Pirka's Kämpfer Liveblog! The Archived Version [Formerly: Let's Watch Kämpfer! (aka Genderbending Warriors + Suicidal Plushies!)]
Episode 10: The One I Accedentally Watched Before Episode 9
[If you're wondering why the beginning of this review seems so awkward...I made a pretty big screw up involving episode order. :P]
At long last, I get a bit of time to spend reviewing this crazy show. We're in the home stretch, so let's see how this thing ends! Kämpfer
episode 10, start sequence enitiated!~
Oddly enough, the Cold Opening
on this episode actually shows some clips from the episode itself instead of recapping previous episodes. All I can say is — oh dear god, this episode looks like it's going to be...er...boobs.
We begin with — wait, I actually have something to say about the OP sequence this time. They took out Sakura kissing the weiner in favour of Kämpfer!Mikoto doing some acrobatics. Back to the episode: we begin with a rather odd sequence where Sakura is leading Natsuru through a theme park with what appears to be hypnosis. Then we cut to Akane lying in bed. Natsuru comes to wake her up and she tries to kiss him, but it turns out to actually be Not-Sakaki! Ohhh, snap
! Akane states that if she kissed Not-Sakaki, it would be, and I quote
, "an indirect kiss with Natsuru". BEST. LOGIC. EVER! So, she tells Not-Sakaki to continue...but ends up ''kissing Seppuku Black Bunny instead''
! Who then comments "Do you get off on kissing dolls?". OH DEAR GOD I LOVE THE MASCOTS IN THIS SHOW. Anyhoo, Makoto joins Not-Sakaki in waking up Akane, who apparently 'fainted'. By the way, they all appear to be in some strange hotel room for no reason (?) as well. Akane and Makoto fight over Nats, blah blah blah.
Then we cut back to the theme park (I totally thought that was a dream sequence). Natsuru (MALE!Natsuru, by the way) is sitting beside Kaede Sakura watching some fireworks. Her eyes appear to have changed to eeeeevil ones, but I can't say I would have cared about this if I hadn't been spoiled for the second half of the series by this very website. Darn you, TV Tropes! Sorry, digression. Natsuru wonders why he's there and Sakura...er...licks her lips. Mommy, I'm scared!
[...Okay, this is awkward — it turns out I'm actually WATCHING EPISODE 10 INSTEAD OF EPISODE 9
. EPIC FAIL! I seriously did this by accident, and everything above this line I actually watched before episode nine
, which is why I thought the Cold Opening
wasn't a recap and didn't know why they were all in a hotel. FAILURE.]
Continuing on from the awkwardness of said screw-up: Sakura asks Natsuru what "Shizuku (Not-Sakaki) means to him". The other three girls are looking for Sakura and Nats, but can't find them anywhere in the crowd watching the fireworks. They talk a little bit about why they like Natsuru and how each of them is connected to him in some way, as well as the chance each of them has ending up with him in the end. I'm still rooting for Akane. They then decide to split up and look for
Natsuru and Sakura, who are continuing their conversation as the fireworks go on. Sakura rather cryptically notes that she wants Nats to fall in love with Not-Sakaki in order to "get her out of the way" (I assume because she's a powerful Kämpfer). By this poing, Sakura has gone completely from cute and innocent into scary as hell territory. She says that if Nats follows her orders she will give him all that he desires, and begins to entrance him with glowing eyes (!?).
All of a sudden, Kämpfer!Mikoto blasts onto the scene, BFS drawn and ready for action. For some reason, Natsuru reacts by transforming into Female!Natsuru. Mikoto says she's attacking because Natsuru left her behind, and she's jealous of whatever Natsuru was doing alone with Sakura — but Natsuru has no idea that Sakura was even there (Easy Amnesia
?). Mikoto is then joined by Akane, attacking for the same reasons of love and/or lust towards Natsuru. Of course, it doesn't take long for Not-Sakaki to join in too, though she stays cool about it. Natsuru, along with the audience, wonders what the hell is going on as we cut to eyecatch.
The eyecatch today is Electrocuted Wildcat in Human!Form...who I must admit isn't a slouch when it comes to adorable.
We return to the chaos, and the imminent epic battle that — WTF THEY'RE BACK IN THE HOTEL
!? ARRRGH! Where's the fighting
!? Instead, we're probably gonna get more bickering over who gets the genderswapping protagonist. Yay? The gang walk back to their rooms through the hall, pissed-off looks all around. Sakura shows up and, as guessed, pretends nothing happened. When Natsuru (now male again) arrives back to his room, the Entrails Animals are still hanging upside down on the clothesline, where they boast that they got the best view of the fireworks. This is a complete digression, but how come Strangled Stray Dog barely ever moves? ANYWAY, Akane shows up and wants to kiss Nats, but is interrupted by possibly the best scene in the series so far. It's so awesome that I'm gonna transcript it here for your loling pleasure (it involves the Entrails Animals, what did you expect?):
H.K. Tiger: Would you mind turning on the TV? I heard there's a rerun of that one family anime that has a name related to the sea. (Pirka's note: Possibly Ponyo
E. Wildcat: The Tigers
game is much more important!
S.B. Bunny: Let's watch American porn on a pay channel! PORN
S. S. Dog: I want to see rare commercials you can only see in this region. (Pirka's note: Heh, I guess I have a bit in common with S.S. Dog then...[is an advertising nerd])
I would seriously watch a show consisting of nothing but these guys arguing over the TV. Dead serious.
However, Akane is rightfully upset at the interruption and sobs under the covers (couldn't she have kissed him and
have the awesome scene with the TV debate? Poor Akane...). Natsuru is called down to go to a public bath at the hotel, but is asked to come in his female form. Akane decides to come, too...Nats owes her. A lot. When we cut to the bath/indoor onsen, we get a taste of Hot Springs Episode
where a lot
of boob-groping occurs that I'm not gonna sum up here. For obvious reasons, Female!Natsuru runs off, scared crapless. She sits in one of the baths, but Not-Sakaki
looks really odd with her hair tied up
is there. No worries: she just wants to talk about what happened with Kaede, only minor flirting (I hope). But, speak of the devil: Kaede shows up and Not-Sakaki leaves. Kaede hypnotizes Natsuru again (proving she really wasn't
so stupid that she didn't realize both Natsurus were the same person) and tells her, Manchurian-Candidate-Style, that she should "know what to do". DUHH NUHH. The other girls appear, but Natsuru has already left to do whatever it is Sakura is urging him to.
We cut to Male!Natsuru, who is in Not-Sakaki's room. To make a long story short, Natsuru is being hypnotized to sex Not-Sakaki up, so we get a vaguely pornographic scene of them almost-but-not-quite-doin'-it. When Natsuru begins to snap out of the trance, he is able to say that Sakura forced him to do this, which gets him kneed in the crotch by Not-Sakaki but otherwise was indeed the right thing to do.
We cut to a short scene that features Sakura in a darkened room, talking about how she'll have to change her plans to achieve whatever goal she has in mind — we then realize she's talking to the White Kämpfers. Er, what a twist?
The last shot of the episode is of the gang leaving the hotel, when Kaede stops Not-Sakaki and attempts to hypnotize her
this time. It doesn't work, and Not-Sakaki is left knowing that Kaede is not to be trusted.
This episode was actually really good, in a So Bad, It's Good
kind of way. The plot was cheesy but enjoyable, the mascots were effing hilarious, and I want to know what happens next.
This is Pirka saying: Kaede, I don't care that you're evil — may I still have a plushie?
PSS: Fun Fact! The person who voices Strangled Stray Dog also voices Angol Mois in one of my favourite shows ever
, Keroro Gunsou