Line #0 Quotes/DirtyOldMan


1	!!Anime & Manga
2	->'''Old Kai:''' All of my enemies feared me! But not because of my strength! My menacing capacities are what struck terror into their hearts!\
3	'''Goku:''' Capacity?\
4	'''Gohan:''' Menacing?\
5	'''Goku:''' What do you mean?\
6	'''Old Kai:''' [[ImmortalImmaturity I'm not telling. Nope! Give me one good reason why I should.]] ''[[[BlowingARaspberry blows raspberry]]]''\
7	'''Goku:''' Well, hmmm... Let me see here... I got it! My old master likes girly magazines. We'll get you some!\
8	'''Gohan:''' ''[mortified]'' Oh, boy! Uh, Dad...!\
9	'''Shin:''' Goku, please! How inappropriate!\
10	'''Old Kai:''' Hmph! I have no need for such things. With my amazing vision, I can see girls playing volleyball on the beach!\
11	''[Shin and Kibito {{face fault}} in response to this]''\
12	'''Shin:''' [[WhatTheHellHero You call yourself a Kai!]]\
13	'''Goku:''' Hey, old man! How about we get you a date with a real live Earth woman?\
14	'''Old Kai:''' Is she a good kisser?\
15	'''Goku:''' Yeah! Of course!
16	-->-- ''Anime/DragonBallZ''
17
18
19	!!FanWorks
20	->"There's ''always'' time for pretty girls!" [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Iroh]] shook his head at [[{{Film/TheLastAirbender}} Z-]][[{{Creator/DevPatel}} Patel]], smiling to himself. "Just like there's always time for tea, and Pai Sho, and naps."
21	-->--''[[FanFic/BringMeAllYourElderly Bring Me All Your Elderly!]]''
22
23	!!{{Film}} -- Animated
24	-> '''Beavis:''' Look at this guy - he's old, but he's probably scored a million times!
25	-> '''Old Guy:''' (proudly) Oh yea!
26	-->--''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtheadDoAmerica''
27
28	->'''Frollo:''' You think you've outwitted me. But I'm a patient man. And gypsies don't do well inside stone walls.\
29	''[Frollo, while grabbing Esmeralda from behind, takes a moment to sniff her hair.]''\
30	'''Esmeralda:''' What are you doing?\
31	'''Frollo:''' I was just imagining a rope around that ''beautiful'' neck. ''[He gropes her neck.]''\
32	'''Esmeralda:''' ''I'' know what you were ''imagining!''\
33	''[She shoves him away.]''
34	-->--''[[WesternAnimation/TheHunchbackOfNotreDameDisney The Hunchback of Notre Dame]]''
35
36	!!{{Film}} -- Live-Action
37	->''Thank heaven for little girls\
38	For little girls get bigger every day!\
39	Thank heaven for little girls\
40	They grow up in the most delightful way!''
41	-->--''{{Film/Gigi}}'', "Thank Heaven For Little Girls"
42
43	->''"Chaperone?! You and a bunch of beauty queens? It's like asking Literature/{{Dracula}} to be in charge of a blood bank!"''
44	-->-- '''Connie Philpotts''', ''Film/CarryOnGirls''
45
46	->''"Cos I'm driving you now, you know, in a Daimler Pervertible. Aha-ha-ha. The 'ood doesn't go down, but the chauffeur does."''
47	-->-- '''Leyland''', ''Film/CarryOnEmmannuelle''
48
49	->''"[[TropeName Dirty old man!]] I just got pinched in the elevator!"''
50	-->-- '''"Daphne"''', ''Film/SomeLikeItHot''
51
52	!!{{Literature}}
53	->''"He stared at her -- it was almost a leer -- as if nothing that she could offer him would be as toothsome a morsel as herself. Shadow felt deeply uncomfortable: it was like watiching an old wolf stalking a fawn too young to know that if it did not run, and run now, it would wind up in a distant glade with its bones picked clean by the ravens."''
54	-->--''Literature/AmericanGods''
55
56	!!LiveActionTV
57	->''"You see that? Fifteen, she is. A little flower. And the honey's all mine."''
