1 | [[foldercontrol]] |
2 | |
3 | [[folder:The Ballad of the Demo of Freddy Pharkas]] |
4 | -->''When the West was wild and lawless,'' |
5 | -->''There was once a druggist, brave and flawless,'' |
6 | -->''Named Freddy Pharkas,'' |
7 | -->''A champion through and through.'' |
8 | |
9 | -->''Now his life's the stuff of stories,'' |
10 | -->''Of computer games with inventories,'' |
11 | -->''Puzzles and graphics, and twisted humor too.'' |
12 | |
13 | -->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
14 | -->''Showing you how the West was fun,'' |
15 | -->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
16 | -->''Pharmacist with a gun.'' |
17 | |
18 | -->''Freddy's fable is an earful:'' |
19 | -->''Back when men were men and sheep were fearful,'' |
20 | -->''Folks down in Coarsegold were headin' downhill fast.'' |
21 | |
22 | -->''Then a villain, spreading mayhem,'' |
23 | -->''Comes to town and tries to scare away them,'' |
24 | -->''Can Freddy save them, and reconcile his past?'' |
25 | |
26 | -->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
27 | -->''Hiding out from his own dark youth,'' |
28 | -->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
29 | -->''Stands for justice and truth.'' |
30 | |
31 | -->''Now the game of Freddy Pharkas'' |
32 | -->''Is from old Creator/AlLowe, who made his mark as'' |
33 | -->''Dad and designer of [[VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry Larrys one through five.]]'' |
34 | |
35 | -->''But while Larry's slightly dirty,'' |
36 | -->''Freddy isn't anywhere as nerdy,'' |
37 | -->''Short, lewd or balding, nor pushing forty-five.'' |
38 | |
39 | -->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
40 | -->''Digitized and in VGA.'' |
41 | -->''Freddy Pharkas. Freddy Pharkas.'' |
42 | -->''Saddle up and let's play.'' |
43 | [[/folder]] |
44 | |
45 | [[folder:The Ballad of Freddy Pharkas]] |
46 | -->''He was born in old St. Louie,'' |
47 | -->''By the age of four Dad knew he was the'' |
48 | -->''Best little crackshot the West had ever seen.'' |
49 | |
50 | -->''By the time he reached pubescence,'' |
51 | -->''He could outshoot all the adolescents'' |
52 | -->''West of Durango and North of Abilene.'' |
53 | |
54 | -->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
55 | -->''Famous gunslingin' deputy.'' |
56 | -->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas,'' |
57 | -->''Frontier hero-to-be.'' |
58 | |
59 | -->''Then one day young Freddy Pharkas'' |
60 | -->''Stared at eyes as black and dark as Night, the'' |
61 | -->''Eyes of an outlaw, well-known throughout the West.'' |
62 | |
63 | -->''Oh, the tough kid's name was Kenny,'' |
64 | -->''And he outdrew Freddy Pharkas when he'' |
65 | -->''Shot Freddy's ear off, to prove who was the best.'' |
66 | |
67 | -->''Now our hero, Freddy Pharkas,'' |
68 | -->''With his wounded pride and earless carcass,'' |
69 | -->''Vowed to the heavens to give up gunnery.'' |
70 | |
71 | -->''He'd be better off, he reckoned,'' |
72 | -->''With the lifelong dream that always beckoned:'' |
73 | -->''Pestles, not pistols, and pharmacology.'' |
74 | |
75 | -->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas,'' |
76 | -->''Highest score on his S.A.T.,'' |
77 | -->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas,'' |
78 | -->''Five-year college degree.'' |
79 | |
80 | -->''After Fred matriculated,'' |
81 | -->''Got his Ph.D. and graduated,'' |
82 | -->''Moved out to Coarsegold and bought a pharmacy,'' |
83 | |
84 | -->''He's a real prescription writer,'' |
85 | -->''And they don't know he's an ex-gunfighter,'' |
86 | -->''Locked up his mem'ries, repressed them totally.'' |
87 | |
88 | -->''But his peaceful new survival'' |
89 | -->''Soon was shot to hell upon arrival'' |
90 | -->''Of Coarsegold's schoolmarm, the sweet Penelope.'' |
91 | |
92 | -->''She had captured Fred's affection,'' |
93 | -->''But he's scared he'll get a huge... rejection,'' |
94 | -->''Can't bear to tell her just what he used to be.'' |
95 | |
96 | -->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
97 | -->''Frontier Pharmacist bourgeoisie,'' |
98 | -->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
99 | -->''Peerless, earless and free!'' |
100 | [[/folder]] |
101 | |
102 | [[folder:The Ballad of the End of the Game of Freddy Pharkas]] |
103 | -->''Now the whole town still remembers'' |
104 | -->''How the old schoolhouse was blown to embers'' |
105 | -->''Though Miss Primm's body was never, ever found.'' |
106 | -->''Since the sheriff and the banker'' |
107 | -->''Made the folks of Coarsegold red with anger,'' |
108 | -->''They tarred and feathered and ran 'em out of town.'' |
109 | |
110 | -->''And Srini? He became an ordinary Rexall tepee shaman'' |
111 | -->''Down on the Pecos, where Injun hearts still burn.'' |
112 | -->''While the townsfolk, safe from danger'' |
113 | -->''Talk about that silver-earlobed stranger:'' |
114 | -->''Where did he come from?'' |
115 | -->''And when will he return?'' |
116 | |
117 | -->''Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
118 | -->''Black gold fields were his legacy.'' |
119 | -->''Freddy Pharkas, Freddy Pharkas.'' |
120 | -->''Peerless, earless and free!'' |
121 | [[/folder]] |
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