| 1 | ---- |
| 2 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 3 | |
| 4 | [[folder:Anime and Manga]] |
| 5 | ->'''Arata:''' Look, they're selling merch. I like this guy. [[{{Notzilla}} Johnny]] from ''[[Franchise/ToyStory Boy Stories]]''. He's a villain, but he's hard to hate.\ |
| 6 | '''[[{{Kaiju}} Kuroe]]:''' I-I see...''[thinking] Man, talk about ugly...he looks just like me.'' |
| 7 | -->-- ''Manga/KaijuGirlCaramelise'' |
| 8 | [[/folder]] |
| 9 | |
| 10 | [[folder:Comic Books]] |
| 11 | ->''"If we're doing [[ComicBook/TheCloneSaga the clone thing]] again, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'm moving back to L.A.]]"'' |
| 12 | -->-- '''Mary Jane''', ''ComicBook/SpiderMan'' |
| 13 | |
| 14 | ->''You asked for the origins of: Charlie America! The inedible Bulk! The mighty Sore! And boy! Will you be sorry you asked!'' |
| 15 | -->-- ''Comicbook/NotBrandEchh'' |
| 16 | |
| 17 | ->'''Father''': What are those hideous fiends?\ |
| 18 | '''Goth Girl''': Well, the lizard is called Gosana, and the bat/reptile is called Kame-Komori. They're from a series of low-budget Japanese films from a small and seedy film company called Dorobo Studios. They were created as rubber suit monters to sponge off the popularity of much better film franchises at Toho and Daiei Studios. Many hard-core aficionados say they're the worst giant monster films ever made, despite some tasty special effects. Of course, the films have almost never been seen since the sixties--so only a total geek loser would even know who they are." |
| 19 | -->-- ''[[ComicBook/TheAtom The All-New Atom]]'' |
| 20 | |
| 21 | ->'''Secretary:''' You have Creator/GarthEnnis on line 2, sir.\ |
| 22 | '''[[Creator/StanLee The Legend:]]''' Tell him to go fuck himself. |
| 23 | -->-- ''ComicBook/TheBoys'' (written by Creator/GarthEnnis) |
| 24 | |
| 25 | ->''"'''Why?''' That's what they '''all''' asked me. Why him... why '''[[Main/TheStarscream Starscream?]]''' Why, of all the Decepticons, did I decide to revitalize the one whose record of deceit and betrayal is '''legend?''' Because I'm an '''idiot''', that's why!"'' |
| 26 | -->-- '''Megatron''', ''ComicBook/TransformersGeneration2'', "Total War!" |
| 27 | [[/folder]] |
| 28 | |
| 29 | [[folder:Fan Works]] |
| 30 | ->''I stood up. Well, tried to stand up. My leg had apparently fallen asleep because I'd been sitting on it and not moving for a while, and I had to catch myself hastily on the wall. Maybe I didn't deserve to be the one driving this body, considering how shitty I was at taking care of it.'' |
| 31 | -->-- '''Tom's narration''', ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' fanfic ''[[Fanfic/{{Eleutherophobia}} THX 1138]]'' |
| 32 | [[/folder]] |
| 33 | |
| 34 | [[folder:Film -- Animation]] |
| 35 | ->''"I don't know where [Jasmine] gets it from. Her mother wasn't nearly so picky."'' |
| 36 | -->-- '''Sultan of Agrabah''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}}'' |
| 37 | |
| 38 | ->'''[[WesternAnimation/{{Tangled}} Rapunzel]]:''' Do people assume all your problems got solved because a big strong man showed up?\ |
| 39 | '''Vanellope:''' Yeah! What's up with that? |
| 40 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/RalphBreaksTheInternet'' |
| 41 | |
| 42 | ->''"In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so."'' |
| 43 | -->-- '''Anton Ego''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Ratatouille}}'' |
| 44 | |
| 45 | ->''"[[Main/WhoNamesTheirKidDude Edward Norton? What kind of parent gives their kid of stupid cunt name like that?]]"'' |
| 46 | -->-- '''Sammy Bagel, Jr.''' (voiced by Creator/EdwardNorton), ''WesternAnimation/SausageParty'' |
| 47 | [[/folder]] |
