Line #12 Quotes/SnakeOilSalesman


1	-> Remember: People still sell snake oil. [[AllNaturalSnakeOil They just put pictures of leaves on the bottle now]].
2	-->-- '''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_18549_8-health-foods-that-are-bad-your-health_p2.html 8 Health Foods That Are Bad For Your Health]]'''
3
4	->We'll drink, a drink, a drink,\
5	To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink,\
6	The saviour of the human race.\
7	For she invented Medicinal Compound,\
8	Most efficacious in ev'ry case.
9	-->--''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydia_Pinkham Lily the Pink]]'', '''Scaffold'''
10
11	->''"Sell your tonics elsewhere, miracle man!"''
12	-->-- '''The Engineer''' upon dominating a '''Medic''', ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2''
13
14	-> By definition (I begin), alternative medicine (I continue) has either not been proved to work or been proved not to work. Do you know what they call alternative medicine that's been proved to work? Medicine.
15	-->-- Music/TimMinchin
16
17	->'''Wallace''': So we sell two products here, [=NasaPRO=] and [=NasaPRO=] Silver. We aim this at seniors. Now, you can't legally call it medicine because it doesn't technically "work" and it is technically "chalk", so what you're gonna want to do --\
18	'''Eleanor''': You need me to lie to old people and scare them into buying fake medicine. I get it, man.
19	-->-- ''Series/TheGoodPlace''
20
21	->The Mystery Man got nervous\
22	And he fidget around a bit\
23	He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe\
24	And he whipped out a shaving kit\
25	Now, I thought it was a razor\
26	And a can of foamin' goo\
27	But he told me right then when the top popped open\
28	There was nothin' his box won't do\
29	With the oil of Aphrodite\
30	And the dust of Music/TheGrandWazoo\
31	He said: "You might not believe this, little fella\
32	But it'll cure your Asthma too!"
33	-->-- '''Music/FrankZappa''', ''[[Music/{{Apostrophe}} Cosmik Debris]]''
34
35	->''"'Tis my strong conviction that every man, woman, and child has the right to a '''decent''' life, do they not? A life '''free''' of struggles and hardship! '''Freeeee''' of a bad complexion! '''Free''' of clogged chakras! And '''free''' of having to read a '''single''' science textbook!"''
36	-->--'''WebVideo/JonTron''' (as "Dr. Jonathan Tronley"), "Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop"
37
38	->''"My friends, this here bottle contains a guaranteed all-purpose remedy for prostration, inflation and frustration! Pneumonia and old monia! Distemper, dat temper and bad temper! Sunburn, heartburn, and Radio/TonyBlackburn!"''
39	-->-- '''Graham Garden''', ''Series/TheGoodies'', "Hospital for Hire"
40
41	->'''Mr. Dale:''' My daughter gained her super-strength by drinking this '''power tonic''' every day for one month! It's made from an ancient Indian formula! Drink it and it will give you the same powers, folks!\
42	'''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}:''' (thinking) Great Krypton! This was all a... a '''racket'''!
43	-->-- ''ComicBook/ActionComics'' #254
44
45	->'''Shang Tsung''': This elixir is crafted from an ancient recipe. It has Pattreon flowers, Margovian nectar, and powdered teeth of an Arctikan dragon, all this and more, infused with powerful Lekorian magic. There is a village in the next canton over, where everyone has purchased this miracle cure. Overnight, all diseases -- even ''Tarkat'' - have disappeared! Now, magic this potent is expensive, and I am sure you are asking yourselves, "Can I afford it?" But the true question you must ask is, "Can I afford to be without it?"\
46	'''Dissatisfied Customer''': You lie, Shang Tsung! Your cures are useless!\
47	'''Shang Tsung''': I'm sorry, you are...?\
48	'''Dissatisfied Customer''': Someone fool enough to have believed you! My daughter was dying when you came to my farm. You promised a miracle, and I gave you all I had, but only days later...she was ''dead''.\
49	'''Shang Tsung''': ''[smug chuckle]'' That is impossible. My magic could not have failed her.\
50	'''Dissatisfied Customer''': '''''THERE WAS NO MAGIC!!''''' I took your elixir to an imperial mage, and you know what she said?! ''[angrily throws Shang Tsung's "cure" to the ground]'' IT'S NOTHING! JUST BORJANG TEA!
51	-->-- ''VideoGame/MortalKombat1''
52

Context Quotes / SnakeOilSalesman