Quotes / Snake Oil Salesman

We'll drink, a drink, a drink,
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink,
The saviour of the human race.
For she invented Medicinal Compound,
Most efficacious in ev'ry case.
Lily the Pink, Scaffold

"Sell your tonics elsewhere, miracle man!"
The Engineer upon dominating a Medic

By definition (I begin), alternative medicine (I continue) has either not been proved to work or been proved not to work. Do you know what they call alternative medicine that's been proved to work? Medicine.

Wallace: So we sell two products here, NasaPRO and NasaPRO Silver. We aim this at seniors. Now, you can't legally call it medicine because it doesn't technically "work" and it is technically "chalk", so what you're gonna want to do —
Eleanor: You need me to lie to old people and scare them into buying fake medicine. I get it, man.