, I guess we haven't helped you yet, have we?
JENNY: Indeed you haven't.
So! Does she get helped next update, or not? I mean, she'll get her help eventually, either way...
Another thing: If somebody gives a full set of four missions, don't be afraid to give me set of four different ones before I finish! I may do more than one, especially as Rook has nothing to do now but deal with them! (Though if your choice of recruit is dependent on a particular mission being accomplished, I'll have to put it off if it's not. I'll probably make it, in any case.)
Next time: Rook stands around while handling dispatch missions!