| 48 | |
| 49 | [[folder:Film -- Live-Action]] |
| 50 | ->''"How about we NOT make a ''[[Film/YourHighness Your Highness 2]]''."'' |
| 51 | -->-- '''Creator/JamesFranco''', ''Film/ThisIsTheEnd'' |
| 52 | |
| 53 | ->''Every time you hear those two guys, it's "[[WhosOnFirst Who's on first]], What's on second..."'' |
| 54 | -->-- '''[[Creator/AbbottAndCostello Mervin Milgrim]]''', ''Film/WhoDoneIt'' |
| 55 | |
| 56 | ->''"This pizza boy is somebody I should have fired. Just a terrible actor. Oh wait. I guess it's me in [[CreatorCameo a cameo]]."'' |
| 57 | -->-- '''Rob Cohen''', DVD Commentary for ''Film/TheFastAndTheFurious2001'' |
| 58 | |
| 59 | ->''You think Creator/RyanReynolds got this far on his acting ability?'' |
| 60 | -->-- '''Deadpool''' (played by Ryan Reynolds), ''Film/Deadpool2016'' |
| 61 | |
| 62 | ->'''Fortune Teller:''' I see aliens. Little aliens from outer space. They forced your way inside your bodies. They need your talent to win a...''basketball game'' against...WesternAnimation/BugsBunny.\ |
| 63 | '''Patrick Ewing:''' ''[under his breath]'' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Bugs Bunny...?]]\ |
| 64 | '''Fortune Teller:''' I also see UsefulNotes/MichaelJordan...being sucked down a golf hole...by furry creatures.\ |
| 65 | '''Patrick:''' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere That's it. We're outta here.]]\ |
| 66 | '''Larry Johnson:''' We're leaving now.\ |
| 67 | '''Shawn Bradley:''' Let's buy some accupuncture.\ |
| 68 | '''Muggsy Bogues:''' Good idea. Bye. |
| 69 | -->-- ''Film/SpaceJam'' |
| 70 | [[/folder]] |
| 71 | |
| 72 | [[folder:Live-Action TV]] |
| 73 | ->''"Oh, you know that Saturday Night Live show? It got way worse. Oh, yeah. It's just sad. They got that fat guy screaming all the time. Come on! Pull the plug on that freaking thing, huh?"'' |
| 74 | -->-- '''Creator/ChrisFarley''', ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' |
| 75 | |
| 76 | ->''"Don't applaud that! Applaud my idiocy."'' |
| 77 | -->-- '''Creator/ConanOBrien''' |
| 78 | |
| 79 | ->'''Pres. Bartlet:''' What plaid flannel-wearing, cheese-eating yahoo of a milkman governor signed that idiot bill into state law?\ |
| 80 | ''[Charlie Young looks uncomfortable]''\ |
| 81 | '''Pres. Bartlet:''' It was me, wasn't it?\ |
| 82 | '''Charlie Young:''' Yes, sir. |
| 83 | -->-- ''Series/TheWestWing'', "Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail" |
| 84 | |
| 85 | ->''"I saw the fall of Troy, [[WorldWarWhatever World War V]], I pushed boxes at the [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanRevolution Boston Tea Party]]. Now I'm gonna die in a dungeon..." [{{beat}}, then sourly] "...in ''Cardiff''."'' |
| 86 | -->-- '''The Doctor''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', a series produced in Cardiff, "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E3TheUnquietDead The Unquiet Dead]]" |
| 87 | |
| 88 | ->'''War Doctor:''' ...really?\ |
| 89 | '''Eleventh Doctor:''' Yeah.\ |
| 90 | '''Tenth Doctor:''' Really.\ |
| 91 | '''War Doctor:''' You're me? Both of you?\ |
| 92 | '''Tenth Doctor:''' Yep.\ |
| 93 | '''War Doctor:''' ''[indicating Eleven]'' Even that one?\ |
| 94 | '''Eleventh Doctor:''' ''[offended]'' Yes!\ |
| 95 | '''War Doctor:''' You're my future selves?\ |
| 96 | '''Ten and Eleven:''' ''YES!''\ |
| 97 | '''War Doctor:''' Am I having a ''mid-life crisis?!'' |
| 98 | -->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "[[Recap/DoctorWho50thASTheDayOfTheDoctor The Day of the Doctor]]" |
| 99 | |
| 100 | ->''"I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away."'' |
| 101 | -->-- '''Xander''', ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' |
