All Comments

Yay! Looking forward to it!!

Col. Should be fun. That said, bear in mind that like with many things, the beggining is not the best part. This is especially obvious due to the fact that the author is better with O Cs and worldbuilding than he is with the canon cast. Still, hope you enjoy it.

WOOT, can't wait.

Eh, yeah it takes a bit for the fic to really get going and find it's footing, the begging is fun, but it really starts to get going later. the part I dn't get, amsot none of the clothes they were actaully covers there rear. so why bother?

Okay, I changed my mind. Pinkie Pie is going to grow old quick.

Wow you had the same reaction I did and at nearly the same point.

^ The clothes rule isn't supposed to make sense, it's part of the meaningless oppression of the city.

I know this has been said repeatedly to you already, but this fic gets better later on. The fact that you prefer Ganon's handling of the mane 6 rather than O Cs is interesting. I wonder if you will change your mind later, when you get to know the O Cs better.

I look forward to it. It wouldn't be the first thing I've read where the author gets loads better over the course of their story and it's always fun to watch it happen. As it stands right now, it's definitely interesting, but falls right in line with my impression of it when I first saw it go up on EQD.

Agreed with Cookoo. The fic definitely improves over time. Also, a he said, your preference of Ganon's handling of canon characters to O Cs is...unusual to say the least. But I probably didn't are that much abou them at this point either as we hadn't got to properly know them yet.

As I've said before, New Pandemonium City is actually less of a Dysopia than I expected. And it comtains plenty of completely decent ponies.

I'll admit that I headjump too much in my own writng, so it doesn't really bother me in other people's writing. I simpl welcome a new point of view.

Yeah, I personally think that the mane reason Flathoof didn't want his name on the paperwork was Genre Saviness.

While Flthoof is indeed meant to be the Big Mac expy, I...don't actually think Tick Tock is supposed to be the Lyra expy...Unless we're to blinded by Awesome Snarky British Timepony to notice.

"Waitwaitwait. If New Pandemonium City and Utopia are separated by a magical wall of incomprehensible power, how on earth is there any traffic between the two?"

It's not actually designed to prevent ponies from crossing (still makes it difficult though). Can't say much more as it's almost all spoilers.

You're right that Silvertongue would be an awful way to play a CE character. Because he isn't CE at all. He's the LE cleric of a CE goddess (in a campaign which allows that). He commits arbitrary evil because it feeds his goddess. But most of his on-screen villany is either part of his plans, or punishing those who've dissapointed him.

Yeah, the wall is just a side effect of the two forces meeting,tehre are a few safe passages through it. And OH BOY, you have no idea, yeah the OC's start out a bit rought but they get MUCH better.

It's already been said but I think your problem with Silvertongue is you're reading him as CE for some reason.

So far, he does pointlessly evil things for teh evulz. And takes glee in it for its own sake. There's no other motivation, no indication that it's for a bigger cause, he just likes to cause suffering. That's textbook Chaotic Stupid.

Sorry, Stupid Evil, not Chaotic Stupid.

Well, that's not really on the Law-Chaos axis. And while Silvertongue has some sadistic tendencies, most of that is really Nihila. But yeah...rereading the early chapters made me realise that we didn't really know any of the O Cs well enough to judge them at this point. Also, Tick Tock was the unicorn who called Twilight a nudist in chapter 1! I never noticed! Makes sense that Tick Tock would be used to ponies undressing in front of her (the thread has decided to make her and another OC you've yet to meet as the Memetic Sex Gods of this fic. We find it hilarious to reinterpret every interaction she has with another character as sexual tension especially Foe Yay).

A couple more things: While Chronomancers represent Time Lords, they're not the same thing. For one thing, one's an occupation and the other's a species.

Also, apparently Shadowstep is actually supposed to be the Soarin' expy for some reason. However, IIRC, he was the first OC to impress both me and Seraph, so maybe he'll be the first you'll like.

Didn't know he was a Soarin Expy, but he is awesome, even GINGER loves him! but yeah you get a MUCH better idea of Silvertongue later, and can't say anything about him without spoilers. i will say this, Nihila is VERY CE, Silvetongue....you'll see.

Flathoof's character really starts coming to life in chapter 4. But you've given me a hilarious view of Flathoof in glasses going, "Evil is so manestream." and "I was a paladin before it was cool."

"but I just can't find her train of though believable. She's making intuitive leaps that she really shouldn't be able to "

So, you think that there's too much "artificial smartness" in the O Cs? Like how in Death Note, characters where able to work out stuff they really shouldn't have been capable of?