58	-->-- '''Walder Frey''' regarding his wife, Joyeuse Erenford, ''Series/GameOfThrones'', "[[Recap/GameOfThronesS1E9Baelor Baelor]]"
59
60	->'''Fred''': Now, she's got T.B.\
61	'''Lamont''': What?!\
62	'''Fred''': [[FunWithAcronyms Terrific Body.]]\
63	'''Lamont''': You're a dirty old man, you know that?\
64	'''Fred''': And I'm gonna be one till I'm a ''dead'' old man.
65	-->--''Series/SanfordAndSon'', "A Matter of Life and Breath"
66
67	!!{{Music}}
68	->''Sitting on a park bench\
69	Eyeing little girls with bad intent''
70	-->Music/JethroTull, "Music/AqualungJethroTullAlbum"
71
72	!!{{Theatre}}
73	->''Brother, you can't go to jail\
74	For what you're thinkin'\
75	Or for the 'ooooh, so' look in your eye\
76	You're only standing on the corner\
77	Watching all the girls\
78	Watching all the girls\
79	Watching all the girls\
80	Go by''
81	-->--''Theatre/TheMostHappyFella'', "Standing on the Corner"
82
83	!!{{Video Game}}s
84	->'''Sage Yulyana:''' Ho ho ho! Little Agnès, is it? Oh, you have grown, child! You were scarce more than a little sprout when your predecessor brought you here. Now look at you! A fine woman you've become. Fine and plump and, ho ho, pleasantly jiggly. Ho ho ho! ...Ahem.\
85	'''Edea:''' Ugh, lovely. It's a geriatric [[HandsomeLech Ringabel]].
86	-->-- ''VideoGame/BravelyDefault''
87
88	->''"Heheh! This gym is great! It's full of women!"''
89	-->-- Unnamed old man, VideoGame/PokemonRedAndBlue ("Regis" in Gold and Silver)
90
91	!!{{Visual Novel}}s
92	->'''Phoenix Wright:''' You had [your driver's license] at the time of the accident! Director Hotti... or the guy pretending to be him anyway, said so!\
93	'''Ini Miney:''' What, are you talking about that perverted fake clinic director?\
94	'''Phoenix:''' Yes, that perverted fake clinic director. And how did you know he was perverted--''(gets whipped)'' Eowch!\
95	'''Franziska von Karma:''' No one cares.
96	-->-- ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyJusticeForAll'', "Reunion, and Turnabout"
97
98	!!WebOriginal
99	->''Gene looked about ready to burst out laughing during his rendition of the national anthem; maybe he was thinking of showing his “[[ICallHimMisterHappy rocket’s red glare]]” to Wrestling/WendiRichter. Or Wrestling/LeilaniKai. Or [[Wrestling/TheFabulousMoolah Fabulous Moolah]], for that matter. Anyone who’s seen ''Legends’ House'' knows that Mean Gene isn’t picky.''
100	-->--'''''Website/{{WrestleCrap}}''''', on Wrestling/MeanGeneOkerlund, [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/america-the-beautiful/ "From Sea to Shining Crap"]]
101
102	->''Wrestling/RicFlair is backstage looking like some freeze-dried beef jerky and telling [[Wrestling/ChristyHemme Christy [Hemme]]] all about how every woman wants to be with him and Wrestling/JayLethal had better watch out. For the flying semen, conceivably. At some point during his rant, Christy has to visibly retrain herself from bursting out laughing, possibly from the absurdity of an old man in Music/EltonJohn’s world talking about how he’s going to rock your world all night long, but more probably because part of Flair’s grandiose and amazing idea of a threat here is to threaten to beat Lethal so bad that he’ll go back to his mother and beg to breast feed with her.''
103	-->--'''''[[http://cewshreviews.blogspot.com/2010/07/tna-victory-road-2010.html Cewsh Reviews]]''''' on {{Wrestling/TNA}} ''Victory Road 2010''
104
105	->''If it was up to Ben Stein, he’d be the host of ''Win Ben Stein’s Peeny'', because he is a proud horny motherfucker who is like a teenager on Viagra and still gets ''“mad crushes”'' on beautiful ''ladies.
106	-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/07/22/the-time-ben-stein-begged-a-pregnant-ex-call-girl-and-performance-artist-for-naked-pictures/ Michael K.]]'''
