Do we have this one?
A character dismisses an extremely explicit, detailed, obvious and/or incontrovertible connection as too vague
. This might be a Hail Mary attempt at denial
, avoiding a conclusion with some cognitive dissonance
, or sometimes earnestly just failing to connect the dots
. The first variety is frequently used as a knee-jerk response to open-and-shut accusations. Example: The police say the bank robber was a one-legged man with a pirate hat, a parrot on his shoulder and a name tag saying "L.J.S.", to which Long John Silver replies, "Oh, well, that could be anyone!
- In Youth in Revolt, after causing a large fire, Nick Twisp uses this defense when his mom's cop-boyfriend reads out a description of the arsonist that perfectly fits him ("white teenage male, approximately 5í9, 135 lbs, dirty blond hair, last seen pulling a trailer with the words 'Godís Perfect Asshole' painted on the side").
- Mayor Quimby from The Simpsons is a fan of this defense:
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I got pictures of you, Quimby.
Mayor Quimby: You don't scare me, that could be anyone's ass.
Mayor Quimby: [upon display of a photo clearly showing him walking out of the Maison Derriere, "Mayor" sash and all] Uh, well, that could be any mayor.
- In Family Guy with Lois denying increasingly specific evidence that her brother Patrick is the fat guy strangler:
Peter: What about that dead fat guy under the bed?
Brian: What about that other half-dead fat guy?
Half-Dead Fat Guy: Patrick did it.
Lois: It could be any Patrick.
- Futurama, when Bender denies that his thoughts are being received by nearby electronics.
Woman: They're on my cell phone too!
Bender: Madame, I believe you're mistaken...
[Bender's voice from cell phone: "Wow, that lady's got a huge ass!"]
Bender: Those could be anyone's thoughts, fat-ass.