| 102 | |
| 103 | ->''"Is it possible to do anything with crap? Obviously yes, since we're in our fifteenth season."'' |
| 104 | -->-- '''Red Green''', ''Series/TheRedGreenShow'' |
| 105 | |
| 106 | ->''"And in July, I made headlines, which was great news, if there's NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity. Tell you what, that's when you know you're in trouble, when the prime minister of the country that you live in breaks off from the G-20 summit in Mexico. He's in a meeting with Barack Obama, the most important man in the world, and he says "excuse me Barack, I've got something very important I need to deal with right now. Jimmy Carr is a ''dick''."'' |
| 107 | -->-- '''Creator/JimmyCarr''', ''Series/BigFatQuizOfTheYear 2012'' |
| 108 | |
| 109 | ->'''Luke Skywalker:''' Listen, pal, we're on a mission. There's no way we're gonna be involved in some third-rate variety show!\ |
| 110 | '''Kermit:''' ''[deeply wounded]'' ''Second''-rate variety show! |
| 111 | -->-- ''Series/TheMuppetShow'' |
| 112 | |
| 113 | ->''"I know what you're thinking: Spending good money on a poorly-made wax figure of a former President sounds pretty stupid, right? Yeah, you're right, you're absolutely right, and that is why I am proud to say that we didn't go down there and buy one of them. [{{beat}}] We bought five of them. Why five? Because we are five times stupider than any other TV show, that's fucking why!"'' |
| 114 | -->-- '''Creator/JohnOliver''', ''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'' |
| 115 | |
| 116 | ->''"I can tell you with full confidence that "his heart stopped" is how both I and Music/KidRock will die. That doesn't mean that our cardiac arrest will be caused by the same thing, though, does it? One of our deaths will likely involve a lot of meth, a monster truck, and a variety of illegal fireworks, and the other death... will be Kid Rock's."'' |
| 117 | -->--- '''Creator/JohnOliver''', ''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'' |
| 118 | |
| 119 | ->'''Sharon''': "Domestic Cleanin'"? Can't you think of a better name than that?\ |
| 120 | '''Tracey''': Well... I was thinking about "''Birds of a Feather''".\ |
| 121 | '''Sharon''': Tha's crap! |
| 122 | -->-- ''Series/BirdsOfAFeather'', "[[Recap/BirdsOfAFeatherS8E2TheEssexPatient The Essex Patient]]" |
| 123 | |
| 124 | ->''"Any mean thing someone is going to think of to say about me, I've already said to me, about me, probably in the last half hour."'' |
| 125 | -->--- '''Hannah Horvath''', ''Series/{{Girls}}'' |
| 126 | [[/folder]] |
| 127 | |
| 128 | [[folder:Music]] |
| 129 | ->''Sorry. I apologize to any of the parents of the kids who bought this album, and to the kids and their pets, for having to listen to this. Especially this song. It's terrible.'' |
| 130 | -->-- '''Music/FiveIronFrenzy''', "Kingdom of the Dinosaurs", ''Quantity is Job 1'' |
| 131 | |
| 132 | ->''We don't know about reverb,\ |
| 133 | We may not be good looking.\ |
| 134 | This is the only song we know,\ |
| 135 | These are the chords for us.'' |
| 136 | -->-- '''Music/{{Korpiklaani}}''', "Bring Us Pints of Beer" |
| 137 | |
| 138 | ->''I told you I was trouble\ |
| 139 | You Know I'm No Good. |
| 140 | -->-- "You Know I'm No Good", '''Music/AmyWinehouse''' |
| 141 | |
| 142 | ->''T-I-S-M-A-R-E\ |
| 143 | TISM are shit, TISM are shit\ |
| 144 | T-I-S-M-A-R-E\ |
| 145 | TISM are shit, I am shit.'' |
| 146 | -->-- '''{{Music/TISM}}''', "TISM Are Shit" |
| 147 | |
| 148 | ->''"You know, when you insult yourself like that, it's kind of hard to tell if you're meaning it as a compliment."'' |
| 149 | -->-- '''Banjo''', [[Music/ManOnTheInternet Gruntilda Battle with Lyrics]] |
