1 | A [[MissionFromGod mission from God]]:\ |
2 | Use [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic the blues]] to thwart [[ThoseWackyNazis nazis]]\ |
3 | and destroy cop cars. |
4 | |
5 | "Illinois nazis\ |
6 | I hate illinois nazis"\ |
7 | Let's run them over! |
8 | ->-- [[{{Tropers/Febel99}} Febel99]] |
9 | |
10 | Crowd's getting angry;\ |
11 | Band distracts them by playing\ |
12 | ''Minnie The Moocher''. |
13 | ->-- [[{{Tropers/Eddurd}} Eddurd]] |
14 | |
15 | |
16 | '''A Mission From God, as told in Haiku''' |
17 | |
18 | Mom died in childbirth\ |
19 | Maybe illegitimate\ |
20 | Orphanages suck |
21 | |
22 | Picked up by a cop\ |
23 | Another boy abandoned\ |
24 | A ward of the state |
25 | |
26 | Elwood taken in\ |
27 | By Jake, his new big brother\ |
28 | Change their names to “Blues” |
29 | |
30 | Raised by God and nuns\ |
31 | A Cath-o-lic upbringing\ |
32 | They learn to raise Hell |
33 | |
34 | Brothers not by blood\ |
35 | Learned music in a basement\ |
36 | Whipped by a Penguin |
37 | |
38 | Black suit and white shirt\ |
39 | They too dress like the Penguin\ |
40 | But with sunglasses |
41 | |
42 | Like a real father\ |
43 | The janitor named Curtis\ |
44 | Gave them both some booze |
45 | |
46 | In and out of jail\ |
47 | They’re such a disappointment\ |
48 | To Sister Mary |
49 | |
50 | Out there in the world\ |
51 | They live their lives for music\ |
52 | Cheap booze and women |
53 | |
54 | One drove cars too fast\ |
55 | The other loved fast women\ |
56 | Both broke down easy |
57 | |
58 | Jake lands in the slam\ |
59 | Robbed for a room service bill\ |
60 | Gun wasn’t loaded |
61 | |
62 | Now the band has split\ |
63 | And Elwood trades the Caddy\ |
64 | For a microphone |
65 | |
66 | In for three to five\ |
67 | He’s out on good behavior\ |
68 | Best keep his cot warm |
69 | |
70 | Illinois Nazis\ |
71 | They hate Illinois Nazis\ |
72 | Run them off a bridge |
73 | |
74 | Nothing but bad luck\ |
75 | Elwood was stopped for speeding\ |
76 | He knew they had SCMODS |
77 | |
78 | Tries to outrun them\ |
79 | No way back to the highway\ |
80 | He drives through a mall |
81 | |
82 | Chat with the penguin\ |
83 | Need money for back taxes\ |
84 | A mission from God |
85 | |
86 | Jake needs just a day\ |
87 | She won’t take dirty money\ |
88 | Hits them with ruler |
89 | |
90 | Need the cash real fast\ |
91 | From God they get the answer\ |
92 | Reunite the band |
93 | |
94 | Matt “Guitar” Murphy\ |
95 | His old lady is angry\ |
96 | She tells him to think |
97 | |
98 | Magictones join too\ |
99 | No candy ass monkey suits\ |
100 | No Ramada Room |
101 | |
102 | Mr. Fabulous\ |
103 | He likes his high paying gig\ |
104 | He quits to play horns |
105 | |
106 | With used equipment\ |
107 | The band is back together\ |
108 | Ray takes IOUs |
109 | |
110 | The fat sound is back\ |
111 | It turns goat piss into gas\ |
112 | But they need a gig |
113 | |
114 | Country Bob’s Bunker\ |
115 | They’ve got Country and Western\ |
116 | Both kinds of music |
117 | |
118 | Good Ole Boys are mad\ |
119 | They drive a Winnebago\ |
120 | Got no union cards |
121 | |
122 | Maury books a gig\ |
123 | The Palace Hotel Ballroom\ |
124 | The hall is a barn |
125 | |
126 | Quick advertising\ |
127 | Out of gas and out of time\ |
128 | Elwood makes a date |
129 | |
130 | They’re late for the gig\ |
131 | Sabotaging cars they stop\ |
132 | Elwood thinks ahead |
133 | |
134 | Can’t get past the cops\ |
135 | Go through the ladies bathroom\ |
136 | Jake peeks into stalls |
137 | |
138 | Troopers and Nazis\ |
139 | Parole officer waits too\ |
140 | Orange Whips for three |
141 | |
142 | A few quick numbers\ |
143 | They get the cash and escape\ |
144 | Bluesmobile awaits |
145 | |
146 | Stood up at the church\ |
147 | Jake’s fiancé is angry\ |
148 | Now she wants revenge |
149 | |
150 | It wasn’t his fault\ |
151 | He was detained by locusts\ |
152 | Jake lifts an eyebrow |
153 | |
154 | A full tank of gas\ |
155 | Dark, they’re wearing sunglasses\ |
156 | Jake tells him “Hit it!” |
157 | |
158 | Back to Chicago\ |
159 | Must pay taxes by morning\ |
160 | High speed chase ensues |
161 | |
162 | They outrun the law\ |
163 | Police cars don’t stand a chance\ |
164 | Elwood pulls over |
165 | |
166 | Sweet Home Chicago\ |
167 | They’re almost at the courthouse\ |
168 | There’s a Picasso |
169 | |
170 | Ask for directions\ |
171 | Muzak in elevator\ |
172 | Still one step ahead |
173 | |
174 | Blockade door with desk\ |
175 | The Assessor’s still at lunch\ |
176 | Back in five minutes |
177 | |
178 | SWAT Team has arrived\ |
179 | All available units\ |
180 | The boys are unarmed |
181 | |
182 | Tax receipt in hand \ |
183 | The brothers are arrested\ |
184 | Not Elwood’s handcuffs |
185 | |
186 | Orphanage is saved\ |
187 | Mission from God completed\ |
188 | Can’t pay for lawyers |
189 | |
190 | In and out of jail\ |
191 | Revolving door of justice\ |
192 | Two recidivists |
193 | -> -- [[{{Tropers/JoZPierce}} JoZPierce]] |
194 | It's the Blues Brothers. |
195 | They are back outta the joint. |
196 | [[MemeticMutation Got my cheese whiz, boy?]] |
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FollowingContext Haiku / TheBluesBrothers
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