1 | ->''Terrible Tudors, Gorgeous Georgians,'' |
2 | ->''Slimy Stuarts, Vile Victorians,'' |
3 | ->''Woeful wars, ferocious fights,'' |
4 | ->''Dingy castles, daring knights!'' |
5 | ->''Horrors that defy description'' |
6 | ->''Cut-Throat Celts, Awful Egyptians'' |
7 | ->''Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes'' |
8 | ->''Punishments from ancient times!'' |
9 | ->''Romans, rotten rank and ruthless'' |
10 | ->''Cavemen, savage fierce and toothless'' |
11 | ->''Groovy Greeks, brainy sages'' |
12 | ->''Mean and measly Middle Ages!'' |
13 | ->''Gory stories we do that'' |
14 | ->''And your host, a talking rat!'' |
15 | ->''The past is no longer a mystery'' |
16 | ->''Welcome to'' '''Horrible Histories!''' |
17 | |
18 | ->''Tall tales, atrocious acts'' |
19 | ->''We gave you all the fearsome facts'' |
20 | ->''The ugly truth, no glam or glitz'' |
21 | ->''We showed you all the juicy bits'' |
22 | ->''Gory, ghastly, mean and cruel'' |
23 | ->''Stuff they don't teach you at school'' |
24 | ->''The past is no longer a mystery'' |
25 | ->''Hope you enjoyed'' '''Horrible Histories!''' |
26 | -->--ExpositoryThemeTune |
27 | |
28 | ----- |
29 | |
30 | ->''Stone Age brought you speech''\ |
31 | ''Farms, the wheel and fire''\ |
32 | ''Then metal was explored, which meant we could make swords to kill and build empires.''\ |
33 | ''Think Ancient Egypt was nicer? Pharaohs, tombs, lovely shrines?''\ |
34 | ''But some were living graves for hundreds of poor slaves and pig’s eye was our cure for the blind...''\ |
35 | ''Greek civilisation our creation, drama and philosophy''\ |
36 | ''But Sparta praised lying, celebrated dying--''\ |
37 | ''And Hippocrates drank wee!''\ |
38 | \ |
39 | ''We’re History''\ |
40 | ''We brought you bloodshed''\ |
41 | ''Greek excursions to battle the Persians''\ |
42 | ''Disembowelling our dead.''\ |
43 | ''Together we made the world a little bit grim''\ |
44 | ''We’re History;''\ |
45 | ''Could be fairly... dim.''\ |
46 | \ |
47 | ''We Romans brought you roads, and public medicine''\ |
48 | ''Gladiator fighting, feeding men to lions, burning Christians... that kind of thing, you know.''\ |
49 | ''Then came the Middle Ages; Saxons, Normans, Vikings, Celts,''\ |
50 | ''A time of invasion, feudalism, famine, Black Death, buboes and welts.''\ |
51 | ''1066 saw Harold in a fix as William conquered all''\ |
52 | ''What was the bettin’ an arrow in his retina would lead to his downfall?''\ |
53 | \ |
54 | ''We’re History''\ |
55 | ''We brought invasion and strife''\ |
56 | ''We attacked monasteries, said “Give us gold, please”, then we took your life!''\ |
57 | ''Our Crusades meant slaughter''\ |
58 | ''Wherever we’d go''\ |
59 | ''We’re History...''\ |
60 | ''Was it pretty? No.''\ |
61 | \ |
62 | ''Tudor, Stuart, Georgian monarchs next in line''\ |
63 | ''Brought progress in science and art.''\ |
64 | ''Also beheadings, burnings, civil war''\ |
65 | ''Greed and colonies, for a start.''\ |
66 | \ |
67 | ''We’re History''\ |
68 | ''We gave you plague and disease''\ |
69 | ''Travelled, found the Incans, spread smallpox in a blink and''\ |
70 | ''Brought them to their knees!''\ |
71 | ''Dogs, cats and the French blamed''\ |
72 | ''For plague, along the way''\ |
73 | ''We’re History...''\ |
74 | ''Not such happy days.''\ |
75 | \ |
76 | ''Victorian technology went hand-in-hand with poverty''\ |
77 | ''Kids up chimneys and down mines''\ |
78 | ''Improvements to the world did pick up, despite some violent hiccups--''\ |
79 | ''Two World Wars, millions died!''\ |
80 | \ |
81 | ''We’re History''\ |
82 | ''Our times smelly and gory''\ |
83 | ''We reigned over you and told you what to do''\ |
84 | ''And that is this story.''\ |
85 | ''Thought we were amazing''\ |
86 | ''Though you may quibble--''\ |
87 | ''We’re History... and we made it horrible!''\ |
88 | ''We’re History...''\ |
89 | -->--Finale song |
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