| 150 | |
| 151 | ->''"The worst rapper on this track, third coolest."'' |
| 152 | -->-- '''[[Music/DasRacist Heems]]''', "The Last Huzzah (Remix)" |
| 153 | [[/folder]] |
| 154 | |
| 155 | [[folder:Radio]] |
| 156 | ->''This strikes me as quite an old technique of unnecessary self-deprecation, saying "Ooh, me, I can hardly tell a story, ooh, I'm so useless". And you're meant to think "Actually, you're very, very good at this."'' |
| 157 | -->--'''Ian Hislop''', ''Ian Hislop's Oldest Jokes'' (about Creator/GeoffreyChaucer's ''The Tale of Sir Thopas'') |
| 158 | [[/folder]] |
| 159 | |
| 160 | [[folder:Stand-Up Comedy]] |
| 161 | ->''"As you process and digest how obnoxious, wasteful, and unlikeable that story is, just remember: that's one I'm willing to tell you."'' |
| 162 | -->-- '''Creator/JohnMulaney''', ''Baby J'' |
| 163 | [[/folder]] |
| 164 | |
| 165 | [[folder:Theatre]] |
| 166 | ->''Am I the strongest? No, I'm not\ |
| 167 | Am I the smartest? No, I'm not\ |
| 168 | Am I the hottest? No, I'm not\ |
| 169 | But am I the greatest? No, I'm not!\ |
| 170 | Am I the hero? No, I'm not\ |
| 171 | Am I the one who steals the show? No, I'm not\ |
| 172 | Am I the one that you should know? No, I'm not\ |
| 173 | But am I the one who takes you home? Definitely not!\ |
| 174 | Am I the chosen one? No, I'm not\ |
| 175 | Am I the prodigal son? No, I'm not\ |
| 176 | Am I almost done? No, I'm not'' |
| 177 | -->-- '''Ron Weasley''', ''Theatre/AVeryPotterSeniorYear'' |
| 178 | |
| 179 | ->''"This particularly rapid unintelligible patter\ |
| 180 | Isn't generally heard, and if it is it doesn't matter!"'' |
| 181 | -->-- '''Creator/GilbertAndSullivan''', "My Eyes Are Fully Open," ''Theatre/{{Ruddigore}}'', making fun of their trademark PatterSong |
| 182 | [[/folder]] |
| 183 | |
| 184 | [[folder:Video Games]] |
| 185 | ->'''Callie:''' The people who work here must be super smart!\ |
| 186 | '''Marie:''' Pshh! They make games all day. How hard can it be? |
| 187 | -->-- Ancho-V Games discussion, ''VideoGame/Splatoon1'' |
| 188 | |
| 189 | ->''Hey, look, a song about us!'' |
| 190 | -->-- Video description for a playthrough of ''Even the Losers'' in ''VideoGame/RockBand''. |
| 191 | |
| 192 | ->''"You want to battle some more? Well, this may be your lucky day. I found a bunch of idiots who were willing to waste their time by composing a couple of new songs for me last month."'' |
| 193 | -->-- '''Selever''', ''VideoGame/FridayNightFunkin VideoGame/VsSelever'' |
| 194 | |
| 195 | ->'''Arthas:''' Father still hopes your patience and experience might rub off on me.\ |
| 196 | '''Uther:''' It is a father's right to dream, isn't it? |
| 197 | -->-- ''VideoGame/WarcraftIII'' |
| 198 | |
| 199 | ->''"You're going to travel to Cheydinhal, and find out what sort of imposter is trying to besmirch my good name. And you're going to tell him..." [=[=][[AlcoholHic hic]]] "You're going to tell him I am quite capable of besmirching my good name on my own. He should cease and desist immediately."'' |
| 200 | -->-- '''Reynald Jemane''', ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion'' |
| 201 | [[/folder]] |
| 202 | |
| 203 | [[folder:Web Animation]] |
| 204 | ->''"LA LA LA LOOK AT ME I'M A VIRGIN AND I LOVE MEEEEMEESSS."'' |
| 205 | -->-- '''Mario''' doing an impression of '''[[AuthorAvatar SMG4]]''', ''[[WebAnimation/Supermarioglitchy4sSuperMario64Bloopers SMG4’s Mario Bloopers]]'' |
| 206 | [[/folder]] |
| 207 | |
| 208 | [[folder:Webcomics]] |
| 209 | ->'''Peejee:''' Every day it's more obvious to me how Davan takes after you.\ |
| 210 | '''Fred:''' Now just a second. I can insult him 'cuz he's my son! |
