1 | ->'''Paladin's Handbook:''' ''If you hear the minions of evil calling dibs on your gear, pray or run.'' |
2 | |
3 | ->'''Big Ears:''' I want the power to stop innocents from dying. To protect others instead of just standing around helplessly. What? Is that a dumb answer? It's stupid, right?\ |
4 | '''Fumbles:''' Congratulations Big Ears, you're now a first level [[KnightInShiningArmor paladin]]. |
5 | |
6 | ->'''Complains:''' What? I don't have a temper.\ |
7 | ''[{{Beat}}. The others burst out laughing.]''\ |
8 | '''Big Ears:''' ''[imitating Complains]'' I'll get you Minmax! I swear by the foam coming out of my mouth that I'll get yoooouuuuu! |
9 | |
10 | ->'''Chief:''' Fine. I'll be something that stays out of the way and never has to do anything exciting, but is still pestered by everyone in the group.\ |
11 | '''Fumbles:''' Woohoo! We have a [[WhiteMage cleric!]] |
12 | |
13 | ->'''Forgath:''' [[AdultChild Yer an infant, you know that?]] |
14 | |
15 | ->'''Chief:''' Your impression of [[EvilWeapon an evil fork]] is uncanny, but items and objects can ''not'' be evil. |
16 | |
17 | ->'''Chief:''' Blaah! That sounds terrible! Why would ''anyone'' want to become a paladin?\ |
18 | '''Big Ears:''' So others don't have to. |
19 | |
20 | ->'''Thaco:''' Blindly throwing yourself into the fires of hell won't stop others from burning. |
21 | |
22 | ->'''Chief:''' Thaco, if you can tell me that there is absolutely no chance of us being able to rescue Fumbles, [[KnowWhenToFoldEm then we'll call this mission a failure and leave.]] But if there's even the slightest chance that we can succeed, [[NoOneGetsLeftBehind then we have to try.]]\ |
23 | ''[Very long pause]''\ |
24 | '''Thaco:''' Alright, here's our plan... |
25 | |
26 | ->'''Ears:''' I detect sarcasm.\ |
27 | '''Chief:''' You have to be a paladin to [[DetectEvil detect]] Thaco's sarcasm?\ |
28 | '''Ears:''' You have to be a ''noun'' to detect Thaco's sarcasm. |
29 | |
30 | ->'''Complains:''' Ears, I can't move in the state I'm in and you're already pretty much carrying Fumbles. So I want you to listen very carefully...\ |
31 | '''Ears:''' ''No!'' I am ''not'' leaving you behind, Complains!\ |
32 | '''Complains:''' ''[beat]'' Are you ''high?!'' I was ''going'' to say that we should find a board or something to put me on, and maybe you could drag me out of here! Damn right you're not leaving me behind! |
33 | |
34 | ->'''Thaco:''' What happened to you?\ |
35 | '''Complains:''' [[RandomEffectSpell Shield of Wonder.]] [[ForcedTransformation Part demon now.]] You?\ |
36 | '''Thaco:''' Climactic battle with the hero. |
37 | |
38 | ->'''Ears:''' Right now, you have a magically sharpened axe pressed carefully but sternly at the base of your throat. It's there because you've annoyed me. What do you think will happen if you make me angry? |
39 | |
40 | ->'''Minmax:''' Careful Dellyn, [[IronicEcho I heard a rumor]] about [[{{Scrub}} those who die complaining about the rules.]] |
41 | |
42 | ->'''K'seliss:''' For the love of meat, ''shut up!'' No one wants to hear [[{{Wangst}} your emo character background!]] My hands are [[BodyHorror literally melting away]] and I'm complaining less than you are! |
43 | |
44 | ->'''Demoness[[note]][[IronicEcho and later Fox]][[/note]]:''' I find it astounding how often creatures mistake their own stupidity for a lack of fairness. |
45 | |
46 | ->'''Dies:''' So...we're not responsible for our failures?\ |
47 | '''Riss:''' Exactly. It is simply the will of Maglubiyet, so you should feel no shame.\ |
48 | '''Dies:''' Then...by that logic, [[ShutUpHannibal you're not responsible for your success and should feel no pride]]. |
49 | |
50 | ->'''Grem:''' I am a [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy goblin prince]]. [[HonorBeforeReason I know when to fight.]] |
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