No Intelligent Life On Earth


(permanent link) added: 2009-09-02 10:25:46 sponsor: JAF1970 (last reply: 2009-09-04 23:12:19)

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When life gets you down, Mrs. Brown...

"''Pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.''
-- Mr. Pink, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

A Stock Joke that usually goes something like this:

Alice: "Did you hear that scientists are looking for intelligent life on other planets?" Bob: "There's no intelligent life on THIS planet!"

Seen It a Million Times.

Examples:

Film:
  • The aforementioned "The Galaxy Song" from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.
  • The beginning of Muppets In Space, as well as a trailer joke there.

Literature:
  • A chapter of Carl Sagan's book Pale Blue Dot is titled "Is There Intelligent Life On Earth?" and covers a fictional alien visitor observing things from space that cause it to ask that question.
  • Combined, oddly enough, with Crowning Moment of Heartwarming near the end of the novel George's Cosmic Treasure Hunt: "And through the portal they could see one of the most beautiful planets in the whole galaxy, where there is warmth, and light, and water. Where there is life. Some of it, possibly, intelligent."

Comic Books:
  • The comic strip Ziggy "We're looking for intelligent life. If you find any, call this number."
  • -->Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
    Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes, Scientific Progress Goes "Boink", page 29
    • Recycled by Shoe.

Live-Action TV
  • In the Frasier episode The Candidate, Frasier and Niles were both promoting a political candidate who they learn believes he was abducted by aliens. When they discuss whether they can keep supporting him in light of this there is this exchange:

    Niles: Answer me this: can you tell me with any certainty that in such a vast universe there isn't intelligent life on other planets?
    Frasier: (glares) At the moment, I'm not sure there's intelligent life in this kitchen!

Webcomics:
  • Used with alternate dimentions instead of space in the General Protection Fault / Kevin & Kell crossover, when Ki and Nick are visiting Kevin & Kell's world - filled with Talking Animals of every size and shape - but no humans. Leading to this exchange...

    Lindesfarne: So in your world, there's only ONE intelligent species?
    Ki: Yeah, Dolphins. Just kidding... but sometimes I think the jury's still out on us humans.
    Lindesfarne: But surely, with no significant differences to drive you appart, you must all live in peace and harmony!
    Ki: ...

Western Animation:
  • Johnny Bravo had this in one episode as an Expy of Kirk said that there was no intelligent life there while in the middle of a park right before the title character ended up switching places with him in a beam up on a parody of Star Trek.
  • Lilo And Stitch.
Whats Her Face:"Are they intelligent?" Pleakly:"No. But they're extremely fragile."

Other:
  • Kent Hovind used this joke in one of his "lectures."
  • On a T-shirt: "Beam me up, Scotty! There's no intelligent life down here!"

Related to Humans Are Bastards, Sufficiently Advanced Alien and You Suck. Contrast Humans Are Cthulhu.
replies: 30

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