| 211 | -->-- ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive'', [[http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp10192009.shtml "A Few Changes"]] |
| 212 | |
| 213 | ->'''Roy:''' Well, since ''[[ScrewedByTheLawyers somebody]]'' [[ScrewedByTheLawyers took away our monster]], we find ourselves with [[FillerStrips no plot for today's strip]].\ |
| 214 | '''Belkar:''' How is that different from all of the other strips? |
| 215 | -->-- ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' [[https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0033.html #33: Mail Call]] |
| 216 | [[/folder]] |
| 217 | |
| 218 | [[folder:Web Original]] |
| 219 | ->'''Why Do People Write "Considered Harmful" Essays?'''\ |
| 220 | There are those cases where such essays are written because the author enjoys grandstanding, and knows that use of the "considered harmful" format will get them noticed. A piece of this type is usually so over the top that it is easy to spot. For example, a piece titled "'Considered Harmful' Essays Considered Harmful" would very likely be a case of using the "considered harmful" format to draw attention for its own sake. We will ignore such essays in this commentary. |
| 221 | -->-- '''Eric A. Meyer''', in the essay ''[[http://meyerweb.com/eric/comment/chech.html "Considered Harmful" Essays Considered Harmful]]'' |
| 222 | |
| 223 | ->''It's worth noting that through the comedic first half, as [[Creator/DavidTennant Tennant]] goes around making all of the obvious jokes at [[Creator/PeterDavison Davison]]'s expense ("decorative vegetable"), Davison takes only one real shot at Tennant, but it's an absolutely scathing one - pointing out that Tennant’s patter really just amounts to [[YouTalkTooMuch describing everything in front of him.]] Obviously the story isn’t anti-Tennant by any measure, but it’s telling, I think, that it does give an actual critique of Tennant’s portrayal.'' |
| 224 | -->-- '''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/time-can-be-rewritten-20-time-crash/ El Sandifer]]''' on "[[Recap/DoctorWho2007CiNSTimeCrash Time Crash]]" |
| 225 | |
| 226 | ->''[[ComicBook/{{Shazam}} Captain Marvel]] is to Franchise/{{Superman}} what [[WesternAnimation/ChallengeOfTheGoBots GoBots]] are to Franchise/{{Transformers}}, what Franchise/PowerRangers are to Anime/{{Voltron}}, or what Magazine/{{Cracked}} magazine is to Magazine/{{MAD}} magazine.'' |
| 227 | -->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15679_5-upcoming-comic-book-movies-that-must-be-stopped_p2.html "5 upcoming comic book movies that must be stopped, p. 2]] |
| 228 | |
| 229 | ->''It is the job of the fool to point out that [[Literature/TheEmperorsNewClothes the Emperor has no clothes]]; to confront the things that the rest of us are happy to ignore. And the truly great Emperor will humour the jester. It's the insecure despots who send them to the dungeons to have their jingly hats [[ShootTheMessenger shoved so far down their throats that they poo out silver bells]].'' |
| 230 | -->-- '''Creator/{{Yahtzee}}''', "[[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/10515-Of-Metaphors-and-Mario-RPGs.2 Of Metaphors and Mario RPGs]]" |
| 231 | [[/folder]] |
| 232 | |
| 233 | [[folder:Web Video]] |
| 234 | ->''"Screw these [[WebVideo/NostalgiaCritic "critics of nostalgia"]] and [[Website/ChannelAwesome everyone associated with them]]!"'' |
| 235 | -->-- '''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''', ''[[Music/LadyGaga Applause]]'' |
| 236 | |
| 237 | ->'''Diabeetus''': You know what would be sadder than reviewing this game? [[GameMod ...if someone went and hacked the damn thing.]]\ |
| 238 | '''Slowbeef''': I'll sa-- fuck you. |
