Line #5 Quotes/DickDastardlyStopsToCheat


1	->''"Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat."''
2	-->-- '''Bobby Heenan'''
3
4	->''"It’s not enough for [[UsefulNotes/RichardNixon Nixon]] to win. He’s going to have to put some people in jail.”''
5	-->--'''UsefulNotes/LyndonJohnson''', 1969
6
7	->''I'll win this race fair and square, even if I have to cheat to do it!''
8	-->-- '''[[TropeNamer Dick Dastardly]]''', ''WesternAnimation/WackyRaces''
9
10	->''I must use strategy... I will cheat!''
11	--> -- '''Brutus''', from the 1961 Popeye cartoon "Ski Jump Chump"
12
13	->''So the Soviets were from the New England Patriots school of cheating, which says that even if you're vastly superior to your opponent, you cheat anyway. Just for the pure hell of it.''
14	-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}.com''', ''[[http://www.cracked.com/article_16073_the-7-ballsiest-sports-cheats-ever.html The 7 Ballsiest Sports Cheats Ever]]''
15
16	->''"After what seemed like an eternity of toying around with his opponent and not even attempting to win the match, [[Wrestling/JohnCena Cena]] was taken by surprise when [[Wrestling/JohnLaurinaitis Laurinaitis]] tried to bail out of the arena and the match instead of taking his never-ending abuse like a man. Fortunately, the recently fired [[Wrestling/TheBigShow Big Show]] was on the scene to throw Johnny right back in. Instead of helping John Cena grind Laurinaitis into dust, though, Show [[BodyguardBetrayal knocked out Cena with one punch]], allowing Johnny to pick up the win and keep his job. It was all [[WoundedGazelleGambit an ingenious plot]] by the wily GM, albeit one that could only work if Cena bullied him for seventeen minutes rather than just pinning him at the earliest opportunity.\
17	When you think about it, this whole match was a heavy-handed morality play as clear-cut as any of Aesop’s fables, except at least the hare never knocked the tortoise onto his shell and made it looked like he’d pissed himself."''
18	-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/induction-cena-vs-laurinaitis-ace-drops-a-deuce/ "Cena Vs. Laurinaitis - Ace Drops a Deuce"]]
19
20	->''"...there's a bloke with a goatee, shifty eyes and an army of robots who starts off ostensibly as an ally, but is so arse-wipingly [[ObviouslyEvil obviously the villain]] that the game absentmindedly forgets to establish that he is. After they complete their mission together, he just goes "Bored now!" and kidnaps someone for literally no reason and to nobody's surprise.\
21	Well, the reason he gives is that he wanted the heroes to come to his house and look at some stuff he's working on. Fucking ring them up! Or just ask them, they're right there! Offer them a lift on your getaway vehicle! It's like he only knows how to get things done in an evil way. All he wants is to work with the scientist to open an ancient ruin, something the scientist seems quite willing to do, but not after he's been helicoptered to a Dracula castle in a fucking cage! This guy needs an intervention!"''
22	-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''VideoGame/{{Knack}}''
23
24	->'''C. Montgomery Burns:''' Tell me, Simpson. If an opportunity arose for taking a small shortcut, you wouldn't be adverse to taking it, would you?
25	->'''Homer Simpson:''' Uhh, not as such.
26	->'''Burns:''' Neither would I. I've always felt that there's far too much hysteria these days about so-called cheating.
27	->'''Homer:''' Yes, a lot of -- hysteria.
28	->'''Burns:''' If you can take advantage of a situation in some way, it's your duty as an American to do it. Why should the race always be to the swift or the jumble to the quick-witted? Should they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them? Well, I say cheating is the gift man gives himself!
29	->'''Homer:''' Mr. Burns, I insist that we cheat.
30	->'''Burns:''' Excellent.
31	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Mountain of Madness"
32
33	->'''Megatron:''' Hmm, I suppose, given my imminent godhood, these primitives should really be beneath my attention. Ah, still, [[EvilIsPetty no score is too small to settle]], I always say.
34	->'''Dinobot II (suddenly overcome with Dinobot I's spirit):''' You would turn the full fury of this mighty warship on a lone anthropoid?! Tell me, Megatron, where's the honor in that?!
35	->'''Megatron:''' You dare use the h-word to me?!
36	->'''Dinobot II:''' I... I apologize. I merely felt [[{{foreshadowing}} our power should be conserved]] for... the larger battle.
37	->'''Megatron:''' Duly noted... and ignored!
38	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/BeastWars'', "Nemesis Part 2"
39
40	->'''Lythero ''[waiting by the finish line to hit someone with a spiked ball]:''''' [[PersonAsVerb I'm gonna pull a Dick Dastardly]]. A Dick Dastardly is when someone's clearly gonna win; like, Dick Dastardly was always gonna fucking win. All he had to do was go across the line!
41	->'''''[The racer in second place drives straight past him.]'''''
42	->'''Lythero:''' Aw fuck, he was invincible! I couldn't even hit him! ...And that's the Dick Dastardly.
43	-->-- ''[[https://youtu.be/mcE_3vSlP7A?t=512 SRB2Kartastrophe]]''
44
45	-> ''"It may seem counterintuitive, but you'd be surprised at how often it's some of the best players that inevitably try to fake runs. You might think that having the talent to achieve a world record would make someone less susceptible to cheating, but it often works against them; having talent tends to make people feel entitled. If anything, having a better understanding of a game makes you even more likely to cheat, which is why at the top level, proof standards are so important."''
46	-->-- '''Karl Jobst''', ''[[https://youtu.be/AFrQ1_2bbsI The Worst Fake Speedrun on Youtube]]''
47
48	->'''Vaarsuvius:''' No elaborate contract to sign in my blood? No minuscule print containing crucial exceptions? \
49	'''[[DemonLordsAndArchdevils IIFC]]: '''Passé. Contracts are for people who have something to hide. We simply don't need to trick you if we can get what we want by playing it straight.
50	--> ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', defying the trope when making [[DealWithTheDevil Faustian bargains.]]

Context Quotes / DickDastardlyStopsToCheat