And now you've met Lockwood. The second Memetic Sex God of this story. As Ginger says, he's actually already seduced the entire cast, but as it didn't require him to exert effort, it happened off-screen.

Anyway, it makes MUCH more sense in a later chapter why Flathoof's capable of calling in such massive favours from Lockwood. Also, Lockwood's special talent is social networking, so this kind of thing is old hat to him.

"Ok, either Ganon FLCL is being really inconsistent with his building size, or I've got a completely borked up mental image of this mega-apartment. "

MOST floors would probably have been the better wording, but the mane point to take away is that the building is really badly organised.

"Anybody as trusting as these guys would be robbed blind twice a week, and pretty soon they'd learn to stop trusting random undocumented ponies they picked up off the street. "

The Mane 6's team actually do get bitten in the flank for being so trusting. However, Flathoof doesn't think that they'll be going anywhere, because he'll be watching them.

"Okay. That's straight-up shipping there. No bones about it. "

Believe it or not, gets more blatant over time.

"Am I in the process of watching Snapshot join the side of evil because she's horny and desperate? Because that's actually kind of cool."

That actually IS an interesting Start Of Darkness. I wonder if there are stories that have used it...that are good...and not porn.

"Oh! Is he a mindreader of some sort? Is that his special power? "

Thank you for that mental image. It will help me sleep at night. As if Shadowstep needed wasn't terrifying enough.

"Your methods are excessive and detrimental to your goals. Bad assassin! "

Silvertongue actualy does complain about this, but he still managed to clean up. Probably had strong cleaning agents and enzymes.

Still, you haven't seen him anyhere near his coolest and most effective yet.

"So, you think that there's too much "artificial smartness" in the O Cs? Like how in Death Note, characters where able to work out stuff they really shouldn't have been capable of?"

Yeah, but it's worse. In Death Note they were supposed to be geniuses and they explained the train of thought just often enough that I could believe it when they made those leaps.

In this story it's not a part of the character. She's basically acting as a video camera recording everything that the narrator wants us to see. She's not a character, she's just a tool.

Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't see how the "headjumping" is annoying or confusing. And yeah, Shadowstep gets better as the story progresses.

I always figured Snapshot and the others were just used to the city, and had a lot of experiences. As such, they were able to infer things pretty well. I don't know exactly which parts you're talking about though, so that might not work as an explanation.

I wasn't meaning to criticise Death Note. It's one of my favourite anime. I was just using a well known example. But mostly I agree with Swa. Probably personal prefferece on my part. Still, that kind of issue doesn't remain relevant for very long, so don't worry.

I', with those two, It took me two of your chapter reviews to even realise what you meant by "headjumping" and i don't recal it so it was something I just didn't notice. and yeah Lockwood 's secial talent is pretty much knowing exactly who he can trust, how much, making connections, stuff like that. And snapshot has most likely seen so many ponies in her line of work she's just gotten used to telling these sorts of things.

Oh, I also wanted to say that while Flathoof doesn't believe that they're from Utopia, he still likes to humour them about that, partially as h has no idea where they're acually from, so don't think he's lost several IQ points in chapter 4 agan. Also, chapter 4 is a major plot accelerating chapter as well.

"D: D: D: "

Yeah, I really feel sorry for Snapshot.

"Oh geeze, is our memetic sex goddess going to get herself ravished? "

Tick Tock has acquired her first stalker! :D

"Oh shit. Without them in their own universe, Discord is going to break out again. "

Discord's involvement was actually a retcon, but a good one IMO.

"I can forgive her any idiocy if she keeps the snark up. "

Tick Tock is so beautifully snarky.

"Please tell me that at some point in this story, Shadowstep yells "Sneak attack, bitch!" That would be the most awesome thing in the world. "

While it would be, Shadowstep seems to be too much of a gentlestallion to call his love a "bitch".

"Oh wait, he's going down to confirm. I take back the noob comment. Still, you need to develop some Genre Savvy. "

Yeah, he knows that he can't assume that she's dead, which annoys him.

"It seems this really is the point where it starts getting good. "

And it gets more fun later on!

Yup, and yeah my biggest complaint with this fic is how it handles Dash, she's the only one the REALLY seems OOC to me at times, it gets better in the newer chapters but till then, I just want o reach through smack gannon for writing it, and you knows it's bad when your pissed not at the character for doing something stupid, but at the writer for making them.

But there is a major payoff to Dash's issues so just slog through it.