| 239 | -->-- ''WebVideo/{{Retsupurae}}'', [[http://blip.tv/therparchive/policenauts-retsupurae-6286681 in their RP of Policenauts]] (Slowbeef worked on the translation patch for it.) |
| 240 | |
| 241 | ->'''Creator/{{Egoraptor}}''': UUUH THIS GAME IS STOOOPID.\ |
| 242 | '''WebVideo/JonTron''': Well aren't you running the self deprecation train right now. |
| 243 | -->-- ''WebVideo/GameGrumps'' |
| 244 | |
| 245 | ->"Seriously, Moltres, I am here recording this on a Saturday night. [Moltres breaks out of the Poké Ball again] So close. I'm here recording this on a Saturday night. You think that I'm just going to give up and I'm just going to go somewhere else and I'm going to give up on catching you? You think I have better things to do than sitting here trying to cram a six-foot tall bird into something the size of a baseball? No, I don't have anything better to do. You think I have friends to go see? You think I have places to go hang out? You think I have dates to go on? You think I have sex to have? Well, apparently you don't know teenage boys on the internet very well. [{{beat}}] God, that was a sick burn on myself. Jeez. That was actually pretty relentless. God, I can't believe I said that." |
| 246 | ->..."That was the epitome of no life right there." |
| 247 | -->-- '''LetsPlay/{{Chuggaaconroy}}''' evaluates his life (or lack thereof) [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXUyQVf_Yh4#t=256 while trying to capture Moltres]] in ''[[VideoGame/PokemonRedAndBlue Pokémon [=FireRed=]]]'' |
| 248 | |
| 249 | ->'''Luigi:''' Hey Mario, what is this garbage?\ |
| 250 | '''Mario:''' It's fucking SHIT, Luigi! It's a meme game that someone made, combining all the memes into one game! It's garbage, Luigi! Don't play it!\ |
| 251 | '''Luigi:''' Hey Mario, I know someone that's gonna play it. All you gotta do is send it to him!\ |
| 252 | '''Mario:''' ''[sigh]'' What's his name, Luigi?\ |
| 253 | '''Luigi:''' His name is ''WebVideo/{{Vinesauce}}''. He's a real jerk-off, Mario! He thinks this shit is funny! |
| 254 | -->-- ''WebVideo/{{Vinesauce}}'' [[https://youtu.be/JAZIAw1Jm4c?t=5m24s stream]] of ''Supre Smesh Bras'', with Vinny [[ManOfAThousandVoices doing a spot-on impression of Mario and Luigi]], |
| 255 | |
| 256 | ->''"I'm failed psychologist and Internet cunt, Dr. Ashen."'' |
| 257 | -->-- '''WebVideo/StuartAshen''' |
| 258 | |
| 259 | ->'''Episode 1''': Oh, you know... ''[=[=][[YourVampiresSuck shoots Edward 37 times]]]'' ...a real fucking vampire.\ |
| 260 | '''Episode 10''': Getting angry at [[Literature/TheTwilightSaga a book made for horny teenage girls]] was ridiculous then... ''and it's ridiculous now.'' |
| 261 | -->-- '''Alucard''', ''WebVideo/HellsingUltimateAbridged'' |
| 262 | |
| 263 | ->''Welcome to the most autistic, bed-ridden show on the Internet.'' |
| 264 | -->-- '''WebVideo/FilthyFrank''' |
| 265 | |
| 266 | ->'''[[Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog Vector]]:''' Detective work doesn’t pay enough!\ |
| 267 | '''Espio:''' Nothing does in this economy.\ |
| 268 | '''Vector:''' How are we supposed to make rent?\ |
| 269 | '''Espio:''' We should find more stable employment. Something that pays consistently, and that the world needs more of.\ |
| 270 | '''Charmy:''' We should be YouTubers!\ |
| 271 | '''Espio:''' Or that. |
| 272 | -->-- ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yQhgkNjI2o "Team Chaotix Becomes YouTubers"]]'' by '''[[https://www.youtube.com/c/SmashJet Jehtt]]''' |
| 273 | |
| 274 | ->'''Michael's father''': A good magician never reveals his secrets.\ |
| 275 | '''Critic''': Like how these films cost millions, yet they look like... a Nostalgia Critic review. |
