Line #25 Quotes/FetishRetardant


1	!!Fiction
2
3	[[AC:Literature]]
4	->''"I attempted to draw the sexiest babes I could, but they came out looking absurd."''
5	-->-- '''Creator/DrSeuss''', on his failed "adult" book ''The Seven Lady Godivas''
6
7	[[AC:Live-Action TV]]
8	->''"Look, eventually you hit a point of diminishing returns on the sexiness."''
9	-->-- '''Jeff Winger''', ''Series/{{Community}}''
10
11	->''"When sexy becomes annoying!"''
12	-->-- '''Crow T. Robot''', ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'', on ''Film/TheGirlInGoldBoots'
13
14	->'''Roy:''' Too many "fucks"?\
15	'''Ted:''' I don't know. Kinda like all the nipples in that movie ''Film/{{Showgirls}}''. Halfway through you don't even notice them anymore.
16	-->-- Discussion on Roy's [[SirSwearsALot language]], ''Series/TedLasso''
17
18	!!Reviews
19	[[foldercontrol]]
20
21	[[folder:On Advertisement]]
22	->''"My peepee got confused, and it fell off!"''
23	-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Caddicarus}}''' on a Japanese commercial for ''VideoGame/MisterMosquito''
24	[[/folder]]
25
26	[[folder:On Anime]]
27	->''"This show is to regular {{ecchi}} what [[TomeOfEldritchLore eldritch texts]] are to self-help books. I'm pretty sure that if you tried using this for its intended purpose, your dong would come out the other end looking like a Creator/JunjiIto creation."''
28	-->-- '''WebVideo/MothersBasement''' on ''Literature/MySisterMyWriter''
29	[[/folder]]
30
31	[[folder:On Comic Books]]
32	->The most important thing you need to know before reading about all the terrible things Creator/RobLiefeld has drawn is that he has never seen or talked to a woman in his life and has no idea what they look like or how their bodies operate. If you asked Rob Liefeld to draw a diagram of the uterus he'd put on a pair of gauntlets and punch the shit out of your chalkboard. This is how the man operates, and though I know it sounds like a lot, you have to believe me. I don't want you looking at the stuff he's drawing and think he's a conscious adult male with a creative job who can and has influenced the minds of young artists. The man is a pair of blue jeans with a face. He has on a backwards cap, and when he turns it around, it's still backwards. Got it? Okay. The #40 spot is a catch-all for "any time Rob Liefeld has ever drawn a woman." We get more specific from here, but if we didn't lump these together the entire list would be broken spines and colossal hooters.\
33	I genuinely feel these are mistakes.\
34	This is what a woman looks like to Rob Liefeld. I can't even kid about this. It's fucking ridiculous. Fucking ricockulous. She's wearing a string of pouches where her stomach should but could not possibly be and both her thighs and forearms are larger than her abdomen. She has a big ole ass and torpedo tits, and I genuinely think that when Rob finished drawing her he sat back, frowned, looked over at his friend, and said "yikes, sorry, guy."
35	-->-- '''Progressive Boink''', "[[https://www.progressiveboink.com/2012/4/21/2960508/worst-rob-liefeld-drawings The Top 40 Worst Rob Liefeld Drawings]]"
36	[[/folder]]
37
38	[[folder:On Film -- Live-Action]]
39	->''"Do you like sex? Well, not for long!"''
40	-->-- '''WebVideo/HonestTrailers''', on ''Film/TheRoom2003'' (and later, ''Film/{{Showgirls}}'')
41
42	->''"Lace up for a movie full of non-stop foot stuff... that is either a foot fetishist's wet dream [[AgonyOfTheFeet or their worst nightmare]]. Or a different, even weirder [[Creator/QuentinTarantino Tarantino]] foot fetishist's dream! We're not here to judge!"''
43	-->-- '''WebVideo/HonestTrailers''' on ''Film/DieHard''
44
45	->''"Watching ''Film/{{Cats}}'' is like stumbling upon an unholy and heretofore unknown genre of porn. Every time these horny fur demons tongue a milk bowl and start moaning, I was certain the FBI would raid the theater."''
46	-->-- '''Kyle Buchanan'''
47
48	->''"Yes, they managed to take a scene where Creator/JenniferLopez is doing yoga and talking about sex and make it boring. I didn't even think that was possible."''
49	-->-- '''[=FanboyFlicks=]''' on ''Film/{{Gigli}}''
50	[[/folder]]
51
52	[[folder:On Literature]]
53	->''I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to get hot beneath the collar or consult a thesaurus.''
54	-->-- '''Glorious Trash''' review of Eric Van Lustbader's ''The Ninja''
55
56	->''"...but, for me personally, when pregnancy is brought into a sexy story in ''any way'', I feel my libido leaving my body like Creator/TildaSwinton has open palms slapped it out of me and it's entering the spirit world."''
57	-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheDomReviews Dominic Noble]]''', on ''Covid-19 Romance Stories''
58	[[/folder]]
59
60	[[folder:On Video Games]]
61	->''"With the stone-age graphics of the [Atari] 2600, there really was no point in trying to make erotic games.'' Custer's Revenge ''looks less like sex and more like a couple slow dancing at a social for birth defected sea horses."''
62	-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/nes/egm09.htm "The 20 Worst Video Games of All Time"]]
63
64	->''"This game really disturbs me. But I don't get it! Is this supposed to be erotic? I don't know about you, but I'm not AT ALL turned on by [[ItMakesSenseInContext some old wrinkly shitty witch titties]]. [[{{Squick}} That's fuckin' nasty, man]]! What sick fuck came up with this? What were they thinking?"''
65	-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''', on ''Philly Flasher'' in his ''Atari Porn'' review
66	[[/folder]]
67
68	[[folder:On Real Life]]
69	->''"[[NauseaFuel I feel really weird right now]]. [[SickAndWrong This is wrong]]. [[AllMenArePerverts Usually I'd be like]] '[[{{Squee}} YEAAAAH!]]' but I'm like '[[BrainBleach No, um, no]]...'"''
70	-->-- '''LetsPlay/ChipCheezum''''s ''WebVideo/{{Retsupurae}}'' video [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlC0eJ6m-1M "Yowie wowie!!!"]], wherein he [[GirlOnGirlIsHot watches two hot girls make out]] [[spoiler: [[{{Cosplay}} while dressed up]] [[YaoiFangirl as]] [[Manga/{{Naruto}} Naruto and Sasuke]]]]
71
72	->''"It's sort of like getting to second base for the first time only to discover your girlfriend has PEPPERONI NIPPLES and sure, let's keep going but I'm not going to be storing this in the [[PornStash SPANK BANK]]."''
73	-->-- '''WebVideo/RegularCarReviews''', [[https://youtu.be/FSgZGOCyYcY?t=250 on the 1991 BMW E30 318i]]
74	[[/folder]]
75

Context Quotes / FetishRetardant