Created By: NateTheGreatMay 9, 2013 Last Edited By: feranardOctober 9, 2014
Troped

One, Two, Skip A Few

A person inflates their oral count.

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DAN 004 wuz ere takin over ur druft


Miss Flamiel: "Yakko, can you count to 100?"
Yakko: "One, two, skip a few, 99, 100!"
Miss Flamiel: "No, give me all the numbers!"
Yakko: "Hey, it's only a six-minute cartoon."
Animaniacs, episode, "Chalkboard Bungle".

A person is counting something - be it exercise reps, money, items, etc. At first their counting is honest, but then said person intentionally jumps their count.

This can happen for several reasons: The person is tired of counting or doing something repeatedly (especially for exercise reps), or he/she is trying to impress someone nearby, or conversely, he/she is trying to deceive his friend/higher-up (especially with money count).

Contrast Losing Count.


Examples:

Comic Strip
  • There's a MAD Magazine comic featuring two guys at the gym, one of whom is counting "..105, 106, 107..". The other says "You must have awesome strength to do that many reps." "It's mind over matter. Whenever a pretty girl walks by, I start counting at 100".
  • Used twice in Calvin And Hobbes. In one strip he's doing push-ups and his counting is well in the hundreds, because he claims exercise is more rewarding if you count what it feels like. In another he's jump-roping, and is counting in the millions because higher numbers give him more time to jump over the rope.

Film
  • A variant from the Sgt Bilko movie, during a surprise inspection by Major Thorn, the title character has to tell one of his out-of-shape men to "drop and give me twenty". While the Major is distracted by something else, Bilko mercifully says "And 20", even though the private only managed about one and a half pushups.
  • Monsters Versus Aliens: The Missing Link is lifting weights when Susan walks by. "Seven, eight, nine hundred ninety-nine, one thousand."
  • Reversed in Spaceballs during the self-destruct countdown.
    Computer: Nine. Eight. Six.
    Skroob: Six?! W-what happened to seven?
    Computer: Just kidding!
  • And who can forget King Arthur from Monty Python And The Holy Grail
    King Arthur: One, two, Five!
    His servant what'shisname: Three, sir!
    King Arthur: Three!
  • In Home Alone, Kevin watches a gangster movie called "Angels with Filthy Souls" which features a scene where Johnny, the main character, sees off a fellow gangster:
    Johnny: Hey. I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes.
    [Johnny pulls out his tommygun]
    Johnny: I'm gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts fulla lead!
    Snakes: All right, Johnny, I'm sorry! I'm going!
    Johnny: One...two...ten!
    [Snakes gets thoroughly ventilated as Johnny laughs maniacally]
    Johnny: Keep the change, ya filthy animal!

Live Action TV
  • A variant in an episode of Red Dwarf, when Rimmer is trying to dictate an essay for a practice astronomy exam question, "What does the red spectrum tell us about quasars?" - although it's clear that he has no idea what a red spectrum or a quasar is. Lister enters the room and Rimmer immediately skips to "...in conclusion, this comprehensively answers the question of what the red spectrum tells us about quasars."
  • In the stage adaptation of Allo Allo, a scene begins with Herr Flick doing push-ups; when his love interest Helga enters, he adds a thousand to his count.
  • Don Draper does this by the book in a Season 1 episode of Mad Men. He's doing push-ups in his bedroom, counting under his breath, and when his wife enters the room he abruptly goes from single digits to somewhere in the nineties.

Music
  • As another example, the song Heroes by Sunday Driver has this directly in the lyrics: "Now I better stay home, counting brain cells. One, two, skip a few. Put them up for resale."

Theatre
  • Israeli playwright Khanokh Levin once wrote a skit satirising the peace talks between Israel and Egypt, showing the leaders of both sides in an ‘introductory round’, pondering meaningfully before giving a slightly higher number in an apparently meaningless count, making the mediator quickly lose his patience. When both of them have to leave for some time and leave him to continue in their place, he uses their absence to speed up the counting until he ‘reaches’ 2000 and declares the round over.

Video Games
  • In The Lost Crown, Nancy skips at least half the numbers when she's supposed to be counting to thirty in a game of hide-and-seek.

Web Comics
  • At one point in Schlock Mercenary, Tagon has mines limpeted to an enemy warship and gives then until the count of ten before he detonates one.
    Tagon: One. Two. Ten. [detonates mine] Oops, I think I skipped seven.
    Kevyn: My mother would argue you also skipped nine-and-a-half.