107
108	->''The standard-bearer for all worldwide sleaziness. Racist? Yes. Cheap? Oh yes. Horny Neanderthal? Oh God, yes, yes! A landlord? Check—and by the way, if you don’t have a check for him and you are a Latino, he will evict you three days early. He’s like a Voltron of shitbags fused together. This is a man who once negotiated buying a fur coat for a mistress ''in front of the mistress’s mom.'' There is no introspection with Donald Sterling. There is no remorse. There is no shred of decency tucked inside of him that will engender some measure of sympathy. There is only this, taken from his deposition: "If you are having sex with a woman you are paying for, you always call her honey because you can’t remember her name." Pure class, kids.''
109	-->--'''[[https://www.gq.com/story/25-biggest-sleazebags-in-sports Drew Magary]]''', "The 25 Biggest Sleazebags in Sports!"
110
111	->''Terrible to see my dear friend—the great [[Creator/BillCosby BILL COSBY]]—have his name dragged through the mud this year. Funny? YOU BET! A rapist? HARDLY! Oh, wait … now, wait a second here. I’m just remembering. 1962. The Ferret Club. [[Creator/JackNicholson Irish]] and I, sitting in the booth, drinking champers and having a couple of starlets (it was Ann-Margaret and Leann-Margaret!) feed us shrimp eggs. Well, into the club comes the Cos, who proceeds to sit down at our booth and tell a FABULOUS story about [[WesternAnimation/FatAlbertAndTheCosbyKids an overweight kid named Albert]] who used to sit on the other children. Would have made a great TV show, if TV was my business (TV is grade school, baby).\
112	Well, we all finish up our shrimp eggs and snort some aspirin and it’s off to Woodland! Next thing I know, I wake up on the floor of my shower. I have sweater yarn in my teeth! And Nicholson is in the tub with four popsicle sticks up his ass! All this time, we figured it was the girls that slipped us the mickeys! I’LL BE DAMNED! I don’t know how I’ll break this to Nicholson. He’s been huge on popsicle sticks up his ass every since! This changes things considerably!''
113	-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/fuck-the-fade-route-1660807016 "Robert Evans"]]''', ''Roberts Evan's MVP Watch!''
114
115	!!WebVideo
116	->'''Grandpa''': Nice of you to come visit, Téa! I see your breasts have gotten a lot bigger.\
117	'''Tea''': Please don't talk about those...\
118	'''Grandpa''': WHAT, YOUR BOOBS?\
119	'''Tea''': Yes, those.\
120	'''Grandpa''': So you don't want me to talk about your gazongas.\
121	'''Tea''': No, I don't.\
122	'''Grandpa''': Okay, so just to be clear, I'm definitely not going to bring up [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms your double whammies. Your melons are off the table. Hooters are a no-go area. Ixnay on the eavage-clay!]]\
123	'''Tea''': Are you done?\
124	'''Grandpa''': Yes. So, how was school?\
125	'''Tea''': It was fi--\
126	'''Grandpa''': TITTIES!
127	-->''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''
128
129	!!RealLife
130	->"Creator/SusanSarandon ruined the world when she had a kid when she was, like, fucking 96 years old. Now, every actress wants to wait to have a kid at 90. I said to Heather, “How do you know you’ll get the same attention from men when you’re that age?” She was like, “Oh, you just like me for my blonde hair, my blue eyes and my big tits?” There was too long a pause before I answered, “Well…” and she just stormed out."
131	-->--'''Creator/JamesWoods''' on Creator/HeatherGraham, who is 23 years his junior
132
133	->''A group of 40/50-something men hoot and lech over a pair of women who’re peeling off their shirts, revealing bikini tops underneath. “Get ‘em out, then,” cry the men — [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer which is a direct quote]] — like literal Creator/BennyHill characters. They look tremendously pleased with themselves, and very comfortable in their booze-worn skins, as they leer their way down the prom. They’re also among the most grotesque caricatures I’ve ever seen, on the cartoonish level of a red-faced butcher chasing after a dog who’s got a string of sausages in its mouth.''
134	-->--'''[[https://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2014/12/30/the-beach-diaries-2014-3-in-an-occasional-series/ Stuart Millard]]''', ''The Beach Diaries''

Context Quotes / DirtyOldMan