| 276 | -->-- ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'' on ''{{Film/Click}}'' |
| 277 | |
| 278 | ->'''Ryuji:''' Hey sleep bot! Tell me a joke!\ |
| 279 | '''[[FunWithAcronyms P.T.S.D.]]:''' Jamezietocool makes funny and original content.\ |
| 280 | ''[Laughtrack plays]'' |
| 281 | -->-- ''WebVideo/PersonaMemeverse''[[note]]Created by [=YouTuber=] Jamezietocool[[/note]], "[[https://youtu.be/7_68Vfhyyrc Persona Telepathic Sleep Device!]]" |
| 282 | |
| 283 | ->'''Tom:''' I was surfing the net last night and I saw some things. Some things came up that made me feel really lousy.\ |
| 284 | '''Kathy:''' Y'know, that happened to me once, too. I was really uncomfortable with what I saw.\ |
| 285 | '''Diamondbolt:''' Oh cool, they found my channel! |
| 286 | -->-- [[https://youtu.be/AojFjLndWTE "Hilarious Online Safety Videos"]] |
| 287 | [[/folder]] |
| 288 | |
| 289 | [[folder:Western Animation]] |
| 290 | ->''"So now Andy's a TV writer. Loser."'' |
| 291 | -->-- '''Lisa''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS21E6PranksAndGreens Pranks and Greens]]" |
| 292 | |
| 293 | ->'''Bart''': Once you have enough episodes of any classic show, why do you need to keep making more?\ |
| 294 | '''Lisa''': Well, the reason is...\ |
| 295 | '''Bart''': Shh. Watching classic Krusty. |
| 296 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS34E4TheKingOfNice The King of Nice]]" |
| 297 | |
| 298 | ->''"Everybody knows comedy is the lowest form of entertainment, [[AnimationAgeGhetto next to animation]]."'' |
| 299 | -->-- '''Trixie Tang''', ''WesternAnimation/TheFairlyOddparents'', "Movie Magic" |
| 300 | |
| 301 | ->''"This is about being able to hold bad filmmakers responsible! This is just like when we got our money back for Film/{{BASEketball}}!"'' |
| 302 | -->-- '''Stan Marsh''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', "The Passion of the Jew" |
| 303 | |
| 304 | ->'''Roger''': Wuhl, I'm a big fan!\ |
| 305 | '''Robert Wuhl''': Oh, why, thank you. It's always nice to -- wait a minute. Big fan? That doesn't sound right. |
| 306 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'', Season 11, "Manhattan Magical Murder Mystery Tour" |
| 307 | |
| 308 | ->'''Cleveland:''' Alright, I knew this was coming. Everybody give me your best shot.\ |
| 309 | '''Quagmire:''' Oh my God, where do I even begin?! You know, it's not a good sign that this is the first time a lot of people are realizing you ''had'' [[WesternAnimation/TheClevelandShow a show]]!\ |
| 310 | '''Joe:''' Your logo is stupid; it looked like a big purple penis, and your ratings blew.\ |
| 311 | '''Cleveland:''' We did about the same as ''WesternAnimation/BobsBurgers''.\ |
| 312 | '''Quagmire:''' ''That's'' your bar?! Oh, shame on you!\ |
| 313 | '''Cleveland:''' This is good, this is constructive.\ |
| 314 | '''Quagmire:''' The talking bear was so bad, Creator/SethMacFarlane quit voicing him after season two.\ |
| 315 | '''Cleveland:''' It's hard to make a talking bear funny.\ |
| 316 | '''Quagmire:''' I don't...It-It-It worked out okay [[Film/{{Ted}} in movie form]].\ |
| 317 | '''Joe:''' What was supposed to be the show's audience? Who did you make it for? Like, some black guy who's never met another black guy?\ |
| 318 | '''Cleveland:''' Anything else?\ |
| 319 | '''Peter:''' Yeah, here's four seasons worth of [=DVDs=] of what we've been up to. You know, just so you're back up to speed. And I'll warn you ahead of time, ''these'' have jokes in 'em.\ |
| 320 | '''Cleveland:''' ''[beat]'' I...I don't have a DVD player. |
| 321 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'', "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS12E20HesBlaack He's Blaack]]" |
| 322 | |