Western Animation
  • In the Animaniacs episode, "Chalkboard Bungle", Miss Flamiel asks Yakko to count to 100. Yakko counts to two before skipping to 99. When Miss Flamiel tells him to give her all the numbers, Yakko reminds her the cartoon's only six minutes long, implying that he has the ability to count all the numbers, just not the time to do so.
  • Bugs Bunny cartoon "Racketeer Rabbit":
    Hugo (a Peter Lorre expy): Rocky, the money, Rocky."
    Rocky (an Edward G. Robinson expy): Oh yeah, yeah." (counting:) One for you and one for me. Two for you and one, two for me. Three for you and one, two, three for me."
  • The catch phrase of the Ghost Busters, when shooting off their guns. "On, three. Three!" In one episode, the veteran member explicitly instructs the younger members to wait for him to count.
  • In Superman:The Animated Series, Lobo is introduced this way
    Lobo: Okay on the count of 10, I'm gonna slag this dump (paraphrased)
    Lobo: Ooooone, TEN!
    [Lobo pulls out a big gun, scene cuts to outside the bar with blasts of light creating holes in its structure from the inside]

Community Feedback Replies: 55
  • May 9, 2013
    DracMonster

    Hmm, would the old "one for you, one for me, two for you, one two for me.." gag fit in to this? I think you could expand this to when someone pulls a con with dubious counting.

    Counting On Inflated Numbers

    Counting On Miscounting
  • May 9, 2013
    TonyG
    ^^Link was lifting weights, and to top it off he brags about doing ten sets.
  • May 9, 2013
    Stratadrake
    Let's definitely brainstorm some titles.

    @Drac: No, that gag is not the same.
  • May 9, 2013
    NateTheGreat
    One Two Skip A Few keeps popping into my head, but I know that comes from something completely different.
  • May 10, 2013
    robinjohnson
    I was gonna suggest One Two Skip A Few. Seconding.
  • May 10, 2013
    arbiter099
    would a self demonstrating laconic work better? like, 1...2...3...9001...9002
  • May 10, 2013
    randomsurfer
    Contrast Losing Count.
  • June 1, 2013
    NateTheGreat
    Bump.
  • June 2, 2013
    robinjohnson
    A variant in an episode of Red Dwarf, when Rimmer is trying to dictate an essay for a practice astronomy exam question, "What does the red spectrum tell us about quasars?" - although it's clear that he has no idea what a red spectrum or a quasar is. Lister enters the room and Rimmer immediately skips to "...in conclusion, this comprehensively answers the question of what the red spectrum tells us about quasars."
  • June 30, 2013
    NateTheGreat
    Bump.
  • October 17, 2013
    NateTheGreat
    If we don't have more examples, it may be time to discard this one.
  • October 17, 2013
    robbulldog
    In the film of Sgt Bilko, during a surprise inspection by Major Thorn, the title character has to tell one of his out-of-shape men to "drop and give me twenty". While the Major is distracted by something else, Bilko mercifully says "And 20", even though the private only managed about one and a half pushups.
  • November 15, 2013
    NateTheGreat
    I'd like one more vote in favor of One Two Skip A Few before formally changing the name.
  • January 4, 2014
    NateTheGreat
    Bump.
  • January 4, 2014
    Paradisesnake
    Thirding One Two Skip A Few. You might want to add the posted examples in the draft.
  • January 4, 2014
    SharleeD
    • In The Lost Crown, Nancy skips at least half the numbers when she's supposed to be counting to thirty in a game of hide-and-seek.
  • January 23, 2014
    randomsurfer
    Does it have to be a counting thing? For example:
    • The Late Show with David Letterman has the champion from the National Best [grocery] Bagger competition every year, and Dave competes against the champion. As the champion gets close to finishing, Dave always blatantly cheats by either putting some of his groceries in the other person's pile or dumping the groceries he hasn't gotten around to bagging yet onto the floor behind the counter, to make it look like he finished first.
  • January 23, 2014
    FlyingDuckManGenesis
    Here's a quote I have for this article:

    Miss Flamiel: "Yakko, can you count to 100?"
    Yakko: "One, two, skip a few, 99, 100!"
    Miss Flamiel: "No, give me all the numbers!"
    Yakko: "Hey, it's only a six-minute cartoon."
    Animaniacs, episode, "Chalkboard Bungle".

    As well as an example from where it originated:

    • In the Animaniacs episode, "Chalkboard Bungle", Miss Flamiel asks Yakko to count to 100. Yakko counts to two before skipping to 99. When Miss Flamiel tells him to give her all the numbers, Yakko reminds her the cartoon's only six minutes long, implying that he has the ability to count all the numbers, just not the time to do so.

  • January 23, 2014
    ShanghaiSlave
  • January 23, 2014
    DAN004
    So who wanna grab this? Description says Up For Grabs.
  • January 23, 2014
    Dalillama
    There's a MAD Magazine comic featuring two guys at the gym, one of whom is counting "..105, 106, 107..". The other says "You must have awesome strength to do that many reps." "It's mind over matter. Whenever a pretty girl walks by, I start counting at 100".

  • January 23, 2014
    Tuckerscreator
    • Used twice in Calvin And Hobbes. In one strip he's doing push-ups and his counting is well in the hundreds, because he claims exercise is more rewarding if you count what it feels like. In another he's jump-roping, and is counting in the millions because higher numbers give him more time to jump over the rope.
  • January 24, 2014
    Arivne
    ^ I think this trope is about making yourself look better in order to impress someone else.
  • January 24, 2014
    henke37
    The title is great, but can it be made to rhyme? It feels like it should rhyme.
  • January 24, 2014
    robinjohnson
    ^ Er. It does rhyme?
  • January 24, 2014
    NateTheGreat
    Yeah. Is there an accent where "two" and "few" don't rhyme?
  • January 24, 2014
    ShanghaiSlave
    ^ Same. First I've heard of that(two and few somehow not rhyming). and I'm not a native speaker.
  • January 24, 2014
    robinjohnson
    I suppose if you aren't familiar with the playground rhyme, it could be hard to know what the scansion is, so you might not spot the rhyme. It's hard to render this in text, but I'll have a go: "One[beat], two[beat]/ Skip[beat] a few[beat]/ Nine[beat]ty-nine[beat], a hund[beat]red!"
  • July 19, 2014
    NateTheGreat
    Bump.
  • July 19, 2014
    DAN004
    Make it "one, two, skip a few".