Also, oh boy, you have no idea the snarkieness in store for you.

also how is discord a retcon?

These chapters were written before Season Two started; originally the world was just out of balance and that was bad, but Season Two brought Discord who the author retconned in since him escaping was much better. The author did a few other retcons here and there I think, based on Season Two episodes as they came out.

huh, interesting.

"This is...disappointingly underwhelming. I can see where the author is coming from with the tranquil rage thing, and approve of that; but other than that sentence, there's little evidence in his actions or words that indicates he's angry. This is a classic case of telling instead of showing. He doesn't even need to change all that much either. Throw in a few details about him taking some bites from his breakfast and leaving deep scratches in the plate with his knife or something. Drag it out with little details like that, make us wonder if that tranquil fury is on the verge of becoming non-tranquil. As things stand right now, there's no tension in the scene at all. "

You do have a point here, but Silvertongue's future rages are a bit more satisfying.

"This is actually a bad policy for any villain in charge to take. Instant-death-on-failure results in an extremely high turnover rate and you'll never get anypony to stay on long enough to build up the required experience to do the jobs you want. And the ones who are experienced and competent are valuable even if they have screwed the pooch big time. Severe punishment to put the fear of God into them is acceptable. Even demotion and humiliation if they're not up to working in that environment, but don't waste your best men unless they're an active danger to your continued prosperity. I take this as more evidence of Stupid Evil. The Chaotic traits I noticed in his first introduction have been toned down a lot, but not enough for me to declare an alignment change yet. "

You do have a point here, but Silvertongue's not as bad as some villians about this and he doesn't always punish through death as you'll see.

"If you really wanted to throw a bit of chaos into the mix, you'd charge a not inconsiderable fee for those mandated immunizations. Better yet, say it's free, but then hit them upside the head with other charges. Like a "waiting room fee." "

Another reason that the place is less of a dystopia than I expected.

"-facepalm- Never mind. Seriously, this sort of shipping seems really out of place in this story. "

Yeah, I get you there. But at least it kind of becomes relevant later on.

"Okay. The gag with the doctor trying to take Pinkie's readings is actually quite funny. I want to know what the Japanese part says. "

Same here!

"So. Not much happened in this chapter, but it set the stage for some interesting stuff down the line. I guess it was all right. When the mane six weren't talking to each other. Seriously though, why are they even friends in this story at all? They're all cunts. I am officailly rooting for everybody except the mane six. Go Nihila! Go Tick Tock! Go die in a fire Rarity! "

And now you understand why we love the O Cs so much more than the canon characters. Seriously, there's a chapter where they don't even appear and it's a very well regarded chapter!

Still, you have some very fun stuff to look forward to.

If you don't like the gay jokes about RD and Pinkie, Just wait until Chapter 18 or so.

Also, get ready, because the next few chapters are the slow unveiling of the best characters in the fic.

Oh no, not Stupid Evil, at all, jus wait and see.

love how your treating Dash, 'Stop saying the sme thing as me but making it sound stupid." yeh that's her big issue for most of it, what she says makes sense, but she says it in the most irrational argumentative, and inanely aggravating way possible.

but yeah the early mane 6 were rather annoying, they do get better later...MUCH later in dash's case...but the OO Cness of them is the fics biggest flaw, the story and OC's are epic.

Seriously, I think everyone is on your side when you say that the O Cs in this fic are better than the canon characters. Seriously, this fic has THE BEST O Cs in the fandom as far as I'm concerned. Even the brief little one-shot characters are all extremely good. Seriously, if there isn't a single OC in this fic you legitimately like by this point in the story, there is something wrong with you, and you're not even at the best ones yet (Tick Tock excluded)!

Slight spoiler, but he does a much better job of handling some of the other canon characters.

"Oh Tick Tock. You should know better than that. "

She really should. Then again, wih the kind of stuff she deals with, she probably doesn't consider him particularly abnormal yet.

"Ever since I started abbreviating Tick Tock's name as TT, I keep reading it as "Titty." It's distracting. "

Well, we did come to the conclusion that her humanised form must have a nice pair based on the attention she recieves. :-P

"Twi starts arguing with the Chronomancer about how magic doesn't work that way. Titty is appropriately annoyed. "

Oh yeah, Word Of God is that everyone in this fic thinks that they know more about what they're talking about than they actualy do. This becomes rather apparent in the later chapters.

"And now TT, who is starting to become affected by the idiocy field that the mane six project, has accidentally revealed who Doctor Whooves is. Dunno if that's going to come back to bite them in the ass. "

I'm not sure about that. It seems to have been working out well for her so far. I assumed that she did it to convince them which it did.