| 323 | ->'''Daria:''' But Ms. Dickie! Beavis and Butt-head are complete imbeciles.\ |
| 324 | '''Beavis:''' Yeah, she's right. |
| 325 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead'', "Scientific Stuff" |
| 326 | |
| 327 | ->''"We all gotta laugh at ourselves every once in a while. Why, I do it all the time!" [Pulls out a mirror and laughs at his reflection]'' |
| 328 | -->-- '''[=SpongeBob=]''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "Squirrel Jokes" |
| 329 | |
| 330 | ->'''Mama Bass''': ''[talking into camera on Bubble Bass's show]'' Listen up, home viewers. My son needs help. He's pathetic. He needs a job. Maybe one of youse knows someone who's hiring. Full disclosure, he is not good at ''anything''. Maybe he can work in animation.\ |
| 331 | '''Bubble Bass''': Ma! Only ''losers'' work in animation! |
| 332 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/ThePatrickStarShow'', "[[Recap/ThePatrickStarShowS1E26BubbleBassReviewsPatricksPrisonPals Bubble Bass Reviews]]" |
| 333 | |
| 334 | ->'''Fanboy:''' It's pizza day! Come play "pizza monkeys" with us!\ |
| 335 | '''Kyle:''' [[AudienceSurrogate You two are... pizza monkeys?]]\ |
| 336 | '''Fanboy and Chum Chum:''' Mmm-hmm! ''(make monkey noises)''\ |
| 337 | '''Kyle:''' What do you do? Throw your...[[ToiletHumor poop-eroni?]]\ |
| 338 | ''({{Rimshot}})''\ |
| 339 | '''Fanboy and Chum Chum:''' ''(hysterical laughter)'' Poop-eroni...!\ |
| 340 | '''Kyle:''' ''(sighs)'' I'm witty day after day, and this is what they laugh at. |
| 341 | -->--''WesternAnimation/FanboyAndChumChum'', "Little Glop of Horrors" |
| 342 | |
| 343 | ->'''Yakko:''' Hello. Reboots are symptomatic of a fundamental lack of creativity in Hollywood.\ |
| 344 | '''Dot''': Have you no shame!? (camera zooms out to show her and her siblings wearing Hulu-branded clothing)\ |
| 345 | '''Hulu Producer''': Here's your check for the ''Animaniacs'' reboot, you sellouts! (Yakko grabs it with a big smile) |
| 346 | -->-- ''WesternAnimation/Animaniacs2020'', trailer. |
| 347 | [[/folder]] |
| 348 | |
| 349 | [[folder:Real Life]] |
| 350 | ->''"We must never stop reminding the reader what little value they get for their money!"'' |
| 351 | -->-- '''William Gaines''', on the philosophy of ''Magazine/{{MAD}}'' |
| 352 | |
| 353 | ->''"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"'' |
| 354 | -->-- '''Charles Schulz''' |
| 355 | |
| 356 | ->''"Story of my life! I get no respect!"'' |
| 357 | -->-- '''Creator/RodneyDangerfield''' |
| 358 | |
| 359 | ->"There is no [[GreedyJew Jewish conspiracy to control the banks]]. You know why? Because ''[[JewsLoveToArgue we can't agree on a place to go for dinner]]''! We couldn't even get the meeting started! ''(in an authoritative voice)'' 'All right, the Jewish meeting to control the banks will now commence.' ''(in a grouchy voice)'' 'Hey, who died and made ''you'' king? Never mind me. I'm no one here. I have no opinions." |
| 360 | -->-- '''Creator/JonStewart''' |
| 361 | |
| 362 | ->''"I enjoy the comedy device of self-deprecation ... but I'm not very good at it."'' |
| 363 | -->-- '''Arnold Brown''' |
| 364 | |
| 365 | ->''"''{{ComicStrip/Zits}}'' is the worst name for a comic strip since ''{{ComicStrip/Peanuts}}''."'' |
| 366 | -->-- '''Charles Schulz''' |
| 367 | |
| 368 | ->''"We lose every week, we lose every week! You're nothing special, we lose every week!"'' |
| 369 | -->-- '''English football fan chant''' sang to the tune of [[Music/TheBeachBoys "Sloop John B"]] |
| 370 | |
| 371 | ->''"If Trump weight [sic] 215lbs, then I have flowing blond locks past my shoulders."'' |
| 372 | -->-- '''Rick Wilson''' |
| 373 | [[/folder]] |
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