    Compare Listing Stutter ykttw.

    @Nate: are you still managing this?
  • July 19, 2014
    SpiderRider3
    Formatted draft, categorized examples, and namespaced work titles.
  • July 20, 2014
    NateTheGreat
    Technically I was never managing this YKTTW, I just had the original idea. It's Up For Grabs.
  • July 20, 2014
    DAN004
    ^ yay.
  • July 20, 2014
    PaulA
    In the stage adaptation of Allo Allo, a scene begins with Herr Flick doing push-ups; when his love interest Helga enters, he adds a thousand to his count.
  • July 23, 2014
    JonnyB
    The "one two for me" bit was done in the Bugs Bunny cartoon "Racketeer Rabbit".
    Hugo (a Peter Lorre expy): Rocky, the money, Rocky."
    Rocky (an Edward G. Robinson expy): Oh yeah, yeah." (counting:) One for you and one for me. Two for you and one, two for me. Three for you and one, two, three for me."
  • July 25, 2014
    DAN004
    Bumpeth
  • July 25, 2014
    randomsurfer
    ^^I'm thinking that's more like the Quick Change con than this.
  • August 5, 2014
    DAN004
    pmub
  • August 8, 2014
    cruise
    As another example, the song Heroes by Sunday Driver has this directly in the lyrics: "Now I better stay home, counting brain cells. One, two, skip a few. Put them up for resale."
  • August 11, 2014
    DAN004
    Bump?
  • August 13, 2014
    IndirectActiveTransport
    The catch phrase of the Ghost Busters, when shooting off their guns. "On, three. Three!" In one episode, the veteran member explicitly instructs the younger members to wait for him to count.
  • August 13, 2014
    DAN004
    ^ personal Fridge Brilliance: they don't say "on the count of three". XD
  • September 2, 2014
    DAN004
    Buuuuuump
  • September 5, 2014
    DAN004
    pmub
  • September 10, 2014
    dalek955
    • At one point in Schlock Mercenary, Tagon has mines limpeted to an enemy warship and gives then until the count of ten before he detonates one.
      Tagon: One. Two. Ten. [detonates mine] Oops, I think I skipped seven.
      Kevyn: My mother would argue you also skipped nine-and-a-half.
    • Reversed in Spaceballs during the self-destruct countdown.
      Computer: Nine. Eight. Six.
      Skroob: Six?! W-what happened to seven?
      Computer: Just kidding!
  • September 10, 2014
    SolipSchism
    Don Draper does this by the book in a Season 1 episode of Mad Men. He's doing push-ups in his bedroom, counting under his breath, and when his wife enters the room he abruptly goes from single digits to somewhere in the nineties.
  • September 16, 2014
    DAN004
    bump.
  • September 21, 2014
    dalek955
    ^^^In the Schlock Merc example, he's giving them "until ten" to surrender.
  • September 22, 2014
    TwoGunAngel
    • In Home Alone, Kevin watches a gangster movie called "Angels with Filthy Souls" which features a scene where Johnny, the main character, sees off a fellow gangster:
      Johnny: Hey. I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes.
      [Johnny pulls out his tommygun]
      Johnny: I'm gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts fulla lead!
      Snakes: All right, Johnny, I'm sorry! I'm going!
      Johnny: One...two...ten!
      [Snakes gets thoroughly ventilated as Johnny laughs maniacally]
      Johnny: Keep the change, ya filthy animal!
  • September 29, 2014
    DAN004
    One moar hat plz.
  • September 29, 2014
    feranard
    In Superman:The Animated Series, Lobo is introduced this way
    Lobo: Okay on the count of 10, I'm gonna slag this dump (paraphrased)
    Lobo: Ooooone, TEN!
    [Lobo pulls out a big gun, scene cuts to outside the bar with blasts of light creating holes in its structure from the inside]
  • September 29, 2014
    feranard
    And who can forget King Arthur from Monty Python And The Holy Grail

    King Arthur: One, two, Five!
    His servant what'shisname: Three, sir!
    King Arthur: Three!
  • October 1, 2014
    dexterian120
    Eighteen examples, I think we're ready. Adding a hat.
  • October 9, 2014
    DAN004
    Final bump.

    What would be the indices?
  • October 9, 2014
    randomsurfer
    • Family Guy: Brian tries to impress a hot girl he has seen coming to a coffee shop after running by putting on a headband, acting like he just got done with a run himself.
      Brian: And, one thousand, whew!
      Girl: One thousand what?
      Brian: Percent, that's what!

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