"I can't help but think it's a bad idea to do cross-dimensional shipping unless they manage to find a way around the whole "their existance in this world unbalances the fundamental forces of nature" deal. It might be an issue in their relationships. "

I've been thinking the same thing! I mean, those kind of long distance relationships don't end well. Unless they're planning on going "Hey! We've only known each other for a while, but dump your entire universe and come live with me!"

"Oh fuck this. Pinke has a pinchy knee and Twilight for some reason doesn't trust her powers any more? It's established canon that Twilight doesn't have a problem with the Pinkie Sense any more! There goes the last shred of my suspension of disbelief. "

I was taken aback by this, but apparently it was annoyance rather than disbelief which is a bit more understandable.

"Ha ha! As usual, the O Cs save the story. Tick Tock is cute like this. :3 "

They do that. And yeah, Tick Tock can be pretty cute. :3

"I liked Snapshot (D:). Why'd she have to go out like such a bitch? "

Agreed. D:

"GODDAMN IT FLATHOOF! CHECK THE FUCKING BODY! "

At least he's more Genre Savvy than Tick Tock here.

Next chapter is another plot accelarating one. I'm looking forward to your reaction to it.

I've been thinking the same thing! I mean, those kind of long distance relationships don't end well. Unless they're planning on going "Hey! We've only known each other for a while, but dump your entire universe and come live with me!"

Not to mention that having them come to our Equestria would probably throw off the balance in the same way. It wouldn't be as severe as it is now because Elements of Harmony and all, but all that would do is slow down the rate at which everything deteriorates, not stop it.

Eh, I get the impression that ordenary ponies don't really register. It takes phenominal cosmic forces to do that kind of thing.

Oh, another thing. IIRC, chapter 7 is the first chapter where the Mane 6 themselves don't actually appear, so that should give you some respite.

Yeah, I normal ponies wouldn't do anything, it is ONLY because the Mane 6 are the Elements of Harmony that it effects anything.

=D You seemed to give this chapter nothing but praise, which I think we all expected. Just wait until Chapter 9, where you get to see them in action - easily one of the best chapters in the fic.

I must admit that you're right that if Silvertongue was telling the truth, he would have been being an idiot with Shadowstep, but we later discover that he was lying and knew exactly what he was doing.

The plan was Silvertongue's idea.

"Wait, is Blatsauger supposed to be Photo Finish's expy?"

I don't think so.

"Elements of Discord. I wonder how similar they're going to be to the mane six when they were discorded. Either way, this is gonna be cool. "

Only one is really a lot like her discorded version, with two others being similar. In general, they're more competant though.

"I get the feeling that this Twilight is going to be extraordinarily evil and not very much like discorded Twi."

Oh, just you wait!

"I don't buy how easily Silvertongue is brushing aside the loss of his eye."

I must admit that that stretches my Willing Suspension Of Disbelief a bit. Eye Scream can actually kill you from the shock!

But yeah. You finally know about some of the most fun characters in the fic. Wait till chapter 9 where yo get to know them.

Ladies and Gentlemen, CRISIS: Equestria has OFFICIALLY BEGUN.

I HOPE YOU'RE STRAPPED IN TIGHT, BECAUSE WHEN WE HIT CHAPTER NINE THIS SHIT TAKES OFF

as to the eye, well you find out later just how much mental discipline he has instilled in himself over the years, it makes sense he can ignore it.

...If the Pinkie/Rainbow interaction bothers you that much, there might be some problems later. "Because song lyrics in a story are never important to the story itself." This may or may not be true later on. Just saying. And I still don't think the mane six are that annoying or Oo C myself, but I guess that's an opinion thing.

The other characters' OO Cness gets better as times goes by, minus Rainbow Dash who gets worse, but there's a reason for that.

^ Glad to hear that. If it's confined to only one or two characters I can handle it no matter how bad it gets. It's just when everyone is being an ass that I feel the need to get up in arms.

^^ I'll keep that in mind and remember to read any future songs.

Well, the specific instance I'm thinking of is hard to ignore. If it's Pinkie singing, it should be okay to skip, though.

As they said, the OO Cness does improve over time, but in RD's cse it orsens before it gets better due to...spoiler.

The shipping situation is a bit more complicated than is currently apparent.

Rarity is actually being a lot nicer than it currently looks (at least, she thinks that she is as you'll discover later. It's rather Green isn't your colour-ish).

As stated, the song lyrics do become significant eventually, but it'll still be several chapters before that happens.

Good news: Next chapter contains: No Mane 6! Evil clones! Awesomeness!

only pony whose was so OOC it pised me off was as said RD, but there is a HUGE payoff for it later. And yeh now that they are out of the city they start NOT being so annoying next chapter, HOOO boy hurry up it is EPIC!

I feel colossal amusement at how you feel about Rarity/Lockwood. Colossal. I am giggling like a schoolgirl over here.

We tend to call the evil clones collectivity 'the mean 6'. Because we like word play in this fandom it seems.

Also, Havocwing is evil Fluttershy, (remember the kind eyes?), and Grayscale Force is Rainbow Dash.

Grayscale=Rainbow Havocwing=Fluttershy

But Jetstream specifically thought of Dash when Havocwing came out.

Mean six. Got it.

Finally! We can talk about the Mean 6! Some of the most fun characters in the fic!

Havocwing has Dash's physique because they're both built for speed. But she's Fluttershy's opposite. Which ironically gives her a lot in common with RD.

Jetstream was such an idiot that I can't deny Silvertongue's logic that he was more useful as practice for the Mean 6.

All the Mean 6 have identical eyes to their counterpart which is a bit odd in some cases such as the kind eyes, angry face combo of Havocwing.

Starlight is still purple. Want some pics? They're quite pretty.

Actually Insipid does have to touch first. We still think that she's the most dangerous character in the entire fic though.

"The cutest dysfunctional family ever! "

So true! Some of the best things about this fic are the scenes of the Mean 6 nteracting with each other.

We like to compare Starlight with Azula and Greyscale with Mei.

If you liked Red Velvet here, then wait till you see her in action later! I think you'll like her. While we think that Insipid is the most dangerous, we think that Red is the most evil and terrifying.

Heck yes I want pictues!

Cover showing most major characters, but a bit small

Curacao

Starlight

Havocwing

Grayscale

Insipid

Red Velvet

I suppose that you can have Tick Tock as well.

Unfortunately, I can't find Nihila for some reason and the rest are a bit spoilery at this point.

Finally found Nihila!

ROFL supercancer

Well of course he's erratic, he's the head servant to the goddess of Chaos. But there is an underlying reason behind everything he does.

The common name for them is Mean 6

You mean Rogue, and yes she does, that's why she jabbed Havok

Yeah, Starlight's 'trash talk' is all about how epic and great and uber she is and how everypony else sucks, no actual bite to it.

Curacao while the least able in a direct fight, has proven to be by far the most dangerous and competent of the group, she's not suited for direct engagment but she knows how to still win while avoiding it.

As to Velvet's power it's fear based. Pinkie essentially gains power based laughter and joy, Velvet gains power from fear, she can only use the pocket dimension thing against ponies that are terrified of her.

And yes insipid's has the biggest potential of the Mean 6, but she's also to dumb to know this.

Yay you're finally here! Glad to hear your opinions on the main draw of the fic! These characters are amongst the best in the fandom, all around from their interactions with the other characters to one another. Looking forward to hearing your opinions on them as they grow as characters.

Like I said.

IT BEGINS.

Curaçao, opposite Applejack. The Element of Deception. [[memegenerator.net/Curaao-Bizarro-Applejack You never can tell with Curaçao around.]]

Grayscale Force, opposite Rainbow Dash. The Element of Apathy. One time, she forgot to turn her Gravity off, and she woke up ''covered in stallions.''

Havocwing, opposite Fluttershy. The Element of Fury. Arguably the best antipony of the bunch. You'll see why later.

Insipid, opposite Rarity. The Element of Avarice. The perfect little idiot, if incredibly unstable and dangerous.

Red Velvet, opposite Pinkie Pie. The Element of Fear. She can get pretty memetic, but recent events seem to be taking her down a different route.

Finally, Starlight Shadow, opposite Twilight Sparkle. The Element of Magic. Void Magic.

These six. The Elements of Discord. The Mean Six. The Show-Stealing Brigade. They are the ones that everyone here is reading CRISIS for. Don't lie to yourself, people. You know it's true.

The perfect O Cs in the history of pony O Cs. Is your body ready, CDRW? Is it?

It better be.

BECAUSE CRISIS: EQUESTRIA HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN, MOTHERFUCKERS

OUT IN THE WASTELANDS

AFTER THE REDBLADE MOUNTAINS

GARGANTUAN FIGHT

IT'S ON

WEAR A CUP